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The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–06.28.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – June 28 1993

– It’s the NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS, back when you could do that concept and still only need three matches.

– Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY.

Intercontinental title: Shawn Michaels v. Kamala

Kevin Nash now has a name — Diesel. Shawn stalls to start, but Kamala throws chops at him, so he bails out of the ring and gets some advice from Diesel. That advice: “Fake a knee injury and vacate the title.” That’s probably pretty close to the truth, now that I think about it. Back in, Shawn jumps into a bearhug and we take a break. Back with Kamala missing a blind charge and hurting his knee, which allows Shawn to go to work on it. Kamala doing a normal match with a heat segment and everything? Really? He shoves Shawn off and into the corner, then makes the comeback with chops and tosses him. Back in for the double chop and big fat splash, but once again he can’t figure out the pinfall mechanism. This gives Diesel a chance to mouth off at Kamala, and Shawn finishes with the superkick at 8:48. This was…actually not a terrible match. Not a Shawn classic or anything, but it was a regular wrestling match where Kamala got the heat and made the comeback and people cared and everything. **1/2

Yokozuna comes out for a special interview in lieu of a title defense tonight. Vince McMahon notes that whenever America seems to be most down, someone steps up and hits a home run. Well, not so much with the eventual result of the bodyslam challenge. It was more like a solid double where the team paid all the fans to cheer and bribed the outfielder not to throw it in time to make the out. And then dubbed over the tape of the show with fans who cheered louder because the original cheering wasn’t loud enough. And then edited the double to make it look like a triple. And Yokozuna TALKS. This is truly a historic show.

The Smoking Gunns v. Iron Mike Sharpe & Barry Horowitz

Even the jobbers are all-stars! Billy hiptosses and dropkicks everything in sight, and it’s over to Bart for a criss-cross with Iron Mike. Mike puts his head down and Bart cradles for two, but Barry breaks it up. Bart controls him with armdrags, but Horowitz comes back with a northern lights suplex for two. Sharpe come in for the double-team, but Bart puts Horowitz down with a forearm and it’s hot tag Billy. More dropkicks! Bart comes back in with a body vice, and Billy comes off the top with something resembling an inverted DDT for the pin at 4:28. That’s a pretty cool finisher, but I can’t really figure out what it’s supposed to be accomplishing. No matter, I appreciate the visual flash.

Money Inc. joins us to whine about losing the belts to the Steiner Brothers, but Ted Dibiase deflects the discussion over to “Razor Jabrone, I mean Ramon.” Basically he’s an embarrassment to the heel side of the locker room, and even worse Ramon lost $10,000, which is why Money Inc. is so upset about it. I never made that connection before, actually. And poof, instant face turn for Razor, as the crowd chants openly for Ramon now.

Adam Bomb v. PJ Walker

Between the jobber and the manager, there’s some impressive future ECW star power on display. Bomb pounds away and hits a sideslam while Johnny Polo does running commentary from the floor, and Bomb tosses Walker for some mocking from Polo. Back in, the slingshot clothesline and powerbomb (Atom Smasher) finish at 2:13. That’s a much better name than the Meltdown, actually.

Crush v. Bastion Booger

Booger pounds away on the ropes, but Crush tries a samoan drop to no avail. Booger keeps pounding, but Crush gets a terrible-looking backdrop. He dropkicks Booger out of the ring, but gets shoved into the post and splashed. Booger pounds away on the apron, but Crush fights his way back in, so Booger chokes him out on the ropes. And we go to the bearhug. What exactly is “The original Hawaiian punch” supposed to mean? There wasn’t anyone else claiming to be a Hawaiian wrestler at that point, but Crush was hardly the first one anyway. And the people who made the Hawaiian Punch drink were the original Hawaiian Punch in the first place. I just don’t get it. Anyway, Crush slams Booger 3 times and pins him at 5:50. Clearly they were setting up Crush to be The Guy, so I’d be curious to know at what point they called the audible and had Luger get the push instead.

Next week: 1-2-3 Kid, Bam Bam Bigelow and Mr. Perfect! Plus people try to slam Yokozuna and someone succeeds!