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The SmarK Rant for NXT–07.04.12

The SmarK Rant for NXT – 07.04.12

Taped from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Jim Ross & Byron Saxton

Sofia Cortez v. Paige

Astonishingly, Paige is Already In The Ring here. Cortez is Ivelisse (but blonde) so you can see how they’d have bet on her instead. Paige actually gets a fired up comeback pretty quick, slugging away in the corner before Cortez cuts her off with a dropkick for two. Saxton apparently likes to call Sofia the “spicy chipotle of NXT”. Not to her face, I hope. Cortez finishes with a wheelbarrow DDT at 2:20. This was fine. *1/2

Camacho v. Seth Rollins

Thankfully Camacho is doing much better for himself these days in New Japan as Tanga Roa, because you KNOW that the Japanese crowds would go nuts for Haku Jr. WWE officials are said to be very high on Seth Rollins’ potential, according to JR. That’s an understatement. Seth slugs away but runs into an elbow, then comes back with fists of fury in the corner while flailing around like a spazzoid. Glad he dropped that aspect of his early character. He misses a charge and Camacho gets two. Camacho with a backdrop suplex for two and he chokes away. Seth takes him into the turnbuckle to make the comeback, but gets distracted by Hunico and Camacho lays him out. Heel miscommunication follows and the Blackout finishes at 4:30. They were beyond being on different pages and right into different books here, as this was really dull and sloppy. * The thugs double-team Rollins until Bo Dallas makes the save.

Corey Graves & Jake Carter v. CJ Parker & Nick Rogers

Jake Carter was notable for being the son of Big Van Vader, which JR readily admits. So why did they change his damn name then? CJ gets double-teamed in the heel corner to start, but he makes his own comeback against Graves with a backdrop before making a tag to Rogers. Rogers quickly gets hit with a spinebuster like a geek and the heels finish him with a double team neckbreaker at 2:22. No idea who Nick Rogers was, but I assume he disappeared because he doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page. Jake Carter was fired in 2013 and hasn’t been seen in the business since. Graves is doing OK for himself. ½*

Meanwhile, Kassius Ohno enjoys the infliction of pain.

Meanwhile, Bray Wyatt continues his spooky introduction promos, as we catch glimpses of Luke Harper in his audience. He finally debuts next week!

Kassius Ohno v. Mike Dalton

Dalton, Already In The Ring, would quickly get repackaged as Tyler Breeze. A rare zoomout of the Full Sail arena here shows just how tiny the building is, as usually they have the lights way down in the audience. Dalton goes after Ohno to start and pounds him on the ropes, but Ohno cuts him off and hits a lariat to take over. Kassius with a cobra clutch, but Dalton escapes and hits a leg lariat for two. Ohno lays him out with the rolling forearm and pins him at 2:30. Not much to this one, but young Mr. Dalton looked good. I mean, he’s a gorgeous supermodel, so of course he looked good. *1/2 Kassius gifts us with a promo afterwards, where he clarifies that he knocks people out, and when they see him coming, they say “Oh no”. Someone should have said “Oh no” to this dumb gimmick.

Derrick Bateman v. Jinder Mahal

BOTH OF THESE MEN WENT ON TO BE WORLD CHAMPIONS. What the fuck, wrestling? Bateman with a Northern Lights suplex for two right away and he clotheslines Mahal to the floor and follows with a tope suicida. Another note about the arena setup here: This was before they had seats beside the ramp, which makes it look surprisingly empty. Also, the amount of people in attendance for this match is drastically increased from the previous match, so obviously the matches are being aired wildly out of order. Back in, Mahal cuts him off with a kneedrop to take over, but Bateman gets a small package for two. Bateman continues his comeback with a flapjack and flipping neckbreaker for two. He sets up for the wacky DDT, but Jinder clings to the ropes like he’s Roman Reigns in a Royal Rumble, then hits a knee to the back and finishes with the REAR CHINLOCK OF DOOM at 4:00. Saxton notes that this gets him one step closer to the ultimate goal: To dominate NXT. Yeah, sure. *

Seth Rollins, Bo Dallas & Tyson Kidd v. Hunico, Camacho & Michael McGillicutty

We’ve suddenly changed commentary teams, with Jim Ross now being joined by William Regal and Chris Russo (?). Even the generic hot girl ring announcer reveals a hidden surprise, as we catch a quick glimpse of her and it’s Summer Rae! Now there was someone miscast. Anyway, this was signed during a commercial break by Dusty Rhodes after the attack earlier and just thrown on her as a main event. Hunico ties up Kidd with a Gory Special and gets two out of that, but Kidd reverses to a rollup for two and works the arm. The Russo guy says something typically dumb and Regal chastises him: “I’ve told you a million times, do not exaggerate!” We take a break and return with Headbanger Botch getting triple-teamed by the Barrio boys, but he makes the tag to Bo Dallas, who is SEVERELY miscast as the fired up babyface. Camacho quickly cuts him off and future tag partner McGillicutty gets two and goes to the chinlock. Hunico dominates while Regal tells a bizarre story about Hunico and Camacho meeting in the barrio when Camacho bit a guy’s nose off. I think that was his father, actually. Hot tag Kidd after a bunch of chinlocks and it’s BONZO GONZO, with Rollins hitting a dive onto the heels, but McGillicutty finishes Kidd with a neckbreaker at 8:30. Does EVERYONE have to have a neckbreaker as a finish? This was pretty dull, dark match-level stuff. *1/2

The Pulse

The show continues to be all over the place at the moment, with no real direction until they start the NXT title tournament, but it’s fun playing “spot the future stars”.