The SmarK Rant for the Mae Young Classic – S01E03
Taped from Orlando, FL
Your hosts are JR & Lita. So we’re into the third episode now and I’m desperately wanting a third person in the booth with actual insight, like Nigel or Mauro, instead of bored JR and Lita reading facts off cue cards.
Ayesha Raymond v. Toni Storm
Storm has a tiny hat on her head, perhaps as a tribute to Adebisi from Oz? Raymond has her face painted like a cat because cats are about strength and intimidation or whatever. Obviously she has not met my cat before. Perhaps she’ll passive-aggressively meow at her opponent if they don’t feed her on schedule. They slug it out and Storm uses the power of her ass to take over, but runs into a boot in the corner and gets slammed for two. Storm takes her out of the corner with a backstabber and follows with a northern lights suplex, but Raymond slams her out of the corner in a blown spot and has to stall for time while she remembers her cue, and then misses a flying splash so that Storm can roll her up for the pin at 4:30. OK match, but that finish was all kinds of messed up. *1/2
Kavita Devi v. Dakota Kai
Devi overpowers Kai to start and does a decent ropewalk wristlock, but then she does it again for no reason and slugs away on Kai. Kai comes back with a sunset flip, but misses a dropkick while Devi mostly does the Great Khali method of standing there and swatting aside her opponent. She gets a gorilla slam and then stalls some more before throwing Kai around, as this is clearly Kai wrestling herself. Finally Kai hits a mafia kick in the corner and follows with a double stomp for the pin at 3:47. Devi was just a mannequin for Kai to bounce off of here. ½*
Bianca Belair v. Sage Beckett
Sage wants to clarify that she’s not a witch, she’s a shaman.
Sage overpowers Belair and drops an elbow for two, but Belair gets a dropkick for two. She trips Beckett and gets a big splash for two, then goes to a surfboard, but Beckett fights out with a Bubba Bomb for two. Leg lariat gets two and she hangs Belair in the tree of woe for a running ass attack and then misses a pump splash, allowing tiny Belair to finish with a spear at 5:33. I feel like the physics of that are a tad suspect, but neither of these girls were going anywhere in this anyway. *
Piper Niven v. Santana Garrett
Holy cow, Santana looks like she should be on the main roster challenging for the title tomorrow. I can’t see Piper making it out of developmental with that look, but then Bertha Faye ended up as Women’s champion, so who knows? Garrett works the arm, but gets reversed into a samoan drop, which she escapes. Niven with a bodypress for two and she works a cravat, but misses a charge and gets booted in the corner. Garrett with a tornado DDT for two and she follows with Eat Defeat and a handspring elbow, but Niven splashes her for two. Piper goes up and Santana blocks with a handstand rana for two. Another handspring misses and Piper drops an elbow, and finishes with a Michinoku Driver at 7:09. They JOBBED Santana Garrett? She looked like a bigger star than everyone else in the entire women’s division as it stands! Really good match to close out the show. ***1/4
The booking for this continues to be weird as you’d think Garrett and Beckett would have went onwards, but both lost. Garrett v. Niven was a hell of a match, though, and well worth seeking out.