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The SmarK Rant for WWF Monday Night RAW–05.10.93

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – May 10 1993

– Oh so close now.

– Live from New York. This show has one of the most erratic taping schedules I’ve seen.

– Earlier tonight in the parking lot: In a moment that made the recent RAW DVD, Shawn Michael is cutting a promo and Mr. Perfect attacks him and beats him up on hood of Howard Finkel’s car. Poor Fink, even his car gets no respect.

– Your hosts are Vince, Macho & Brain.

King of the Ring Qualifier: Typhoon v. Bam Bam Bigelow

They do the big collision with no result, so Typhoon slugs away and slams him. He starts working on the arm, but Bam Bam slams him right back and drops an elbow. Typhoon basically no-sells and headbutts him down. Vince notes that “if you’ve never seen a lumberjack match, you’re in for a treat!” I don’t know who among wrestling fans has never seen a lumberjack match, but I assure you it’s not a treat, in case you’re among them. Bigelow runs Typhoon into the post, putting him on the floor, then stomps away as he heads back in. We hit the chinlock, but Typhoon runs him into the corner to break, and we take a break. Back with this piece of shit match still going nowhere, as they slug it out and Typhoon misses a blind charge. Bam Bam hits him with a samoan drop and kills him dead with the headbutt at 5:15. This ended up as a total squash, which I believe would have signaled the end of Fred Ottman’s WWF career because Shockmaster made his debut in WCW about one no-compete clause later. *

Yokozuna v. PJ Walker

Yoko pounds Walker down and flattens him with the belly to belly suplex, and the HULKBUSTER LEGDROP follows. Avalanche and Banzai Drop, and it’s a jellyfish pancake at 2:11. I kind of enjoyed Justin Credible getting completely destroyed, in my small little petty way.

Mr. Perfect v. IRON MIKE SHARPE

Good to see Iron Mike in the RAW era. Perfect tries a headlock to start, then dropkicks Sharpe out of the ring. Back in, Perfect throws chops, but Sharpe rakes the eyes, so Perfect rams him into the corner for the 10 count and chops away. Necksnap, but Sharpe goes back to the eyes and throws his own chops, as they’re letting it all hang out for what should have been a meaningless squash. Sharpe goes down first as Perfect rakes the eyes in retribution, but Sharpe pounds him with the GAUNTLET OF DOOM, but misses a blind charge. Perfect rolls him up for two and they slug it out in the corner, but NOW YOU’RE GONNA SEE A PERFECTPLEX at 4:34. This made me interested to see an actual match between them because you could tell they were having fun with it.

Mr. Hughes v. The Cannonball Kid

Another crack at it for Sean Waltman, and this time he’s got a new name, so he can’t lose! Hughes pounds away and gets a powerslam for two, then puts the Kid down with a tree slam. He whips the Kid into the corner, puts him down with a big boot, and finishes with the Bossman Slam at 2:15.

Intercontinental title, Lumberjack match: Shawn Michaels v. Hacksaw Jim Duggan

Shawn, sadly, has suffered a crippling knee injury and thus can’t defend the title. And this is news? Luckily, he’s just faking, which is revealed thanks to Mr. Perfect. Which, again, I guess isn’t really notable. Duggan quickly attacks and hits him with an Oklahoma Stampede and an elbow for two, then slugs him down. Clothesline follows and he pounds away in the corner, then goes to a rear chinlock on the mat. Shawn fights out of that, but walks into a bearhug, and Duggan slams him for two. They slug it out and Shawn loses that fight, allowing Duggan to go to a front facelock and hammer him down with an elbow. Shawn gets tied up in the ropes and Duggan tosses him over the top, but Perfect again is there to make Shawn’s life miserable. And we take a break. Back with Duggan slamming him into a kneedrop, but it misses and Shawn takes his boot off and nails Duggan out of the ring with it. Back in, Shawn chokes him out and allows the heel lumberjacks to inflict more damage, but Duggan fights up and rams Shawn’s head into the mat. He charges and hits Shawn’s boot, however, and Shawn gets two. He goes to the chinlock, which thankfully this match has avoided until now, but Duggan quickly fights up and clotheslines him. Backdrop follows as Shawn bumps his ass off, and Duggan chokes him out in the corner. Another charge misses again and Shawn goes up, but Duggan catches him with a slam for two. And we’re back to the chinlock. Given the way they’re telegraphing Yoko’s involvement, the finish seems obvious here. Duggan looks to finish with the three-point clothesline, but Shawn bumps to the floor as we take another break. Back with Shawn in control again, but now he misses the charge. Duggan goes after Bigelow, however, and Shawn tosses him into the arms of Yokozuna for the quality beatdown on the floor. Back in, Shawn pins him with one foot, but Perfect breaks it up for the DQ at 13:04. 20 minutes with commercials for THAT finish? Better pace and bumps than last week, for sure. **3/4 The big lumberjack brawl erupts and we’re out.

Next week: Kamala v. Yokozuna! Blake Beverly v. Crush! Oh, and some other stuff happens that you may have heard about before. I won’t spoil it for those who are complete newbies to this era, but next week is a pretty awesome show.