The Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA Genesis 2005

It’s the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning, or something, as Planet Jarrett collides with Rhino & Team 3D! Plus: the first-ever 8-man Elimination X, AJ Styles defends the X Division Title, and someone who is actually relevant jumps from WWE to TNA!!

The Chrononaut Chronicles: TNA Genesis 2005 – Sunday, November 13, 2005

– We open with a silent graphic that reads “In Memory of Eddie Guerrero 1967-2005” because he had died that very morning. I’ll never forget waking up that day and checking PWInsider, only to find out this horrible news. I couldn’t believe it. Classy thing for TNA to do, though.

– A really slick video opens the PPV, featuring clips of various U.S. Presidents speaking to get over the Genesis theme of the beginning of the end… or the end of the beginning?

– Raven comes out for his match and Larry Zbyszko reiterates his offer for Raven to sign his release from TNA or face the consequences. Larry claims he’ll have no problem finding people who want to help him make Raven’s life miserable because Raven has made a lot of enemies, but Raven responds with a double-bird. Larry mentions that maybe the rumors are true and Raven has some girl running his life, which sets Raven off and he tries to attack Zbyszko, but TNA Security pull him back and the Living Legend wishes him good luck in hell. Larry exits the ring as the Artist Formerly Known As Justin Credible is introduced as Raven’s surprise opponent.

– Raven vs. PJ Polaco

The former Justin Credible enters to a “Snap Your Fingers, Snap Your Neck” ripoff and I wonder why TNA hasn’t used it for someone else since then. Mike Tenay brings up rumors that Raven tried to hold back PJ from advancing in his career, as Polaco escapes from a front-facelock with a knee to the groin and takes control with some thrilling offense. PJ finds a kendo stick under the ring, but Cassidy Riley appears and assumes the crucifixion pose in front of Raven to protect him, so PJ canes Cassidy and misses a shot on Raven, who unloads with his usual comeback offense in the ring. PJ blocks the DDT and fires off a superkick, but Raven catches the foot and applies an ankle lock. Polaco flips out and scores a two-count after a spinning DDT, but Raven reverses an Irish-whip and plants PJ with the DDT for the 1-2-3 at 5:45. *1/4 On the stage surrounded by TNA Security, Zbyszko doesn’t look impressed as Raven states that he’s coming for him.

– A video package recaps the 3 Live Kru/Team Canada feud and the problems between Konnan and Kip James causing a rift within 3LK.

– Shane Douglas interviews 3LK and asks BG for his comments on the “major acquisition” rumored to be debuting tonight. BG makes the obvious analogy between WWE and the Titanic before getting to tonight’s match with Kip as the special referee. Konnan still doesn’t trust Kip, but says that 3LK will continue to do the damn thing.

– Six Sided Stick Fight: Team Canada (Eric Young & A1 & Bobby Roode) vs. 3 Live Kru (Konnan & BG James & Ron Killings)

Kip James is wearing the Shawn Michaels referee outfit with tight short-shorts and a tied-off shirt, as Jeremy Borash explains the rules: there are six hockey sticks on poles in each corner, but only the legal men in the ring can bring them down and use them. Konnan does his “Arriba La Raza” shtick with an added tribute to Eddie Guerrero, drawing “Eddie” chants, before BG goes through his usual routine on the mic. Despite not being the legal man, Eric Young (wearing some type of protective headgear) retrieves one of the sticks, but Kip stops him before he can use it, snaps it over his knee, and takes the headgear too. BG decks Roode and goes for a stick, but develops a nosebleed from getting too high (I’m sure he’s been higher) and tags in Truth, who is successful in getting the stick. Konnan puts his shoe on the end of a hockey stick and uses it on the Canadians, throwing his shoe at Eric, but Team Canada isolate BG and gang up on him in their corner. BG finally makes the hot tag to Truth, who cleans house as chaos erupts with all six men in the ring. BG & Konnan place the hockey sticks on Young’s genitalia and hold his legs in the air as Truth dives off the top with the flying legdrop to the groin and pins Eric at 10:23. *1/2 Afterwards, Konnan knuckles up with Kip for calling it right down the middle, daddy, and Tenay proclaims that they are all on the same page now.

– Shane Douglas interviews James Mitchell, who warns the “major acquisition” that he won’t be leapfrogging over Abyss for a title shot. The sinister minister discusses tonight’s No DQ match against Sabu, theorizing that Sabu asked for the stipulation to take advantage of the recent discovery of the one thing Abyss fears: barbed wire. Abyss groans every time Mitchell says “barbed wire” as Mitchell claims that it took months of therapy to cure Abyss of his phobia, but Sabu opened Pandora’s Box and will pay for it. Abyss squishes an egg dressed like Sabu to demonstrate.

– And now the moment we’ve all been waiting for: a pair of shoes walks backstage and a countdown begins in the Impact Zone as “Captain Charisma” Christian Cage makes his TNA debut and gets a great reaction. Christian says that everybody wanted to know why he was jumping to TNA and we have an unintentionally funny moment, as Christian claims that he was sick of seeing the same guy saying the same thing every week while a backstage camera shows Jeff Jarrett with America’s Most Wanted & Gail Kim reacting to Cage’s appearance. Christian rips on the sickening “Dr. Heinie” Raw skit and clarifies that he turned down a “hefty sum” from WWE to jump to TNA. Christian states that he came to TNA because he loves wrestling and plugs Impact as he puts over TNA as young, hungry, and cutting-edge. The Captain advises Jarrett not to wear white pants after Labor Day and sets his sights on the NWA World Heavyweight Championship, promising to fulfill his destiny because THAT’S how he rolls.

Coach D’Amore (a “shit-eating grin” on his face, to quote Don West) and Bobby Roode make their way out as D’Amore welcomes Cage to TNA and recalls all the memories they shared with Adam, Lance, and Jericho when they broke in, doing a pretty good Stu Hart impression to boot. D’Amore rambles on about Christian joining the faction with Team Canada, Jarrett, & AMW and Roode cuts an intense “You’re with us or against us” promo demanding an answer. The Coach tells Bobby to zip it and informs Christian that he needs an answer by the end of the night, giving him a Team Canada t-shirt as D’Amore is confident that Captain Charisma will make the right choice. Christian responds that the shirt is the right size, but he’ll need some time to see if it’s the right fit. Good line.

– A video package sets up the “Contender’s Match” between Monty Brown and Jeff Hardy.

– Shane Douglas interviews Monty Brown, who cuts one of his silly promos, although he does earn points for mentioning that Christian doesn’t reek of awesomeness. The Alpha Male promises that Hardy and Cage will both acquire the PPPOOOOOOOUUUUNNNNCCCCEEEEEE…PERIOD!

– Contender’s Match: Jeff Hardy vs. Monty Brown

Early on, Jeff spasms and writhes around like a junkie in detox as a distraction to confuse the Alpha Male. That’s a different tactic. Monty takes control anyway with a fallaway slam, but Hardy avoids the Pounce and sends Monty out to the floor, where Jeff misses a sliding kick. Brown tosses Jeff into the crowd and poses, but Jeff comes back with a Railrunner off the bleacher boards to ringside. Compactor in the ring gets a two-count, but Monty hurls Jeff over the top rope with an overhead belly-to-belly and orders Tenay and West to move as he threatens to throw Hardy over the announce table, but Monty makes a U-turn and returns Hardy to the ring instead. Monty controls until Jeff lands the Whisper In The Wind off the top and the double-legdrop to the groin, then slips out of the Alpha Bomb and drops Brown with the inverted Twist Of Fate for a near-fall. Like an idiot, Jeff yells “SWANTON!” a couple times before going to the top, so the Alpha Male rolls out of the way and the pool is empty. Monty quickly finishes off Hardy with the Pounce at 8:43. * I had remembered this being better, but that match was not good and Jeff looked like shit. This would be his last TNA PPV appearance, as he would no-show his Preshow match the following month to signal his exile from TNA.

– A video package recaps the buildup for the first-ever 4-on-4 Elimination X match, which is basically your traditional Survivor Series bout featuring X Division guys.

– Shane Douglas interviews Christopher Daniels, Roderick Strong, & Alex Shelley, who demands to know where “Samoa Joe-Joe” is. The Fallen Angel assures Alex that Joe will be there for his Ministry when the time is right.

– Elimination X: Samoa Joe & Alex Shelley & Roderick Strong & Christopher Daniels vs. Matt Bentley (w/Traci) & Austin Aries & Sonjay Dutt & Chris Sabin

Samoa Joe’s three partners try to interact with him at ringside, but he no-sells them. Shelley displays some great chain-wrestling that ends with an STF on Dutt, who grabs the rope to break. Joe gets the tag and walks away from Sonjay’s crossbody attempt like he did on the Primetime Special, but this time Sonjay waits and lands a moonsault for a two-count before tagging Aries, who gets caught with an inverted atomic drop and the one-footed dropkick, followed by the senton backsplash. Joe tags Daniels and Aries tags Sabin, who snaps off some sweet twisting headscissors and a huracanrana. Joe helps his squad by kneeing Sabin as he runs off the ropes and Daniels kisses up to Joe, as the heels isolate Sabin until he makes the hot tag to Aries and chaos ensues with all eight guys getting involved at various times.

Joe is left alone against Sabin, Aries, & Dutt and they toss him to the floor before triple-diving onto Joe, Strong, & Shelley in a cool spot. Back in the ring, Aries drops Strong with the brainbuster and lands the 450 off the top for the first elimination at 12:02. Joe appears on the apron and Austin stares him down, allowing Daniels to quickly roll Aries up and even the odds at 12:23. The faces manage to isolate Shelley and Sonjay hits him with a shining wizard, then knocks Joe & Daniels off the apron and lands the standing shooting star press on Alex for a near-fall. Dutt sets up Shelley for the top-rope Sprinkler but Daniels runs in, so Dutt takes him down with a flying headscissors at the same time. Shelley plants Dutt with the Shellshock for a near-fall and applies the Border City Stretch, forcing Sonjay to tap out at 15:13 as Daniels & Joe knock Sabin & Bentley off the apron to stop them from interfering.

Bentley fights off the heels and superkicks Shelley for elimination #4 at 15:53 before tagging Sabin, who hangs Daniels in the tree of woe and nails the hesitation dropkick to the face, followed by a fisherman buster for two. Joe gets the tag and snap-powerslams Sabin, but Bentley breaks the pin and tags in, almost getting caught in the Muscle Buster until he fights Joe off and drops the flying elbow off the top. Daniels stops the pin and rolls Joe to the corner so he can tag himself in and lands the Best Moonsault Ever for a near-fall. Bentley & Sabin catch Daniels on top and hook him up for a double superplex, but Joe comes in underneath and double-powerbombs them as they superplex Daniels in a wicked Tower of Doom spot. Joe dumps Sabin out and facewashes Bentley, but when he goes for the running facewash, Matt cracks him with the superkick and scores a near-fall even though Joe isn’t legal.

Matt backslides Daniels for two and hops up onto his shoulders, but Joe comes in and takes Bentley off the Fallen Angel’s shoulders, crushing Matt with the Muscle Buster and locking on the Kokina Clutch for the tap-out at 20:40, leaving Sabin all by himself. Daniels & Joe pounce on Sabin, but he fights back with a double-rotation tornado DDT on Daniels, clocking Joe with a pair of enzuigiries. Sabin springboards in with a dropkick to the back and hoists Joe up for the Cradle Shock but Daniels pulls Joe down, so Sabin kicks Daniels and lifts him for the Cradle Shock. Joe breaks that up and grabs Sabin in the Muscle Buster, but Bentley hooks his foot from ringside and Sabin escapes. Daniels immediately plants Sabin with the Angel’s Wings to score the deciding pinfall in 23:15. ****

Afterwards, Joe confronts Daniels for “stealing” his pin as the commentators point out that they got the victory, so it doesn’t matter. Joe appears to forgive Daniels, but he nails him with the one-foot dropkick and chairshots him at ringside. The commentary seems to indicate that Joe is the bad guy now, but the crowd disagrees and chants “Joe” as Daniels is busted open and Joe creams him with the Ole Kick. Back in the ring, Joe kills Daniels with two Muscle Busters, including one on a chair, and looks at him like a psycho as a gaggle of referees and TNA Security flood in to stretcher out the Fallen Angel. AJ Styles appears on the ramp and looks concerned to get the assault over as something truly barbaric, since Styles and Daniels were bitter rivals to this point. Tenay says Joe’s attack goes against everything the X Division stands for. This actually would have been a great full-heel turn for Joe if: a.) Daniels had shown even a hint of a babyface turn rather than acting like a self-obsessed heel in the weeks leading up; and b.) the Orlando fans didn’t love Joe so much. Kind of hard to sell this beating as a horrible atrocity when the fans are chanting “One more time”.

– Shane Douglas interviews Jeff Jarrett, who gloats about being right for the last few months when he said that TNA was going to bring in new talent to replace the “cornerstones” like AMW and himself, mentioning the recent acquisitions of Rhino, Team 3D, and now Christian. AMW cut a promo on 3D and Jarrett addresses Christian rather than Rhino, even though Rhino is the guy who’s actually facing him tonight. Great way to sell Rhino as a fearsome opponent, Jeff.

– Don West is on the scene as Christopher Daniels is loaded into an ambulance and taken away.

– A video package recaps the Sabu/Abyss feud and the Monster’s newly-discovered fear of barbed wire. They show Sabu appearing on Impact with his arm covered in a white sheet, which he removed to reveal barbed wire wrapped around his arm. This was one of my favorite angles ever… so basic, yet it fit perfectly for both characters and led to some violent matches.

– No Disqualification: Abyss (w/James Mitchell) vs. Sabu

The lights go out for Sabu’s entrance and when they come back on, Sabu is in the ring with a white sheet covering his arm and chases Abyss out, but removes the sheet to reveal his bare arm as the commentators sell it as just a mindgame and Abyss freaks out. Sabu springboards off a chair and sails over the top rope, crashing onto Abyss. They brawl around ringside and Sabu sets up a table, but Abyss pounds Sabu’s broken nose in the ring until Sabu catches him on the top turnbuckle and brings him down with a huracanrana. Abyss chairshots Sabu and wedges the chair in the turnbuckles, but he ends up eating it when Sabu avoids a charge and hits the springboard leg lariat. Triple-jump moonsault gets a two-count and Sabu rolls to the floor, ordering the cameraman to “get outta my fuckin’ way” as he repositions the table before slingshotting out with a somersault legdrop on Abyss through the table.

Abyss retrieves the thumbtacks and spreads them on the mat while Sabu surprises him with a chair wrapped in barbed wire, but Mitchell distracts him before he can use it and Abyss blindsides him. Sabu fights back, but Abyss clubs him with a stiff shot to the nose and chokeslams him on the thumbtacks. Sabu kicks out of the pin and Abyss goes for a splash off the middle turnbuckle, but Sabu moves and the Monster lands on the tacks. A springboard palm thrust from Sabu gets two and he applies the Dromedary Clutch, but Abyss grabs the rope to break it. IN A NO-DQ MATCH. ARGH. Sabu escapes from a powerbomb, but Abyss plants Sabu with the Black Hole Slam on the barbed-wire chair for the three-count. Ouch. Afterwards, Mitchell tries to hand the barbed-wire chair to Abyss to hit Sabu, but the Monster is still afraid and takes off. *** Can’t get enough of these two trying to kill each other on PPV.

– A video package shows highlights from the Ultimate X match on the Primetime Special and Petey hitting the Canadian Destroyer on AJ on Impact to set up our X Championship match for tonight.

– Shane Douglas interviews AJ Styles, who talks about how Joe violated the X Division code with his brutal assault earlier. Getting to this evening’s title defense, AJ puts over the Canadian Destroyer as one of the coolest moves in the last 10 years but says that Petey isn’t Phenomenal like himself.

– TNA X Division Title: Petey Williams (w/A1) vs. AJ Styles ©

A1 accompanies Petey, and we get JB’s Super Special Ring Introductions after the entrances. Petey and AJ go through some nice wrestling exchanges to start off as Tenay speculates that D’Amore is backstage trying to persuade Christian. Styles kneedrops Petey twice, once on the forehead and once on the back of the head, for a two-count. AJ goes for the Styles Clash, but Petey grabs the ropes, so AJ dumps him onto the apron and knocks him to the floor, then soars over the top with a no-hands somersault dive that ends with AJ in the crowd. Awesome. A1 steps into the crowd and challenges AJ to dive on him, but Styles shrugs him off and gets caught on the apron as Petey GERMAN-SUPLEXES HIM OFF THE APRON ONTO THE GUARDRAIL. That is just an insane bump. A1 tries to stand on AJ, so referee Slick Johnson ejects him from ringside.

Back in the ring, Petey drills AJ with a backdrop driver for two and hooks in a bodyscissor/rear-bearhug to work over the back. Styles escapes and scores a couple of two-counts off of roll-ups, but Williams knocks him to the floor and slingshots out with a huracanrana. Petey refreshes himself with a bottle of water and performs the “O Canada” nutpress in the ring before dropkicking AJ in the back of the neck for two. Petey cat-and-mouses AJ, who fires off the Pele Kick and unloads with clotheslines, a spinkick, and a pair of gutbusters. German suplex into the inverted Clash earns AJ a near-fall, but Petey counters a springboard DDT with a Northern Lights suplex for two. Styles comes back with the suplex-neckbreaker for two and catches Petey when he leaps off the top for a huracanrana, rolling him up for two.

AJ tries for the Styles Clash, but Petey counters with a DDT for two. Williams sets up the Canadian Destroyer, but Styles escapes, so Petey hits the Canadian Legsweep and applies the Sharpshooter, trapping the arm so he can’t grab the rope. Styles uses the other arm instead to grab the rope and turns Petey inside-out with a springboard flying forearm, but Petey drop-toeholds him into the middle turnbuckle and goes to the top. AJ fires off a sweet Pele and climbs up with Petey, who blocks a superplex and goes for the Super Destroyer, but AJ back-bodydrops him to the canvas and stands on the top turnbuckle as Samoa Joe appears on the stage to distract Styles. Williams climbs up and tries to capitalize, but AJ plants Petey with the Styles Clash off the top for the 1-2-3 to retain the X Division Championship in 18:20. Afterwards, AJ stares down Joe from the ring. **** Incredible chemistry here.

– What looks like a promo video for AJ Styles turns out to be a promo for TNA Turning Point ’05 on Sunday, December 11.

– A video package, featuring Jarrett regaining the NWA Title from Rhino as well as AMW leaving Team 3D a bloody heap, builds up our six-man main event.

– Shane Douglas works in the word “Extreme” a few times as he interviews Team 3D & Rhino, who all vow revenge on Planet Jarrett. Ray then takes the mic and has a special message for Eddie Guerrero: “Vaya con dios, mi amigo.” The three men then put their fists together and we see that Ray & Devon have “EDDIE” written on their wrist tape, which is a nice tribute.

– America’s Most Wanted & Jeff Jarrett (w/Gail Kim) vs. Rhino & Team 3D

Jarrett, Chris Harris, & James Storm go out to separate spots in the crowd to start the match, so Rhino goes after the NWA World Champion, Ray takes the Cowboy, and Devon gets the Wildcat. Ray tosses Storm over the announce table and throws Don West’s seat at him while Rhino gorilla-presses Jarrett face-first on a chair, but Jarrett reverses an Irish-whip into a row of vacated seats. Ray high-fives some fans as he punches Storm while Rhino slams Jarrett’s head against the Spanish announce table and they stand on the table. No wonder Moody Jack got so pissed off. Jarrett lowblows the Man Beast and pushes him off the table, sending Rhino tumbling down a flight of steps in a scary-looking bump. AMW battle back against Team 3D while Rhino snap-suplexes Jarrett onto a pair of chairs on the ramp.

Devon clocks Harris with the ringbell to bust him open while in the ring, Ray rips Storm open with a cheese grater and licks the grater afterwards. That can’t be sanitary. The fans chant “We want tables” and they get their wish as 3D set up a table in the ring and try to double-suplex Storm through it, but Harris pulls the table away just in time and double-clotheslines Devon & Ray. Harris lowblows Ray with the cheese grater while Rhino bashes Jarrett with a trashcan on the entrance stage and asks the crowd if they want him to “piledrive this motherfucker”. At ringside, Ray goes to powerbomb Harris through a table, but Storm moves the table and Harris hits the floor instead. You know, that’s only a helpful strategy if it’s a Tables match; landing straight on the floor looks more painful than going through a table.

Rhino drags a table up the ramp, but Jarrett attacks before he can use it, so the Man Beast drills the NWA World Champion with the Rhinodriver on the stage (ouch) and props up the table vertically in front of the entrance tunnel. Rhino charges at Jarrett to Gore him through the table, but Storm cuts him off with a superkick and Rhino falls off the stage. In the ring, Devon counters the Catatonic with the Saving Grace and gets a two-count on Harris, which I believe is the first pin attempt of the match. Storm drops Devon with the inverted tornado DDT for two and Ray crushes the Cowboy with the Bubba Bomb for two.

Ray grabs Jarrett for the Bubba Bomb, but the NWA Champion lowkicks and Strokes him for a near-fall. I gotta give JJ credit there, he didn’t even wait that long to cover him. Jarrett shoves the referee, who shoves him back as Rhino runs in and Gores JJ, but Harris pulls the ref out before he can count to three and Rhino chases the Wildcat around ringside, only to be clotheslined by the Cowboy. AMW lift Rhino up and ram him scrotum-first against the ringpost before nailing Devon with the Hart Attack in the ring for a near-fall. They set up Devon for the Death Sentence through a table, but Ray pushes Harris off the top down to the guardrail and headbutts the Cowboy. Team 3D plants Storm with the 3D and Devon pins him to end this crazy six-man brawl in 15:48. ****

Afterwards, Rhino comes in and celebrates, but Jarrett busts the guitar over his head. The former Dudleyz set up a table and place Jarrett on it, preparing to powerbomb Gail Kim on top of him, but Team Canada storms the ring and pounds Ray & Devon. They lay Devon on the table and Jarrett goes to the top turnbuckle, but Christian Cage runs out and the Canadians retreat, leaving D’Amore in the ring and Jarrett on the top as Christian removes his ring jacket to reveal a Team Canada t-shirt. The crowd boos as Christian shakes hands with D’Amore and embraces him, but suddenly he drills the Coach with the Unprettier and slams Jarrett off the turnbuckle. Team 3D comes in and helps clean house before lifting Jarrett in the air as Cage brings him down with the 3D through the table. Christian pulls off the Canada shirt to reveal a TNA shirt and celebrates with Ray & Devon to close the PPV.

Afterthoughts: Another strong PPV from TNA, making it four in a row that I can attest to, not having seen any TNA PPVs (other than February 2005’s Against All Odds) prior to Sacrifice ’05. The main event was almost worth the price by itself, a chaotic brawl all over the Impact Zone that lived up to the buildup, which promised vengeance and retribution for Team 3D & Rhino. Seeing the TNA debut of Christian, who had just appeared on SmackDown nine days earlier, was awesome and he said everything that a lot of disgruntled WWE fans (myself included) had been saying at the time. The mini-angle of whether he would join Jarrett’s faction was a foregone conclusion, but it was cool to see him kick Jarrett’s ass and help his former WWE rivals, the Dudleys, with the 3D. Other than that, we got a really good Elimination X match and the bloody Daniels beatdown by Joe, which reignited the three-way feud with Styles for new TNA viewers like myself. AJ vs. Petey was an underrated match-up, with some good crisp wrestling rather than highspots and a sick bump by AJ on the German suplex off the apron. Speaking of sick, Abyss and Sabu had another violent encounter to set up the barbed-wire match next month at Turning Point. The rest wasn’t spectacular, but mostly solid with even the 3LK/Team Canada spiced up with the Six Sided Stick Fight stipulation. Recommended.

For more of my reviews, visit The Chrononaut Chronicles.