The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–02.15.93


The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW – February 15 1993

– Pre-recorded from New York

– Your hosts are Vince & Rob & Macho

The Steiner Brothers v. Glen Ruth & Bobby Who

I think that was the name of the other jobber. No relation to Jim Neidhart, as far as I know. Scott puts Ruth down with a dragon suplex right away. Over to Bobby, who gets pounded by Rick and dropkicked by Scott. Scott puts him in a body vice and Rick drops an elbow off the top on him, and then goes to a chinlock. Clothesline and it’s back to Scott, who hits the butterfly powerbomb, and the Steiners finish with the top rope bulldog at 3:22.

Yokozuna v. Ross Greenberg

For some bizarre reason they’re doing a gag where Randy Savage’s microphone isn’t working. Greenberg decides to face Yoko down in a sumo challenge, and gets clotheslined for his troubles. Belly to belly follows and Yoko flattens him with the legdrop, and the buttdrop ends it at 1:57.

SPECIAL REPORT! WITH LORD ALFRED HAYES!

Let us take you back to WWF Superstars, as Jim Duggan has a sumo challenge against Yokozuna and knocks him off his feet. And then he did the job in about 150 house shows, but you knew that. Alfred narrating the destruction of Duggan like it was Masterpiece Theatre is a bit silly.

And while we’re watching Superstars, let’s also show you Giant Gonzalez beating the hell out of Louie Spicoli and two other jobbers.

Battle Royale

Looks like we’re got Bob Backlund, Berzerker, Kim Chee, Kamala, Tito Santana, Shawn Michaels, Razor Ramon, Koko B Ware, Tatanka, Terry Taylor, Mike Sharpe, Owen Hart, Skinner, Damian Demento and Typhoon. So pretty much everyone on the roster that worked last week or was in the building. Shawn backdrops Koko out for the first elimination and there’s a bunch of the usual milling around and punching. Skinner stops to dance (?!) and Typhoon clotheslines him out of the ring. Kamala tosses Demento, and Berzerker stops an Owen sleeper by throwing him out. I guess Mike Sharpe must have been eliminated at some point. Kamala superkicks Berzerker out to continue his face push. Kim Chee gets his revenge by putting Kamala out, however, which has Randy Savage OUTRAGED. Kamala comes back in and takes Kim Chee out, however, and they brawl into the crowd. Main event in any arena in the country, right there. We take a break and return with more nothing going on. Up in the crowd, Kamala is still chasing Kim Chee and Slick is trying to call him off because YOU ARE A MAN. Shawn backdrops Typhoon out, leaving us with Shawn, Razor, Tatanka and Tito. There’s a pretty good tag match right there. Shawn pounds on Tatanka in the corner, but gets chopped right back. Tito hits Razor with a flying forearm, but can’t put him out with it. The faces double-team Shawn and he bumps all over the place, finally landing on the floor. Huh, thought he was the clear winner. Razor tries beating on Tito, but he gets double-teamed…and Giant Gonzalez stumbles out and clears the ring single-handedly, which I guess gives Razor the win at 13:00, since he’s the last man standing. But I bet he won’t feel good about such an ill-gotten battle royal victory.

Ted Dibiase v. Brutus Beefcake

The reaction for Beefcake here is way more subdued than the pop he got last week. Brutus is also showing some major post-steroid flab. C’mon, he was in the hospital for months, there should have been easy access to drugs there. Beefcake evades Dibiase to start and slugs him out of the ring, and I’m already kind of shocked that they didn’t just bait-and-switch this match and hold off until Wrestlemania. Back in the ring, Beefcake works a headlock and then powers him out of the ring again. Back in, Brutus goes back to that headlock again, but IRS joins us at ringside. Vince and Randy sell it like Beefcake has been embarrassing Dibiase, but holding a headlock for 3:00 is hardly “embarrassing”. And in fact IRS hits him with the briefcase for the cheap DQ at 5:00. Barely even a match. * Money Inc. goes for broke and tries to hit Beefcake in the face with the steel briefcase, but Jimmy Hart keeps begging them not to. Finally IRS tosses him out of the ring and smashes Beefcake’s face in. Good, serves him right. It’s wrestling, not ballet. Jimmy Hart pleads for clemency again, so Money Inc. basically fires him and walks away. See, I never got the storyline motivation for Jimmy’s face turn here. I understand the real life reason in that Jimmy was Hulk’s actual business manager and yada yada, but what did it add to the storyline to have Jimmy Hart suddenly managing Hulk Hogan? When did he ever need a manager before? And why would people want to cheer loudmouthed weasel Jimmy Hart anyway? I would definitely call this moment the end of Hulkamania as we knew it.

Next week: Tatanka & The Nasty Boys v. Shawn Michaels & The Beverly Brothers! Plus maybe Hulk Hogan.


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