The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–11.29.93 / 12.06.93 / 12.13.93

I’m getting far ahead on the Observer Flashbacks again, so let’s catch up the RAW reviews since these are all short and boring anyway.  Minor note:  I’ve now discovered that splitting long posts into multiple pages is a thing I can do, so we’ll try it with this one.

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – November 29 1993

– Live from White Plains, NY.

– Your hosts are Vince and Bobby.

The Steiner Brothers v. Mike Khoury & Reno Riggins

Scott takes Khoury down a couple of times, then hits him with a dragon suplex. Over to Rick for a Steinerline, and Reno reluctantly tags in. Rick runs him into the corner and Scott wraps him up on the mat and adds a dropkick, then adds the Steiner Screwdriver. Jesus, he’s busting that thing out on a weekly basis on this show. Back to the other jobber, and the Frankensteiner kills him dead like H1N1 at 3:48. Or at least makes him feel lousy for a week.

Meanwhile, Jeff Jarrett tries to get a meeting with a talent agency (giving us a cameo from longtime Memphis manager Ronald Gossett) and gets thrown out of the building. Same thing would probably happen if he was trying for a job in the WWE today.

Razor Ramon v. Diesel

I’m pretty sure this would be the first-ever match between Nash and Hall. Razor works on the arm to start, but Diesel powers him down and tries a headlock. Razor gets out of that, so Diesel pounds on the back and gets the running choke. Backbreaker gets two. Sideslam gets two. Snake Eyes gets two. He goes to a bearhug, but runs into a boot in the corner. Razor with a bulldog for two and he makes the comeback, but as you’d expect, Shawn runs in for the DQ at 5:04. 1-2-3 Kid makes the save, and that would be a hell of a tag match right there. Actually, they did have that match on Action Zone in 1994, and it was ****+, come to think of it. This match was less so. *1/2

Bam Bam Bigelow v. John Crystal

Crystal is the jobber who people think is Santino Marella for some bizarre reason. Never mind he’d be way too old now, but he clearly doesn’t have the unibrow! Bigelow tosses him around and goes to a neck vice, then chucks him out of the ring. Back in, more slams and a clothesline, and the enzuigiri finishes at 3:12.

Meanwhile, on Wrestling Challenge, Doink’s promo is interrupted by Santa Claus, who gives him the best gift a clown can get: A midget dressed as another clown. Oh, great, so it was friggin’ SANTA CLAUS who unleashed this stupid angle on the world. I always knew he’d be a crappy booker. So yeah, Dink the Clown is born. No wonder Matt Bourne got the hell out of the promotion.

Vince McMahon is out to award the Superstar of the Year trophy to Bret Hart, and for some reason also brings out runner-up Lex Luger as well. Yes, he can’t even win a rigged fan vote! This, of course, was actually going somewhere. Bret’s speech doesn’t really say too much.

Owen Hart v. Chris Duffy

Duffy attacks to start and gets hit with a leg lariat as a result. Backdrop and he hammers away with forearms, but Duffy puts him down with a back elbow. Owen comes back with the enzuigiri, putting Duffy on the floor, and Owen follows with a pescado, and finishes with a missile dropkick and Sharpshooter at 2:42. Bobby Heenan asks the hard questions afterwards, but Owen just walks away.

Ludvig Borga v. Scott Taylor

Borga pounds him down, but misses an elbow and gets dropkicked. Taylor’s offense all gets no-sold and Borga clotheslines him for a nice 180 sell, followed by a headbutt to put him down again. Torture rack finishes at 2:21.

Next week: Shawn Michaels v. The 1-2-3 Kid! Doink! Crush!