Tonight, it’s a big time main event, as the Young Bucks defend the ROH World tag team titles against the Motor City Machine Guns!
Let’s watch some wrestling, shall we?
Ring of Honor TV – 8/30/17
We are TAPED from the Cabarrus Arena in Concord, North Carolina! Your hosts are Ian Riccaboni & Colt Cabana.
And we’re starting with the music of Jay White! He and Jonathan Gresham are out for some tag team action. Yay, Gresham! He’s awesome! So is Jay, don’t get me wrong. And what’s that I hear? Why, it’s the music of War Machine! They’re out with their IWGP tag team titles; Gresham/White against War Machine? SOLD! Let’s do it!
Search and Destroy (Jay White & Jonathan Gresham) vs War Machine (Hanson & Rowe)
Tale of the tape shows that White and Gresham are weighing in tonight combined at 375 pounds, which is about 3/4 of a Hanson, so that may be what weighs into their decision to attack before the bell. That doesn’t last very long, as Rowe puts White in one corner while Hanson puts Gresham in the other, and they trade off running splashes before Rowe slams Jay, then slams Gresham on top of Jay, then slams Hanson on top of both. Yikes. They set up for stereo powerbombs, but White & Gresham escape both that and potential powerslams before sending War Machine into each other. Headscissors takeover by Gresham sends Rowe out, then a running forearm by White in the corner on Hanson is followed by a running kick from Gresham. Double dropkicks to Hanson in the corner follow that. White goes to the floor to send Rowe to the barricade while Gresham drops some double sledges on Hanson in the ring. Gresham tries chops now on Hanson, but Hanson is angry, so that’s a bad idea. Camera angle just shows how massive Hanson is compared to Gresham, it’s almost comical. Big palm strike by Hanson drops Gresham, but Jonathan comes back with a dropkick to the knee, tag to White. Snapmare and an elbow from White gets two. He fires at Hanson in the corner with kicks and stomps quite a mudhole. Jay White is so good, guys. Cross-corner whip by White is followed with an uppercut for two. He tries again, but Hanson come out of the corner this time to flatten him with a clothesline. Tag to Rowe, White ducks a clothesline, Rowe over the top on a blind charge in the corner, SHOTGUN KNEES~! by Rowe drop White! Gresham comes in, but he gets caught and tossed like a rag doll on an overhead throw from Rowe. More shots from Rowe on White, as he just clobbers him with a right, Gresham charges but gets caught again and tossed on top of Jay. Gresham and White roll out, Rowe tries a springboard over the top but they slide back in to avoid that, and Gresham nails Hanson in the corner with a dropkick as White flies out with a tope onto Rowe! Can they pull off the upset? Well, the only way to find out is to stick around after we watch these great ads!
We’re back as Hanson has White in one corner and Gresham in the other, and we get a crazy amount of Forever clotheslines, as Hanson turns each guy into mush. Gresham, as usual, does an amazing job selling like he’s been destroyed. Cross-corner whip sends Gresham into White, and Hanson follows that with a splash that drops both guys to a sitting position, and a Bronco Buster follows. Tag to Rowe, Hanson puts White on his shoulders, Fireman’s Carry into the backbreaker from Rowe pretty much misses completely, but eh. Match has been okay, so we’ll forgive. Hanson goes up and Rowe sets up White for a powerbomb, but White fires rights to escape as Gresham grabs Hanson by the beard on the top rope. Gresham ‘ranas Hanson off the top as Rowe finally manages to powerbomb Jay, but those punches took their toll and Gresham charges….but gets tossed a bit by War Machine before settling into the arms of Rowe as Hanson springs off the second rope with a clothesline into a German by Rowe! That was cool! They turn their attention back to White and set up for Fallout, but Gresham manages to yank Hanson off the top to the floor! White escapes Rowe and slams him, Gresham back in and he jumps on White’s back, yelling “Get him Jay!” Hee! Unfortunately for them, Rowe gets back up and goes for a double Death Valley Driver, but both guys manage to escape that certain death, kick by Gresham and he attempts an Irish whip, Rowe puts on the brakes, so Gresham turns it into an armwringer Stunner! White loads Rowe up, enzuigiri (sort of) by Gresham into a Flatliner from White! Deadlift German suplex with a bridge from Jay on Rowe! 1, 2, NO!! That was CLOSE. Great near-fall. Running uppercut by White in the corner, then a running forearm from Gresham, but Hanson is back in and he levels White with a kick. Dropkick from Gresham sends Hanson to the corner, but the charge is met with a Whoopie Cushion from the big man. Hanson turns his attention to White, Jay shoots him off, Hanson cartwheels past the back body drop attempt, but White still catches him with a big uranage! White on Rowe now and he fires a right, but Rowe is….uh….he’s ROWE-ING UP! He blocks the right with his face, then Gresham tries his luck, same result. Rowe goes crazy on them now, slapping White away before tossing Gresham to the mat and almost sending his head into the third row with a knee strike. Yee-ouch. Knee to the gut of White, Jay comes back with a dropkick on Rowe, Hanson back in, White sends him to the corner, Hanson goes upside-down and to the apron. Forearm from Hanson takes care of Jay, but Gresham comes across with a dropkick to the leg that sends Hanson to the floor. This is tremendous. Gresham runs the ropes and ducks clothesline attempts from Rowe, Lionsault knocks Rowe down, and Gresham smoothly transitions into a beautiful tope onto Hanson! Awesome. White loads Rowe up, brainbuster by Jay as Gresham goes to the top, 450 splash from Gresham! 1, 2, NO!!!! I TOTALLY bought that one. Crowd correctly thinks this is awesome. White charges Rowe but gets tossed outside, Gresham charges and eats an elbow as Hanson slides back in, and War Machine is THROUGH fucking around here. They toss Gresham off the ropes, and the pop-up powerslam (they call it ‘Thor’s Hammer’, but I have fondly nicknamed it ‘The Cheeseburger Killer’) ends Gresham and one hell of a match. (War Machine over Search & Destroy, pinfall, 10:58)
WORTH WATCHING? – That sucker was fantastic. YES, watch it. They went the expected way when you have a team that outweighed the other by more than 200 pounds, but between the big power spots by War Machine, the cohesion of White and Gresham created a few VERY believable near-falls, something that can be relatively difficult to do in the context of this type of match. Gresham and White are in no way hurt by the loss, and War Machine gets a win in a nice match that made them look like killers. I mean, there were a few bits of sloppy work, but all 4 of these guys are great wrestlers and when you put that combination in the ring, you’re probably going to get a match worth watching. This was great. Great.
Post-match, the crowd chants for War Machine as they pose with their belts while we watch some replays. Then, after they leave the ring, Punishment Martinez comes in and destroys Jay White with the chokeslam, because that’s what he does. In a funny visual, you can see War Machine just walking back up the aisle as White gets killed. Perhaps there’ll be some funny visuals in the following great ads!
We’re back with Caprice Coleman. “Where’s my stuff?” Where’s the stuff he ordered? Is this chair his Bishop’s chair? Who does he have to talk to to get his stuff? He corners the ring crew to ask them, wanting to know where his pool pit and stained glass windows are! He calls them a bunch of ‘jive-turkeys’ and says he sent in his request 4 weeks ago, and they have one week to get him his stuff! Coleman’s Pool Pit, the place where you find out the truth and the truth sets you free! Yeah, this earns about 50 ‘whatevers’ in a row from me as I hope we forget it soon.
Back to the announcers, and we’ve been joined by QT Marshal! He tells us that he’s a comic-con AWARD-WINNING documentary filmmaker! Wow! I hate him already! Then he calls himself ‘God’s Gift’ and I somehow hate him even more! Amazing!
Let’s go back to last week, as the Kingdom hit Jay Briscoe with a triple conchairto. We’re told that he’s been diagnosed with a concussion and ruled out of next week’s 6-man tag team main event, so now it’ll be Bully Ray and Mark against Cody and Adam Page.
Hey, this looks like we might have a match, as we hear the music of Shane Taylor! We see that a few weeks ago, Taylor knocked the shit outta Josh Woods, and that isn’t gonna stand. And there’s the music of Josh “The Goods” Woods! He’s out and he’s ready to fight!
Josh “The Goods” Woods vs Shane Taylor
No Code of Honor. Woods charges at the outset with a big flying knee at Taylor, then backs him into the corner with shots. Taylor has lost a bunch of weight, noted by the commentators; he’s not exactly a luchador, but it is noticeable. He tries to fire back at Josh, but Woods sends him to the floor with a kick to the head. Josh chases and eats a knee to the gut and a forearm, but he’s right back up and they start trading right forearms, Taylor ends that by tossing Woods to the barricade. And that’ll toss us right into a break to watch some great ads!
We’re back as Shane tosses Jay into the corner, Taylor with a blind cha-well, we’ll call it a blind stroll and he eats some boot. Again, but Taylor clobbers him with a clothesline in the corner right after to maintain control. Shane throws Josh into the post, then puts him in a surfboard before using his foot to send him face-first into the buckle. Cool. Stomps from Taylor, and he gets a running start before smashing the buckle above Josh’s head with his ass. Woods is kind enough to sell it for him and that gets one. Taylor lays in the badmouth on Woods, Woods fires an elbow but misses a wild clothesline and that allows Shane to hit a Saito suplex for two. Woods fights up and we get a slugfest, won by Josh with a knee and a forearm. Running knee in the corner from Josh sets up a Fireman’s Carry in an impressive visual, but Shane elbows out and just HAMMERS him with a lariat! That only gets one, though. Shane chokes Josh on the mat, but Woods triangles him and goes for a cross-armbreaker from that, gets it! Taylor is forced to roll him over for two to break the hold. Kick and (stop me if you’ve heard this one before) knee from Woods, and he puts Taylor into an anklelock. Shane reaches for the ropes, so Woods deadlifts him for a German suplex! That was awesome! 1, 2, NO! Woods goes for a kick, but Shane catches the foot and knees him in the face for two. Taylor goes out and gets a chair, with Marshal on commentary cheering him on the whole time, but the ref takes it away and Woods rolls him up for the pin. (Josh “The Goods” Woods over Shane Taylor, pinfall, 6:34)
WORTH WATCHING? – Woods is still green as grass, but there’s some potential there. Regardless of that, though, this wasn’t good and NO, you shouldn’t watch it. First off, Woods uses his knee a bit too much, but Taylor didn’t sell any of the submissions past their application and that made them look weak. Combine that with Woods still looking awkward out there plus a shitty finish stolen from every Raw that has aired in the last 5 or so years, and I’m pretty confident that this is six and a half minutes you can use for pretty much anything else.
Post-match, Woods celebrates and then turns around to get leveled by a clothesline from Taylor, who follows that with a splash as QT has left commentary (Yay!) to direct traffic at ringside (Boo!). He tells Taylor to splash Woods again, then holds him up for Taylor to sock Josh in the face. Marshal hands him an envelope full of money, I suppose, then places the mouth guard of Woods on his limp carcass before leaving the ring.
So, what was all that about? I have NO IDEA!
Ring of Honor, ladies and gentlemen!
Let’s hear from the ROH World tag team champions, the Young Bucks! Confession time: I’m starting to kind of come around on the Bucks, just a LITTLE bit, because their matches with Roppongi & the match with Ricochet and Taguchi were excellent, with good psychology and selling and all that stuff in wrestling that I actually like a bunch. I’m not exactly their biggest fan or anything and they still kind of annoy me, but I’m also more than willing to admit that they are excellent workers. Now that you know that, Bucks, what do you have to say? “The Motor City Machine Guns. The Young Bucks. Two of the most innovative tag teams of the last decade.” But who’s the most successful? Hey Guns, it’s not 2009 any more, bros; it’s 2017, and they run this place! They’re tag team specialists and this is what they do, and they hope that you’re ready for a superkick partay!
Back to the announcers, who tell us that Cody has issued an open challenge for a title match at Death Before Dishonor, and now we know who it will be; for the first time in Ring of Honor, you will see this man, one of the most dangerous men in the world –
It’s Minoru Suzuki! For the first time in Ring of Honor, for the first time in the US in more than two decades, Suzuki will challenge for the ROH World title! Yay!! I’m serious – I love that man. I don’t know if it was the best match in the G-1, but I know that the match that I ended up rewatching the most was Okada/Suzuki, and I’m looking forward to this like you would not believe.
In the back, Cody just saw what we did. He is less than pleased. He tosses the cameraman out of the locker room, probably so he can sit down and see if there’s any products to heal a broken body during the following great ads!
We’re back with Kenny King! “Oh wow. Where do we even start, man?” Kenny was on the Bachelorette, dontcha know? He talks about people stopping him on the street, people at Ring of Honor shows chanting “Get that rose!” gave him a new perspective on life! Reality tv taught him about himself, about self-awareness and focus. And the one thing that he kept coming back to was Ring of Honor, to wrestling, that he hasn’t been performing to his true potential in Ring of Honor! Don’t judge him on what he did, judge him on what he’s about to do! And in that ring in Charlotte, challenging KUSHIDA, that made it crystal clear on what he needed to do, but then the Bullet Club ruined it. He doesn’t know if they think they deserve all the belts in Ring of Honor, but they took away his opportunity! The only way that you can really respect a man is to walk into battle with him; he doesn’t know KUSHIDA, but after that tag match, he knows that they respect each other! So in Las Vegas, in Kenny’s hometown, it’s the biggest match of his career, so he’s going to give it everything he’s got! You’re gonna see the best of Kenny King in Las Vegas!
This…..could work. Kenny did a more than decent job spinning that story, taking what could have been silliness from his stint on TV and instead turning it into a potential character redefinition, and that’s something that may indeed end up a positive. I’m willing to see where this goes.
Now that music, that can only mean that we’re about to see the Motor City Machine Guns! Alex Shelley and Chris Sabin make their way out to the ring, determined to take the tag titles they’ve never won. “Suuuuupppppeerrrrkiiiiiiicccckkkk Partay!” Well, here comes the Jacksons, as the Young Bucks make their way out. Let’s see what happens, shall we? And we shall, after we watch these great ads!
The Young Bucks (c) (Matt & Nick Jackson) vs The Motor City Machine Guns (Alex Shelley & Chris Sabin) – Ring of Honor World tag team title match
Sabin and Nick will start us off. Nick with a side headlock, Sabin escapes with a wristlock, Nick reverses that into one of his own. Sabin armdrags out, so Nick armdrags him in response. Nick invites him to apply oral pressure to his gential region, so Chris shoves him into the Bucks’ corner and Matt tags in. Shelley comes in and shoves Matt, and now all 4 guys are in the ring; are you thinking what I’m thinking? Donnybrook, bay-bay! They pair off and fire away at each other, and the Jacksons back the Guns into opposite corners. They whip the Guns at each other, Do-si-do by the Guns into clotheslines in the corners, the Bucks move and try the same thing, the Guns avoid that and complete the move this time, dropping the Bucks. Neato! The Guns toss the Bucks to the floor, and Sabin goes through Shelley’s legs on the ropes with a tope! Sabin tosses Matt back in and the Guns double-team, cross-corner whip on Matt, Alex sends Sabin at Matt, Matt backdrops him to the ropes but can’t avoid a charging Alex Shelley. Nick back in and he attacks, but that doesn’t go very well. Shelley puts Nick on the shoulders of Matt, who’s kneeling, and Sabin comes off the top with a missile dropkick into a Sabin double-flatliner on both of the Bucks. Sabin covers for two. Chris with an armbar on Matt, tag to Shelley. They send Matt to the corner, Sabin with a running forearm, then he crouches down so Shelley can hit a jumping forearm on Matt. Sabin dives at Matt in the corner, but Matt moves and Chris gets clobbered with a kick from Nick on the apron. Shelley elbows Matt and comes off the ropes, but Nick is back in and they drop Shelley with a double elbow. Wheelbarrow by Matt holds him up for a thrust kick from Nick, then the double team neckbreaker hits Alex. Sabin back up on the apron, but that’s not going to go well for him, as Matt holds him in the headscissors while Nick hits a running kick to send him back to the floor. The Guns regroup on the outside, but Matt hits a dropkick through the ropes, then Nick flies out over the top of him with a somersault tope. Shelley tossed back in with Matt now, and Matt rams him into Nick’s boot before tagging in his brother. Nick lays in some trashtalk, paintbrushing Alex’s face before yelling at him that they’re “not Generation Me anymore, Shelley!” Well, all it takes is the mere mention of TNA and Alex Shelley is ready to spit some hot fire! He’s up and firing away at Nick with rights, but he goes for a spinning fist and Nick drops him with a spinkick to the head. He goes for a Sharpshooter, Sabin in, but so is Matt and we’ve got stereo Sharpshooters by the Bucks! They drag the Guns back to the middle and too sweet each other, and we can only hope that our final ad break will also be too sweet with great ads!
We’re back with the Bucks double-teaming Shelley and sending him to the corner. Matt charges but gets sent to the apron, he grabs Alex from there and tries to hold him in place, Nick goes for a flying knee in the corner, but Shelley moves and Matt takes it full-force! Nick goes after Shelley, but gets Flatlinered into the buckle, and it’s tags on both sides. Matt still holding his mouth from the knee as he comes in, so Sabin runs right past him and dropkicks Nick in the knees to send him to the floor, then nails Matt on a blind charge with a boot before hitting a face-first running enzuigiri on Matt. Down the line kick on Nick, Sabin goes up, missile dropkick on Matt! Tope onto Nick on the floor! Sabin back in now and he charges Matt in the corner, elbow by Matt. Shelley tries and it’s boot by Matt to stop that. Matt springs up but Sabin crotches him as Nick comes back in to go after Shelley, Sabin with a running forearm to Nick as Alex hits a baseball slide on Matt in the Tree of Woe. Chris sends Nick at Alex, overhead belly-to-belly by Shelley sends Nick into Matt! Delayed dropkick by Sabin on Matt as Shelley slingshots over the top with a crossbody to Nick on the floor! Double kick to the head on Matt in the corner and the Guns go for Skull and Bones, but Nick recovers enough to grab Alex and Matt backslides Sabin for two. Sabin gets sent into Shelley by Matt, who then hits a wheelbarrow facebuster on Chris! Both guys are down and crawling for the tag, Matt makes it! Here comes Nick! Kick to Sabin! Kick to Shelley! Elbow to Sabin! Elbow to Shelley! Spinkick to Sabin! Running knee to the face of Shelley in the corner! Clothesline/Bulldog combo, to Sabin & Shelley respectively, and Nick Jackson rules this ring! Nick goes to the apron, shoulder to the gut of Chris, springboard facebuster by Nick on Sabin, then a moonsault to Alex on the floor. Nick goes up now, Swanton attempt but Sabin moves, sunset flip by Nick but Sabin escapes and Shelley comes off with a crazy high crossbody onto Nick! Matt back in as it’s breaking down again, and Matt makes a go of it 2v1 before the numbers catch up and the Guns destroy him with a kick to the knee and chinlock-assisted dropkick. Nick makes it back in and the Bucks destroy the Guns with superkicks, but the Guns do manage to get a few of their own, and a double superkick by the Bucks bounces Sabin into the ropes and he comes off with a double clothesline that drops both the Bucks as all 4 guys are down. Everyone tries to get to their feet…..but Daniels and Kaz run in and destroy everyone for the DQ. Sure. (The Young Bucks vs The Motor City Machine Guns, No Contest, 10:06)
WORTH WATCHING? – This one’s a toughie, because the match itself was fine. It moved quick and was never boring, but I also didn’t buy any possible way that the Guns were walking out with the belts, and that type of fait accompli made it difficult to suspend my disbelief in the match. The ending was whatever, because if they’re going to go with a 3-team feud, why not go with the guys who put on one of the best ladder matches you’re ever going to watch? All of them work well together. I’ll go with a YES, because the middle of the match was really fun to watch, and it overcame the ending just enough, but if you skip, you’re not missing much.
Post-match, Daniels and Kaz toss the Bucks and shove the ref down, before beating on Shelley on the outside. Kaz shoves down a plant, ahem, a fan in the front row before they take their leave as we’re reminded that next week, it’ll be Bully Ray/Mark Briscoe vs Cody Rhodes/Adam Page in our main event! And that’ll take us out for ROH TV this week.
FINAL THOUGHT FOR THE WEEK: A great opening tag match was really our highlight this week. We laid the groundwork for Death Before Dishonor a bit, with segments for the King/KUSHIDA TV title match & the Cody/Suzuki World title match, along with the main event probably leading to a 3-way at the PPV, which I’m fine with. Woods/Taylor was a waste, but at least some of the segments that weren’t wrestling were used to give us some foundation for the stories at the PPV, so I was fine with them. The main was what it was, mostly skippable but at least the match was pretty good up until the finish. Thumbs very much in the middle for ROH TV this week.
Should you wish to watch it, you can do so on the ROH website or at this link on the Fite TV website: https://www.fite.tv/watch/roh-wrestling-episode-310/2l6qb/
As always, thanks for reading this thing I wrote,
@MrSoze on Twitter