Date: May 19, 2017
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D’Angelo Dinero
We’re back to Orlando as Impact is featuring the X-Division again, this time in an Ultimate X match. Other than that we have the fallout from Alberto El Patron winning the GFW World Title last week, which is now the top story in the promotion as Lashley doesn’t seem to defend his TNA World Title anymore. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of LAX disrespecting the fallen Decay and promising to win the GFW Tag Team Titles. The Veterans of War came out to clean house. We also see a clip of El Patron winning the title.
Preview of Ultimate X.
GFW Tag Team Title Tournament First Round: LAX vs. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr.
So the Impact Tag Team Champions are in this tournament too? Didn’t they learn anything from the WCW/NWA Tag Team Title mess in 1992? It’s a brawl to start with LAX being sent outside for stereo moonsaults from Kid and Jr. Back in and Ortiz stomps on Kid in the corner until a crossbody drops the champ.
A Death Valley Driver connects on Laredo but Jr. tagged himself in so there’s no count. Everything breaks down with Garza getting beaten down, including a few cheap shots from Homicide. It’s nice for him to earn his check like that. Or the pile of office supplies that TNA probably used to pay him.
Santana kicks Garza in the back for two but he tells LAX to stop so he can strip…..and they’re nice enough to let him. After that ridiculous moment, Laredo comes in to speed things up. Santana and Laredo clothesline each other and we take a break. Back with Ortiz getting catapulted into a superkick, followed by a Lionsault for two. Diamante grabs a hurricanrana to take out Garza, leaving Laredo Kid to take a Canadian Destroyer and the Sweet Sweeper for the pin at 12:02.
Rating: B-. Good match here as they continue the solid wrestling around here. I’m not sure when that started happening but I’m hoping they keep it up. Now if only we can unify the titles or just drop one set of them as there’s no reason to have two tag team titles around here (or anywhere for that matter).
JB’s fans mock Josh but there’s no JB in sight.
Magnus comes up to Bruce Prichard in the back and wants to know what’s going on around here. Why is Bruce messing with Magnus’ career? Bruce says Magnus is out of the picture now (so much for rematch clauses) but Magnus promises to do something about it.
Video on Laurel Van Ness bringing in Kongo Kong (who she found…..somewhere) to take care of Braxton Sutter and Allie.
Kongo Kong vs. Braxton Sutter
Sutter ducks the fat man offense to start and slips out of a powerslam. That’s about it for him though as a belly to belly crushes Braxton. Kong shouts a lot as Laurel is playing with lipstick. Braxton avoids the Cannonball in the corner and hammers away but can’t drop the big man. Clotheslines and a bicycle kick don’t put him down so Kongo splashes him in the corner, followed by an Emerald Flowsion for the pin at 3:20.
Rating: D+. Not bad here but Kong continues to be disappointing in the ring. I love what Laurel is doing but if this doesn’t end with Sutter and Allie standing tall, I have no idea what they’re going for here. Those two should be one of the harder pushed acts in the company and instead they’re jobbing in midcard matches. I don’t quite get that.
Post match KM and Sienna come in and beat on Sutter while Allie is forced to watch. Mahabali Shera comes in for the save. Did I mention they’re going to India for tapings soon? Sutter issues a challenge for a tag match next week.
We look back at last week’s X-Division triple threat with Andrew Everett getting the win.
Matt Sydal loves the competition around here.
Video on the history of Ultimate X. This is cool, but it would be nicer if I believed any of these people had a chance of moving up the ladder to the main event scene.
Karen Jarrett makes Eddie Edwards/Alisha vs. Davey Richards/Angelina Love for next week. Magnus walks by and doesn’t pay any attention to her.
We look at EC3 whipping James Storm. That was quite the segment.
Ethan Carter III vs. James Storm
Well that’s…..sudden. Magnus is on commentary. Storm brings in his own strap but opts to clothesline Carter in the corner instead. The referee pulls Storm away so Carter can hit him from behind to really take over. Ethan is smart enough to go after the injured back before switching to the knee for no logical reason.
We hit the chinlock for a bit as the announcers discuss who may or may not be a stooge. A running knee to the back sends Storm outside but James gets in a kick to the side of the head. Magnus won’t let him use the strap though, drawing out Prichard to eject him. Back from a break with Carter working on a half camel clutch and slapping Storm in the back. That has no effect either so Storm grabs a neckbreaker, only to get crotched on top. The TK3 drops Storm and it’s strap time but Carter shoves the referee for the DQ at 14:55.
Rating: D+. I know we’re coming up on a rematch between these two, likely with the strap involved at Slammiversary, but this was an awkward choice for the followup to last week’s angle. Not only was Storm mostly fine but he didn’t seem to really want to hurt Carter. That should have set up a big brawling segment and instead it was mostly a regular match. Not the most logical move here.
Carter whips the referee but Storm makes the save, only to have Magnus come in and beat him down. That’s not cool with Carter so he argues with Magnus. Bruce Prichard comes out again and makes a triple threat for next week. Prichard isn’t done yet as he tells Carter to go find his testicles, earning himself a shove to the mat.
Spud is coming for Swoggle next week.
GFW Women’s Title: Sienna vs. ODB
ODB is challenging. Sienna wastes no time in throwing her to the floor before they trade splashes in the corner. The head shoves into the crotch have Sienna in trouble but the middle rope Thesz press misses. Sienna pounces her for the pin at 2:45. This was nothing.
The announcers bicker until JB comes out, carrying a microphone. JB has hired an attorney and he’s back around here full time. The attorney is Joseph Park, who I believe we established WASN’T A REAL ATTORNEY BECAUSE HE’S ABYSS. JB is back on commentary so Josh bickers with Park, who he calls Abyss. Park: “You get my insides burning just like my aunt’s famous chili.” A challenge is issued for a tag match if Josh can find a partner for Slammiversary. We have to listen to this build for another SIX WEEKS. Josh leaves to find a partner now and JB takes his place.
We look back at Patron winning the title last week.
Patron is happy to have won and praises Magnus’ skill.
X-Division Title: Low Ki vs. Trevor Lee vs. Andrew Everett
Low Ki is defending and this is Ultimate X, basically meaning a ladder match where you have to crawl across ropes instead of climbing in the middle. The champ is in a suit again and kicks away to start but gets sent into the metal structure that holds the cables when he tries to get the belt. Everett scores with the Frankendriver but Lee shoves both of them off the apron and into the barricade.
Back from an early break with Low Ki down, leaving Lee to send Everett into the corner again. Lee throws the champ outside again as the announcers ignore the match to talk about what we’re seeing next week. Everett is alone in the ring so of course he goes with a springboard shooting star press instead of grabbing the title. For some reason Low Ki is up first so Everett dropkicks him down.
Lee throws a chair to knock Everett off the ropes….but it bounces back and hits him in the head too. Low Ki gets back in and punches the chair into Lee’s face, only to eat the standing double stomp. Somehow the champ is up first again and he takes off the jacket to make things even more serious.
Everett ties him up in the structure but here’s Gregory Helms with a super swinging neckbreaker to drop Everett again. Lee stands on Helms’ shoulders and goes for the belt but OF COURSE Low Ki is back up for the save. The champ goes to the top of the structure and drops through the middle, knocks down both challengers and retains the title at 17:15.
Rating: B. Good match, Low Ki’s selling issues aside. This is the kind of thing that the X-Division thrives at but they really need a singles feud that lasts a long time and actually sets up a one on one match. Everett winning the title at Slammiversary would make sense, but they seemed to be setting up Sonjay Dutt for that role instead. Still though, fun match here and hopefully we get Lee vs. Everett in a big blowoff soon.
Overall Rating: B-. Maybe the Jarretts really were the answer, as this show keeps getting better week after week. There’s still a lot of things that need to be fixed (like waiting six weeks for the second blowoff to Josh vs. JB) but what they’re doing well, they’re doing very well. I don’t have a ton of faith in them keeping this going but I’ll enjoy it while it lasts.
LAX b. Laredo Kid/Garza Jr. – Street Sweeper to Kid
Kongo Kong b. Braxton Sutter – Emerald Flowsion
James Storm b. Ethan Carter III via DQ when Carter hit the referee
Low Ki b. Andrew Everett and Trevor Lee – Low Ki pulled down the belt
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