The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–11.29.93 / 12.06.93 / 12.13.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – December 13 1993

– Live from Poughkeepsie, NY.

– Your hosts are Vince McMahon & James E. Cornette.

Randy Savage v. Fatu

So I guess Savage is now officially out of retirement again to build up for the Crush match at Wrestlemania. Fatu slugs away to start, but Savage rams his head into the mat. Well that ndoes nothing, so we get the cool spot where Fatu no-sells it and superkicks Savage in response. Macho bumps out of the ring and they brawl on the floor for a bit, with Savage meeting the stairs as a result. Back in, Fatu drops a headbutt for two. He tosses Savage and hits him with the SHRUNKEN HEAD OF DOOM for two, but Savage makes his usual comeback with a clothesline and the big elbow for the pin at 5:50. Usual Savage babyface formula here, as the people go nuts for him whether he’s trying or not. *1/2

The Smoking Gunns v. Steve Smyth & Jim Massenger

The Gunns hit Smyth with a double legsweep and a Rockerplex, while Captain Lou scouts talent at ringside. Bart works on the arm of Massenger, but the jobber comes back with weak shoulderblocks in the corner. Bart DDTs him and brings in Billy with a top rope bulldog to finish at 2:46. If they were doing the “Which team will Albano mentor?” gimmick, I’m kind of surprised they didn’t go with an obvious choice like the Gunns, rather than the out-of-left-field payoff we got instead.

Last week, Shawn Michaels and Diesel beat the hell out of Razor Ramon.

IRS v. Todd Mata

In a historic moment, we finally see the contents of IRS’ briefcase, and it turns out that he’s carrying Razor Ramon’s gold around with him. Something’s gonna happen to him now, I bet. Irwin with the snapmare and legdrop, and he puts Mata down with a back elbow and drops one. Mata comes back with a sunset flip for two, but IRS dumps him and brings him back in with a backdrop suplex for the pin at 1:43.

Meanwhile, Yokozuna has a nightmare about being nice to kids while working as Santa Claus.

The Undertaker v. J.S. Storm

We take a break and return with UT tossing Storm and sending him into the stairs. Back in, Taker hangs the jobber in the tree of woe and beats on him while the announcers discuss the upcoming casket match between Undertaker and Yokozuna. Cornette’s view: “It’s gonna be bad.” Truer words have never been spoken. Chokeslam and tombstone finish at 1:55.

Jeff Jarrett…now in montage form! Apparently we’ve run out of silly country music promos, so it’s time for him to finally debut next week.

Rick Martel v. Tim McNeany

Martel slugs on McNeany, but gets hiptossed. Bodypress gets two. Martel slams him and stomps away, but the jobber gets two with a small package. McNeany with a sunset flip for two, but he charges and hits boot. Martel with a front facelock and a clothesline, but McNeany catches Martel with his head down. Martel avoids a charge, however, and finishes with the Boston crab at 3:00.

Meanwhile, on Superstars, Owen Hart sits down for an interview with Vince, and challenges Bret to a match.

Bret Hart v. The Brooklyn Brawler

Bret works on the arm while Cornette accuses Vince of always taking Bret Hart’s side in disputes. Oh, the irony. Bret with a bodypress for two and back to the armbar. Brawler tries to slam out to no avail, but goes to the eyes and chokes away in the corner. Slam and he goes up, but Bret was faking and slams him off. Bret drops the leg and gets the legsweep. Second rope elbow gets two. Backbreaker and Sharpshooter finish at 4:15.

Next week: Men on a Mission! Owen Hart! Jeff Jarrett! Tatanka v. Ludvig Borga!