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The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–08.09.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – August 9 1993

– Taped from Alexandria, NY.

– Your hosts are Vince, Bobby & Macho.

Tatanka v. Mr. Hughes

Tatanka was still undefeated and Hughes was still being pushed, so this is just begging for the wussiest of wussy non-finishes to “protect” both guys. Hughes pounds away in the corner, but misses the blind charge and gets rolled up for two. Tatanka throws chops and gets nowhere, but manages a bodypress for two. Hughes comes back with his glacial offense and clotheslines Tatanka down as we take a break. Back with, SURPRISE, Hughes holding a chinlock. Tatanka makes the PISSED OFF RACIAL STEREOTYPE COMEBACK, but Hughes tosses him and slams him on the floor. Tatanka backdrops him and beats the count back in at 5:00. Yeah, that’s about what I was expecting. “Well this was not much of a wrestling match at all!” declares Vince. Yup. 1/2*

– Holy fucking shitballs, go call your grandmother and slap her out of bed, because it’s PART TWO of the Lex Luger Story. This time around: College. To show you the awesome subtlety involved here, it’s a casual sit-down interview and he’s still draped in the American flag. He LOVES America. Even his steroids are red, white and blue.

The Bushwackers and The Macho Midget v. The Brooklyn Brawler, Blake Beverly & Little Louie

Notable on commentary: The Quebecers are debuting on All-American and should thus be gracing RAW soon. Macho Midget’s creepy Savage mask is like something out of the Saw movies. Usual midget shenanigans to start and Blake gets dominated by the Bushwackers. I’m sure he’s glad that he stuck around after Wayne Bloom left. Although it’s kind of weird because usually in a case like this they come up with some stupid gimmick for the leftover guy and try to push him as a single. In this case, he was just Blake Beverly with no mention of what happened to his “brother”. Anyway, Butch gets a hot tag and they destroy the Brawler and let Macho Midget get the pin on him at 6:25. So yes, Steve Lombardi has indeed jobbed to a midget. This was about as god-awful as the people involved would suggest. -**

– What’s even more exciting than a Lex Luger interview? A Lex Luger CONTRACT SIGNING. Jim Cornette officially debuts as Yokozuna’s manager here. So they sign the contract, but then Cornette is all “Ha! You only get one shot at the title!” No attack from Yokozuna, surprisingly enough.

Razor Ramon v. Dan Dubiel

Razor hiptosses him and follows with a fallaway slam, then the abdominal stretch into the backdrop suplex. Razor’s Edge ends it at 2:00.

The Heavenly Bodies v. Bobby Who & Bobby Who Cares

Nice double-team with Del Ray superkicking Who into a DDT from Pritchard. Over to the other jobber and Del Ray gets a hurricane DDT and another double-team. Double-suplex and Del Ray finishes with a moonsault press at 2:21.

Next week: Giant Gonzalez speaks! Ludvig Borga! 1-2-3 Kid v. Ted Dibiase! Men on a Mission! IRS v. Tito Santana! Sounds pretty damn good, actually, unlike the giant pile of crap that was this week’s show.