The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–05.31.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – May 31 1993

– Live from New York

– Your hosts are Vince, Macho and Brain.

Intercontinental title: Marty Jannetty v. Bam Bam Bigelow

Marty is managed by Sherri at this point, a storyline that went nowhere as both disappeared again a few weeks later. A catfight between Luna and Sherri allows Bam Bam to sneak in and lay out Marty, then put him down with a shoulderblock. I guess this was the official start of the Bigelow-Luna relationship. Marty comes back and chops away, then goes up with a flying chop for two. Bigelow goes to the eyes and backdrops him, but Marty lands on his feet. Bigelow keeps coming with a bearhug and puts Marty on top, but he fights back with a victory roll and a flying headscissors. Another go at it results in Bigelow hitting him with the electric chair, and we take a break. Back with Bigelow and the chinlock, and he releases and hits a standing dropkick. Avalanche puts Jannetty down for two. Another avalanche hits boot and Marty gets two from that. Faceplant gets two. Superkick and two clotheslines get two. Bam Bam recovers and hits a butterfly bomb into a backbreaker, but he stops to go after Sherri and falls out of the ring. Marty baseball slides him into the railing and follows with a flying bodypress to the floor, but Bam Bam tosses him back in and then fails to beat the count at 9:08. That’s a pretty weak win, but then it’s not like Marty was going to mean anything either way. ***

Sherri returns and she wants Luna RIGHT NOW, but instead she gets Bam Bam and a beating. Tatanka makes the save.

The Steiner Brothers v. Rich Myers & The Executioner

Rick throws the Executioner around and gets a backbreaker, then follows with a Steinerline. Over to Myers, and Rick runs him into the corner in short order. Scott comes in and ragdolls him with an overhead suplex. More mutilation from Scott with a pumphandle slam and the STEINER SCREWDRIVER!!!!! Holy shit, I’ve never seen Scott just bust it out on a jobber like that. And he SPIKED the poor guy, too. The Steiners finish with the double-team bulldog at 4:03.

Mr. Hughes v. Bert Centeno

Hughes slams Bert across the ring to start, then follows with a powerbomb for two. Stomp stomp choke choke and he finishes with a Bossman slam at 3:00. Nothing to see here.

Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. Mark Thomas

Thomas attacks to start, but gets run into the turnbuckles and slammed. Duggan follows with a kneedrop and pounds away in the corner, then puts him down with a clubbing forearm. Three-point stance finishes at 2:18.

Meanwhile, 1-2-3 Kid just can’t accept Razor Ramon’s newest offer of $5000 to get back into the ring with him. Good for you, Kid, he’s got way more money than that.

Razor Ramon v. Tony Roy

Roy tries for the upset, but Razor puts him down with a clothesline and hammers him in the corner. Well now he’s just pissed Ramon off. Fallaway slam and he works the jobber over on the mat while Macho Man leads a “1-2-3” chant, and again that allows Roy to try for the rollup and get two. Ramon hammers him down again and wraps him up in an abdominal stretch, but he gets distracted by the crowd again. Backdrop suplex and Razor’s Edge finish even with the distractions, at 3:23.

Yokozuna joins us to announce that Hulkamania will DIE. Good call.

Next week: A Steiner and a Smoking Gunn v. A Headshrinker and a Money Inc. member! Sounds about as exciting as this week was.