The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–09.13.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – September 13 1993

– Live from New York.

– Your hosts are Vince, Bobby and Macho.

WWF World tag titles: The Steiner Brothers v. The Quebecers

This is Province of Quebec rules: Titles change hands on a DQ or countout, top rope moves are illegal, throwing someone over the top rope is illegal, and piledrivers are banned. This has to be a bizarre rib on someone. And who would be stupid enough to actually agree to rules that stacked against them? This is actually the Quebecers’ debut on RAW, and Johnny Polo’s debut as their manager. Rick powerslams Jacques and clotheslines him out of the ring to start, and that brings Pierre in. So Rick powerslams him for two. Scott comes in with a butterfly bomb for two and goes to an armbar, but misses a blind charge. That allows Pierre to get a clothesline from the middle rope for two and pound Scott down. That gets two. Scott comes back with a backdrop and fights off a double team, but Rick comes in and almost does a piledriver. Scott shouts him down and we take a break. Back with Rick sending Jacques to the floor (through the middle rope, of course), and Scott taking Pierre down with a headlock. Pierre clotheslines him and uses the clubbing forearms, but Scott gets an overhead suplex for two. He goes to a half-crab, but Jacques breaks it up, so Rick comes in with his own. They fight on the middle rope and Rick gets a front suplex on Pierre, and the Quebecers have a collision and bail. They huddle for a conference with Johnny Polo and we take a break. Back with Jacques hitting Scott with a clothesline, and the Quebecers begin the double-teaming. Jacques slams Pierre onto Scott, and then Pierre drops Jacques on him for two. Quebecers drop Scott on the top rope and stomp him down in the corner. High-low clothesline gets two, and Pierre hits the chinlock. Pump splash gets two. Jacques with a running clothesline for two. Pierre cuts off the tag and Jacques backdrops him onto Scott, but Jacques runs into a boot in the corner. Scott with a DDT and it’s looking like the hot tag, but Pierre goads Rick into the ring and they toss Scott. Back in, Jacques gets an Alabama Slam into a boston crab, and Pierre follows with a middle rope legdrop, as they bust out every crazy double-team in their arsenal. Scott fights over and they cut off the tag AGAIN, but he gets a double-clothesline and it’s finally hot tag Rick. Scott manages to hit Pierre with a Frankensteiner for two, but Rick steals the hockey stick from Johnny Polo. Scott gets it and hits Jacques with it, and we have NEW tag team champions at 17:41. Really weak finish, but the Steiners had no one to blame but themselves. Slow start, but once the Quebecers took over with all the nutty double-teams, it was a near-classic tag match. ***3/4

Mr. Perfect v. Tony Devito

DeVito actually pounds away on Perfect to start, but he stops to gloat on the floor and gets chased back to the dressing room as a result. Perfect hauls him back in and hits an Axe clothesline out of the corner and follows with an atomic drop. They begin hyping a Perfect-Diesel feud, which would have been a trainwreck and a half had Perfect not taken off soon after this. Perfect dropkicks DeVito out of the ring and then clubs him back in from the apron. And NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX at 2:45.

Meanwhile, at Summerslam, Ludvig Borga comes up to Lex Luger after his main event choke and challenges him. Boy, they’re sure setting up some shitty feuds for the fall. Don’t think that one ever paid off either.

Razor Ramon v. The Executioner

I don’t get why Barry Hardy would work under a mask here. Is he trying to protect his image or something? Razor tosses him around to start, but they head to the floor and Razor gets sent into the stairs. Man, he’s going soft already. Back in, Executioner stomps him down, but Ramon casually swats him away and follows with a chokeslam, then the fallaway slam and abdominal stretch. Next crappy feud for the Bad Guy: IRS. I guess that’s why IRS went over the Kid at Summerslam. Backdrop suplex off the top finishes at 2:32. I pity anyone going to a WWF house show in the fall of 1993. Actually, I went to a couple of them, come to think of it, and they sucked as much as I’m thinking.

The Quebecers return to showcase their EPIC theme song and celebrate their title win earlier in the night. Vince is all “They at least deserve a singles match next week!” and so it’s Scott v. Pierre next week, and Scott has to win in order to get another title shot.

Doink the Clown v. Rich Myers

Doink throws buckets of confetti (rather than water or, I dunno, fish entrails) into the crowd, beginning the face turn that obliterated the character and drove Matt Borne out of the promotion. Doink suplexes Myers and drops an elbow, then follows with a german suplex. Then on the phone, Crush joins us talking about his recovery, but he HANGS UP ON THE MACHO MAN. That’s cold. Doink finishes with the Whoopie Cushion at 2:05. Back from the break, Bobby goes over to egg on Doink’s monkey-shines, but Doink turns on him and dumps water on him. And there you go, that’s when the character officially became lame and I lost interest. Doink returns again after another break and finds a new bucket, but pours more confetti on the fans instead, just in case we didn’t get the point the first time.  (Oh hey, 2017 Scott popping in here to note that Rich Myers was actually the son of Jim Myers, better known as George “The Animal” Steele!) 

Next week: Bam Bam Bigelow, Mr. Perfect, IRS, Bret Hart, and Scott Steiner v. Pierre!