The SmarK Rant for WWE Network Old School–Boston Garden 10.04.86

The SmarK Rant for Boston Garden – October 4 1986

– Taped from Boston

– Your hosts are Gorilla & Mean Gene

Mr. X v. Rudy Diamond

Rudy is apparently the hometown jobber and X is probably Danny Davis as usual. They trade armbars while Gorilla ponders putting “Parts Unknown” on immigration forms when travelling to Canada. Diamond gets a hiptoss and goes with the headlock, and X bails to try and figure out the awesome offensive onslaught that is Rudy Diamond. Back in, X wins a wristlock battle, but Diamond takes him into the corner to break free. X pounds him down and gets an axehandle off the middle rope, but misses a legdrop. Luckily he comes back with a chinlock to keep up the blistering pace. Diamond fights up with a headbutt and drops an elbow for two. And now it’s his turn to work on the headlock, but X comes back with a nice hooking clothesline to finish at 7:18. I see bright things in the future for Mr. X! Just there to fill time, I guess. *

Cowboy Bob Orton v. Pedro Morales

Pedro overpowers Bob and the complaints about hairpulling start right away. And the ref believes him! Pedro grabs a headlock and powers him down for two, then follows with atomic drop into the corner, which sends Orton to the floor. That gives us some stalling time, allowing Orton to sneak back in and walk right into an attack from Pedro. Orton’s selling is great here, as he takes a bump and lands facefirst on the middle turnbuckle before bailing. He gets up on the apron and Pedro socks him right back down again, and into the railing. Orton decides to stick with the classics and chokes Pedro out with a piece of cable, then throws elbows on the apron and chokes him out in the ring as well. We hit the chinlock and a suplex gets two. Pump splash gets two. Another one hits knee, and Morales comes back with a backdrop and a small package for two. Blind charge misses in dramatic fashion, however, and the superplex looks to finish, but Pedro fights him off and gets a sunset flip for two. Bob reverses and grabs the tights for the pin at 10:48. Had he not stopped to dedicate the superplex to Gorilla, he probably would have won it that way, but I guess as long as you win. Nothing exciting but the crowd heat was pretty good. **

Intercontinental title: Randy Savage v. George Steele

Savage lets his music run out and then charges in to attack the confused Animal, but Steele fights back and tosses Macho. He stops to chew up the turnbuckle, which allows Savage to choke him down with the robe and then head up with a flying axehandle. More choking, but Steele drags him out and uses the robe to choke him down on the floor. He gets too wrapped up in it, however, and Savage heads back in to beat the count at 3:27. This was no DQ, but not “no sucking”, apparently. DUD

John Studd, King Kong Bundy & Bobby Heenan v. The Big Machine, Super Machine & Piper Machine

Quite the mysterious disguise there. Bundy misses an avalanche on Super Machine to start, and Studd comes in against Big Machine. That goes nowhere for him, so Piper Machine comes in (after flashing his mask) and gets a sunset flip for two. It turns into a brawl and Piper goes after Heenan, but can’t quite reach him on the apron. Studd attacks from behind, but Piper gives him the eyepoke and goes after poor Bobby again, which allows Studd to attack from behind and start working on Piper’s bad leg. Heenan comes in to try and work on the leg, but Piper shrugs him off, forcing Bobby to tag out to Studd again. Studd drops an elbow for two as Piper is Ricky Morton Machine. Bundy pounds him down and tries for the mask (um, why?), and once again Heenan’s attempts to contribute are fruitless. Bundy gets a splash for two. Studd comes in and Piper pokes him in the eye and makes the hot tag to Big Machine, but he quickly gets beat down in the corner and worked over by Bundy. Back to Piper and he gets clobbered again, but pulls off the mask and makes the comeback. Well now the secret’s out. And he SLAMS STUDD. Holy crap. That finishes at 9:50. All punches and kicks but Piper and Heenan made it fun. **

The Islanders v. Mr. X & Jimmy Jack Funk

Geez, poor X has to work twice? How many no-shows WERE there that night? The Islanders easily evade the offense of the heels and Funk gets dumped by Haku, giving us some stalling. Back in, the Islanders work X over in the corner until he tags out to Funk, and he too gets dominated. Backdrop from Tama and a rollup gets two. Funk comes back and chokes Tama down, and a backbreaker gets two. X hits the chinlock and Funk gets a neckbreaker for two. Tama comes back with a suplex, but it’s the false tag. X and Funk double-team Tama, but he comes back with a clothesline and it’s hot tag Haku. Slam on X gets two. Flying splash finishes at 12:03. Moving on. *

Sika v. Jerry Allen

I’m wondering if Allen, with his permed hair and moustache, was the WWF’s attempt to create their own Magnum TA. Sika slugs him down to start and chokes away, then goes to the chinlock right away. Slam and choking follow while The Wizard cuts a promo at ringside. Sika rakes the back and it’s stall stall stall. Allen comes back with a dropkick, but Sika headbutts him for the pin at 6:20. Just awful. -**

Harley Race v. Tito Santana

Race is of course newly repackaged as the King at this point. He misses a headbutt and Tito slugs back. Race slugs away on the ropes, but can’t piledrive Tito. Tito fires back in the corner and Race takes a funny bump onto the steps and slides down them. Now that’s creative. Back in, that gets two. Tito goes to a facelock, but Race runs him into the corner and then drops a knee. Another try at the piledriver succeeds this time, but a headbutt attempt hits Tito’s elbow. Tito fights back and works on the leg, but Race fights him off. He chokes away in the corner, but Tito fights up and puts him down with a forearm shot. He rams Race and Heenan’s heads together, but Race goes low and follows with an atomic drop. The longer this goes the more I sense that this is the main event, which must have been fun for the people who paid for this shitty show. Race slowly pounds away in the corner and gets a backdrop suplex, but Tito gets his shoulder up first and gets the pin at 12:04. Slow, dull and lethargic. **

The Pulse

Nothing to see here.