The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground S01E13
“Johnny Mundo vs. The Machine”
Last week: The evil Cage lost to Prince Puma by DQ, but got revenge by ripping up the title belt, while meanwhile a mysterious woman breaks into Dario’s office and reveals one name: Matanza.
Your hosts are Matt Striker & Vampiro
Son of Havoc v. Angelico
Matt Striker notes that Havoc has been a hard luck story, kind of like the Lucha Underground version of “The Chicago Cubs, or SD Jones”. That’s quite a contrast. Angelico takes him down with a drop toehold and throws some nice Muay Thai knees to put Havoc down, but walks into a tilt-a-whirl facebuster from Havoc that gets two. Havoc throws chops in the corner and follows with a standing moonsault for two, but Angelico comes back with a Pele kick from the mat. Havoc chokes him out on the ropes to cut him off again, but Angelico blocks a sunset flip with a double stomp and puts Havoc on the floor. He follows with a nice tope and back in for two. Havoc with a backbreaker for two and he goes up, but Angelico cuts him off and tries a superplex. Havoc wins that battle and tries a shooting star press, but Angelico moves and tries a Razor’s Edge. Havoc escapes and dumps him to the floor, but fakes a highspot instead of following up. Back in, Angelico makes a move on Ivelisse and gets slapped, but Havoc collides with her by mistake and Angelico rolls Havoc up for the pin at 6:34. Ivelisse doesn’t take that very well. Fun opener! ***1/4
Mietras, Dario meets with Johnny Mundo, ready to bury the hatchet and offer him a main event against Cage tonight.
Famous B v. Pentagon Jr.
We get a video package of Pentagon fighting a variety of different sparring partners in a mysterious dojo, apparently just leaving their dead bodies in a pile after the session. I feel like that’s a breach of etiquette somehow. Pentagon gets the CHOP OF ANGER in the corner after silencing the crowd first, but Famous B fights back with a flying armdrag before walking into a head kick from Pentagon. Package piledriver (some guy in the front row: “That’s Kevin Steen’s move!”) and he puts B in an armbar for the submission at 1:35. And then he breaks Famous B’s arm just to be a dick, and declares afterwards that he’s loyal to his “master”. *
Mietras, Dario hangs out with the mysterious Matanza, and lets him know that he won’t let Black Lotus get her revenge. We only see a shadow of Matanza and he growls in response.
Aerostar v. Drago
We get a stalemate to start, but Drago takes him into the corner and hits a codebreaker for two. Aerostar puts him on the floor and follows with a huge tope. Back in, Drago with a faceplant for two. Aerostar with a springboard elbow and rollup for two, but Drago snaps off a crazy blockbuster into a DDT out of nowhere for the pin at 4:11. He should stick with that as a finisher. Fun but too short. **1/2
Mietras, Katrina sneaks up on Fenix and delivers the Kiss of Death.
Cage v. Johnny Mundo
Cage is now wearing the remains of the title belt as his entrance gear. Mundo hits a Pele Kick for two and takes him down with a legsweep for two, but tries a dive off the apron and gets powerbombed into the ringpost as a result. Vampiro: “Did you know that if you fall and hit your head on those metal steps you could DIE?” Well thanks for clarifying. Back in, Cage gets two and hits a backbreaker for two while King Cuerno lurks in the crowd and watches. Cage with a double jump moonsault, but Mundo moves and makes the comeback. Leg lariat and Moonlight Drive gets two. Inverted DDT gets two. Cage catches him with the Alabama Slam for two, but Mundo escapes a pumphandle slam and hits a quebrada for two. Cage bails to escape the moonsault, but Mundo follows with a corkscrew dive over the post while Cuerno stalks in and takes out Mundo for the DQ at 6:37. Man, that’s two weeks in a row with bullshit DQ finishes in the main event. Cuerno smashes a chair into Johnny’s knee, but Dario Cueto interrupts because he doesn’t want bullshit DQ finishes in his “five star main events”, so the match continues, as a “favor” to his new friend Johnny. That’s pretty funny, and Vampiro notes that he might just be doing that to be a dick. Ya think? So Cage heads back in and goes after the injured leg, resulting in Mundo accidentally kicking the post with his bad leg. What a moron. Back in, Cage gets a stretch muffler on him, but Mundo fights back with a high kick and hits an Overdrive for two. Cage hauls him out of the corner and hits an F5 for two. Johnny with a sunset flip for two. Cage with a discus lariat and a Gory Special into a Flatliner to finally finish him off at 10:00 total. The finish ended up being pretty great after the fakeout finish. ***1/4
And back in Dario’s office, we meet Alberto El Patron.
Lots of fun matches and big plot threads set up here, as the show is really getting into the groove now.