The SmarK Rant for Lucha Underground – S01E02
Second episode on Netflix, and I kind of know where most of this is going, but not the details from the first season, so this is really fun to go back and watch it all build.
Your hosts are Matt Striker & Vampiro
Last time: Chavo taps out to Blue Demon Jr and brings SHAME to his family, Son of Havoc cheats Sexy Star out of a win, and Konnan’s new star Prince Puma makes a name against Johnny Mundo, but Dario Cueto’s goon squad lays them both out and keeps his $100,000 to himself.
And we continue where we left off, as Dario’s crew of Cortez Castro, Big Rick, and Cisco introduce themselves. Johnny Mundo breaks up the promo and attacks all three, and thankfully Prince Puma has his back now. Dario is all about the ratings, so it’s a tag team match right now.
Johnny Mundo & Prince Puma v. Cortez Castro & Mr. Cisco
Puma, the mysterious non-English speaking masked man, hits Castro with a dropkick and the faces give him a double enzuigiri for two. Over to Cisco, and Mundo does his parkour legdrop and dodges a charge, then slingshots in with an elbow for two. Striker does a weird story about Cisco calling himself “prison shower style” and Vampiro has nothing to say for that one. Cisco and Castro double-team Mundo while Vamp goes on a random rant against Konnan. Hot tag to Puma and he gets two on Cisco after some flips and a splash, and it’s EL BONZO GONZO. I had to use Google Translate for that one. Mundo totally whiffs on a dive, leaving Puma alone with the heels, but Mundo regroups and saves him. Puma hits Castro with a dive while Cisco rolls up Mundo for two in the corner. The babyfaces regroup and hit the heels with stereo high kicks, and both go up with 450 splashes to finish at 8:20. Great start to the show. ***1/2
Mientras, Konnan gives Puma a pep-talk, and lets him know that he’s only got one friend: Konnan.
Mientras, Dario Cueto is bringing in someone to deal with Chavo: Mil Muertes.
Son of Havoc & Ivelisse v. Chavo Guerrero Jr. & Sexy Star
The announcers are all “The other guys don’t let men and women mix, dog!” And the other guys also have a much larger distribution and bigger merchandising deal, dog. Although you know who DOES like mixing various men and women, is Pai…
Hmm, Alberto Del Rio just cut off my mic there. Anyway, Chavo gets overpowered by Havoc to start and the heels quickly hit him with a cheapshot while Striker claims that Chavo was once ranked “one of the top 20 luchadors in the world”. I don’t even know that he would crack the top 20 in his own FAMILY! Chavo quickly comes back on Havoc (Vampiro: “Technically, that’s not Havoc, that’s his son.”) and Sexy Star comes in for a flying headscissors on Havoc before getting beat down in the corner. She deserves a beatdown for that spray tan. Netflix in HD is NOT beneficial for everyone on this show. Star makes a comeback but walks into a superkick from Ivelisse. Havoc misses a standing moonsault and it’s hot tag to Chavo as Star and Ivelisse do a sloppy brawl. Chavo with a frog splash on Havoc, and he lets Star have the pin on Havoc at 5:35. So after the whole match telling us how men and women are equal, Striker is like “Chavo is so nice to let the girl have the pin here!” Not much to this one. **
Mientras, Catrina gives Blue Demon the KISS OF DEATH on behalf of Mil Meurtes. That can’t be good.
Mientras, Konnan tells us all about this Prince Puma kid, who apparently is descended from a renegade Aztec tribe. They were so renegade that they settled in Kentucky!
Blue Demon Jr. v. Mil Muertes
Muertes beats Demon down right away and pounds him to the floor. Back in, Mil misses a slow charge and Demon goes after Catrina, but that’s a mistake and Muertes slugs away on him again. Demon with a bulldog for two, but Mil gets a backstabber for two. He goes up and hits foot in a move that makes no sense (like, he wouldn’t even land on Demon if it hit!) and Demon makes the comeback with chops in the corner. Mil spears him and gives him an ugly Flatliner to finish at 4:20. * for Catrina’s dress somehow defying gravity and Mil’s blue striped pajama pants. Chavo makes the save for Demon, and then turns on him with a chairshot instead. Striker relates this to “beating up cops and then turning around stomping the guy on the curb again.” Do they actually pay him for this job? Sexy Star also pleads with Chavo to stop the beating, but he hits her with a chair as well, just in case we didn’t know he’s a heel now. Striker: “What is Chavo’s motivation?” WE ALREADY LEARNED IT. Chavo tapped out to Blue Demon last week and he’s jealous, duh.
Building up Chavo as the top heel already reeks of the producer pushing himself, but we know the deal with that. Rest of the show was really fun.