Kayfabe Commentaries Timeline Series: 2007 WWE Blue as told by Swoggle


This was released January 31st, 2017

Sean Oliver is the host

It runs at two hours and twenty-five minutes long and for those wondering, the “blue” stands for the Smackdown and ECW brands.

 

JANUARY

Deuce & Domino made their debut along with valet Cherry. Swoggle said he liked the characters and loves characters in general, noting how he was one himself for a decade. Swoggle said Smackdown was mostly character-based. On why they didn’t last and got released, Swoggle thinks it was a case of there was nothing for them to do as singles acts and the tag team ran its course. Tatanka asked for his release a few days later as Swoggle was surprised they brought him back in the first place and thought he was a nice guy at least.

 

The Undertaker won the Royal Rumble after eliminating Shawn Michaels. When asked, Swoggle said he did not see anything wrong with him winning and since he still gets the big reaction, he has no problem with him only coming back for WrestleMania season. He is then asked about the Rumble match and if you are given advice for it by the agents as Swoggle said you are told to give the guy coming into the ring some “shine” and make people care about them unless they are going to get eliminated within seconds.

 

On “The Marine” movie, Swoggle said they were all given a DVD of the film and over time John Cena showed he can make the transition into Hollywood. Swoggle said he is a funny guy and its better for him in comedies than in stuff like the Marine as he can show his personality there. On who is the best and worst marine, Swoggle said that Miz was by far the worst.

 

When asked about Jillian Hall as a terrible singer, Swoggle said its better for her to do that than just being another wrestler as it was more of a reason to care about her. Swoggle said Hall was a real-life fan of Britney Spears. On if this was a way to get back at Hulk Hogan and make fun of his daughter’s music career, Swoggle does not think that is the case.

 

He talks about being some competition between the brands and how the Undertaker was the biggest leader on Smackdown and would pump them up when they beat RAW on shows overseas. Swoggle also said RAW was always viewed as the top brand and that will probably stay that way forever.

 

 

FEBRUARY

On the No Way Out PPV, they stopped making PPV’s brand exclusive. Swoggle said they put Cena on the PPV before WrestleMania and it made more sense than having him not on the PPV before that.

 

Swoggle’s named was changed from “Little Bastard” to “Hornswoggle” on February 27th. He said this was due to the fact it was not a kid-friendly name and that meant he was losing money on merchandise as they could not put that name on a product sold to kids.

 

 

MARCH

Miz TV debuted on the March 6th episode of Smackdown. Swoggle said he likes Miz a lot but is always in “Miz Mode.” Swoggle said he rode with both Miz & Kofi and Miz would always argue and they would tell him to be himself and not the Miz character. Swoggle said that got him heat with guys like Chris Benoit and JBL.

 

On the Ashley Massaro “Playboy Magazine” shoot, Swoggle said he never saw the pictures himself and you become uncomfortable wanting to see someone nude in that format when you work with them every day.

 

Swoggle is asked about being drunk on the March 13th episode of Smackdown. He said Bruce Prichard told him he would be drinking as it was the St. Patrick’s Day edition of the show. Swoggle said every time Prichard walked in he was drinking and Prichard would yell at him for being drunk at work. Swoggle said that he probably had about two pints of Guinness and was feeling pretty good but not actually drunk. When asked about the writers, Swoggle liked Chis DeJoseph and Ed Koskey along with Dave Kapoor.

 

Joey Mercury was released on March 26th. Swoggle is asked if it was a Wellness Policy thing as Swoggle said he was dealing with some “demons.” He says that violators are tested weekly while non-violators are tested about every two months. Swoggle said you can only take what is prescribed by the WWE’s doctor when it comes to pain medication.

 

 

APRIL

Swoggle said that Donald Trump shaving Vince McMahon’s head gets you on the cover of “USA Today” and covered by media outlets while John Cena vs. Shawn Michaels will not. Sean then asks Swoggle if he agrees with Vince Russo’s philosophy as Swoggle does not and tells him to shut up.

 

He is asked about Brian Kendrick & Paul London. Swoggle said they were awesome workers and good guys but did hint how they partied more than him.

 

 

MAY

 

On May 11th, Stephanie McMahon was promoted to the Executive Vice President of Talent and Creative Writing while John Laurinaitis was promoted to Senior Vice President of Talent Relations. Swoggle said Laurinaitis was a dickhead in that position but you have to be in that role. He said that Stephanie was mostly in the office and did not deal with her much. Swoggle and Sean then go back-and-forth on whether or not Stephanie is qualified to give a veteran wrestler creative advice as Swoggle said its not like she is teaching you how to do a wristlock or anything while Sean wants to know what makes her qualified for that.

 

Swoggle said he liked the MVP character and thought they could have made money off of that when he was a babyface.

 

 

 

JUNE

On the June 11th edition of RAW, Vince McMahon left the arena after his own appreciation night and entered his limo, which exploded as the show ended. Swoggle said he heard it was either going to be a fake death or someone was going to be behind the explosion. Swoggle said that Vince was pissed at Paul London for smiling before it happened and that’s really all he remembered. He liked the angle as it was different and that the limo was blown up live and there were even a few 911 calls from the area.

 

Chris Benoit, Nancy Benoit, and their seven year old child were found dead in their home. Swoggle is asked how he found out. They were all in suits for Vince’s funeral segment when Laurinaitis called them to the ring. Steve Austin was on the other side of the barricade and saw Dean Malenko go behind Vicki Guerrero and whisper something into her ear and she started crying and he wanted to know what was going on then Vince then told them all. The first they heard was that someone broke into their home and killed them so tonight was going to be a memorial show and they could tape stuff but everyone got to leave. Swoggle went back to the hotel with CM Punk, Curt Hawkins, and Zack Ryder were they relaxed in a hot tub and got all sorts of info texted to them and were all blown away after what they read. Swoggle then does not think it happened that way and said he never noticed a change in behavior with him. After the details came out they had a meeting and never mentioned his name again. Swoggle goes back to the Benoit tragedy and feels they were all murdered as their was “too much evidence proving the evidence wrong.”

 

 

JULY

The Major Brothers made their debuts on July 2nd. Swoggle says they are nice guys who love wrestling and considers them good friends. He said how the company treats Zack Ryder pisses him off and how Ryder single-handedly made YouTube cool for the company. Swoggle also said he moved a ton of merchandise at one point and the crowd even started a “We Want Ryder” chant when the Rock was in the ring. Swoggle notes how Hawkins was known as the “good hand” by Vince.

 

Chuck Palumbo returned on July 2nd to beat Kenny Dykstra. Swoggle said Palumbo loves motorcycles and made bikes for Chavo Guerrero and Rey Mysterio.

 

On Jamie Noble, Swoggle said that he was really liked as a producer and as a result was with Michael Hayes and produced both Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels WrestleMania matches. Swoggle said that he even came up with the finishes.

 

Swoggle is asked about overseas tours. He said the plane rides were not wild or anything but they drank and played cards on the bus. Swoggle talks about losing $3,400 to John Cena has he kept asking Cena to go “double or nothing” and lost each time. He talks about getting to drink every night on the overseas tours and they got paid to see the world, noting how he has been to Australia five times.

 

 

AUGUST

The “VIP Lounge” hosted by MVP made its debut on August 12th. Swoggle is asked if he’d rather watch that or “Miz TV.” Swoogle chose Miz, calling him an “awesome douchebag” as the VIP Lounge was not historic or anything.

 

Regarding Rey Mysterio, Swoggle said he was an awesome worker then tells a story of how he was under the ring waiting for Finlay’s match and on the headset, he heard Vince McMahon yell at Dean Malenko about Mysterio’s Silver Surfer costume and after agent Rey Mysterio told him it was a superhero costume, Vince said it was not Rey and was still pissed. Swoggle also recalls a time Vince was mad at Kofi for wearing dark-colored trunks as he was a character who wore bright colors.

 

Swoggle says he was only 3-4 inches shorter than Mysterio then talks about how he was too short to be pixelized as a playable character for the video games.

 

He is asked about the storyline with the cast of “Jackass” against Umaga that was cancelled as the cast did not want any negative attention because of the Chris Benoit tragedy. Swoggle said he was angry at Benoit over this because it cost him a boxing match against Wee Man.

 

On August 30th, 11 WWE wrestlers were suspended after allegedly purchasing performance-enhancing drugs from Signature Pharmacy. The following day, Stephanie McMahon held a meeting and brought up a $1,000 fine if tested positive for marijuana. He then said everyone gets tested the same.

 

 

SEPTEMBER

Bruce Prichard was the one who told Swoggle that he was going to be Vince McMahon’s son. Swoggle said the only people that knew were Prichard, Vince, Kevin Dunn, and Triple H. He went underneath the ring two hours before the show then talks about how he would bring his PSP to keep busy. He then talks about how every clue they read off kept the Sandman in the ring so they had to get him out of there. Swoggle also confirmed how it was originally supposed to be Ken Kennedy as Vince’s son but that changed when he got suspended. He talked about working with Vince a lot and how he would always pick on Jonathan Coachman and that everything had to be perfect with him or else you would have to do it again.

 

 

 

OCTOBER

Swoggle said the Punjabi Prison match was a cage that had bamboo wrapped around steel and it had to have hurt.

 

On Drew McIntyre, Swoggle said you realized how good he was until the end of his run. Swoggle talks about how good he is and can be a star before saying that his accent is what ended his push as the “Chosen One.” Swoggle puts over how good he is on the Independent scene today.

 

 

NOVEMBER

He talks about wrestling Khali and how badly his chop would hurt and that guys would rather take his finisher.

 

Swoggle talks about the Nasty Boys tryout match in which they caused havoc and stiffed Drew McIntyre & Dave Taylor. Swoggle calls Brian Knobbs a “complete cunt” but that Jerry Saggs was a good guy. He didnt see the match live but saw it at catering the following week and understood why Taylor was livid as the Nasties really took advantage of McIntyre.

 

Final Thoughts: Overall, a disappointing installment of the Timeline series. Too often Swoggle was just toting the company line (even the host pointed this out, although in a playful manner) and the Benoit stuff was just eyerolling. He even contradicted himself a few times too. There were some good stories and you learned a little bit but if you’ve ever seen Swoggle’s RF Video Shoot or YouShoot he did tell some of the same stories there as well.

I’d pass on this installment, personally, as there are plenty of other Timeline’s that are more enjoyable than this one.

You can purchase the interview by clicking here

 


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