The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic–S01E05

The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic – S01E05

After I finished the initial four episodes, the next four dropped on the Network, and apparently “snarking on the women” equals pageviews. So let’s carry on.

Holy cow, I actually got a COMMERCIAL at the beginning of the show. Haven’t seen any for months, in fact. Aside from the dozen or so that litter every PPV, AMIRITE?

So our field is down to 16 after some questionable booking decisions, and the second round commences.

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are JR & Lita, sounding about as bored as they did on the first night.

Abbey Laith v. Rachael Evers

They trade shots to start and Evers bails, allowing Laith to follow with a dive, so I guess the kid gloves are off in the second round. Abbey pounds away in the ring, but Evers hits a stunner out of nowhere for two. STO and legdrop get two. Evers boots her down and they scream at each other, then collide while they both try high kicks. Abbey comes back with a series of spinkicks, but goes up and gets caught with a powerslam off the top for two. Rachel tries a fameasser, but Abbey catches the leg and rolls her up with the Alligator Clutch for the pin at 4:50. Very short, but fun while it lasted. **1/2

Piper Niven v. Serena Deeb

Serena tries a headlock and gets slammed for two as a result, but perseveres and goes back to it again. Piper escapes with a backdrop suplex and adds the big splash for two, but a senton misses. Deeb takes her down with the headlock this time, and manages a hard-fought monkey flip out of the corner. Neckbreaker gets two. She tries a slam, and Piper tosses her into the corner for a cannonball, and that gets two. Deeb keeps coming with a facebuster for two, but Piper sends her into the corner again and follows with a pump splash for two. The crowd wants one more, so Piper goes up and misses a flying splash. Deeb tries her spear, but Piper catches her and finishes with the Michinoku Driver at 7:11. They worked the ol’ Sting v. Vader formula and it tends to always work. ***

Mercedes Martinez v. Princesa Sugehit

After all the talk of Santana Garrett being “Wonder Woman” last time, Sugehit is the one wearing the Wonder Woman outfit this time. Sugehit puts Mercedes in the corner and dropkicks her for two, but walks into a tilt-a-while slam that gets two. Mercedes with the rolling suplexes into a draping neckbreaker for two. Sugehit comes back with a codebreaker in the corner and they head up and fight over a superplex, which turns into a tornado DDT from Sugehit that gets two. Sugehit takes her down with an armbar, but Mercedes rolls out of it and gets a fisherman’s buster to finish at 5:11. Eh, this was pretty slow and awkward and the finish was out of nowhere. *1/2

Kairi Sane v. Bianca Belair

Bianca powers Kairi down after threatening her with the HAIRWHIP OF DOOM, and works a headlock. She blows a kiss, which Sane catches and stomps into the ground, then hits a dropkick for two. That’s COLD, man. Bianca indeed whips her with the hair to take over, and that’s just nasty. And the crowd is IRATE. That’s awesome. That’s, like, actual heat from the stupid Full Sail morons. Good, fuck them and their stupid chants. Sane tries a guillotine and Bianca powers out of it and into a delayed suplex for two. Bianca goes to a full nelson on the mat and she’s just stretching Sane all over, into the double chickenwing slam for two. I like that she’s using all the power stuff and keeping it simple, that’s much better than her first round showing where she was just kind of generic sassy girl. Sane fights back with chops to counter the braid and hits a flying forearm out of the corner for two. Into a straitjacket hold on the mat, but Bianca powers out again and hits a powerslam for two. If Belair makes it further in the company, they need to do the spot where someone chokes her out with her own hair. Sane makes the comeback and gets all fired up, but walks into a spinebuster and Belair follows with a 450 for two. Spear misses and Sane puts her down with an axe kick, then hits the corner clothesline and goes up to finish with the flying elbow at 9:57. This was a much better showing for Belair and a really good match to boot. ***1/2

Next time: Shayna Baszler and more!