The opening clip is Ronnie Garvin knocking out a series of jobbers, and we’re supposed to believe that he’s a legitimate threat to the NWA World Title. Yeah, like that’ll ever happen…
Tony Schiavone and David Crockett are our hosts from the TBS Studio. Magnum T.A., the Russians, Ric Flair, Dusty Rhodes & Baby Doll, Ron Garvin and many more will be here…
Magnum T.A. comes to the podium and he’s obviously been blading heavily recently. His forehead is a mess and he’s got two bandaids. Magnum says Nikita Koloff is every bit the strong challenger he expected, but he’s not getting his commie hands on the U.S. Title. I added the commie part, but the implication is there…
To the ring, the Barbarian w/ Paul Jones vs. George South. Barbarian presses South over his head twice and slams him. He misses with the big boot, but catches South trying a crossbody block. Jones kicks South after Barbarian tosses him out of the ring. A powerslam and diving headbutt end the too long squash.*
The Ragin’ Bull Manny Fernandez joins Tony. Fernandez says he never claimed to be the strongest, like the Barbarian, but he is one of the baddest. Fernandez says he’s proud of his Mexican-American heritage and proud to have fought for this country. He ends by ordering a margarita and some tacos with extra guacamole, or something in Spanish.
After a break, Arn Anderson comes out. Arn says people keep telling him Dusty’s gonna break his leg. Arn promises that Ole Anderson will be back in time to defend their National Tag Team Titles. They had five more days before they’re stripped of the belts. Arn says David Crockett has a letter and tells David to read it. Crockett says it’s a letter from NWA President Bob Geigel order Dusty Rhodes to stop wearing the steel-toed boot. Arn says Dusty doesn’t have the guts to get in the ring with the Andersons without the weapon.
To the ring, Cowboy Ron Bass vs. Mike Simani. They’re trying to hype a feud between Bass and the Barbarian, which excites no one. Bass does a back bodydrop, which prompts David Crockett to yell “GOOD SLAM”. Good grief. Bass elbows Simani in the face, and Crockett yells “GOOD ELBOW TO THE CHEST”. He’s really the worst. Bass wins with the claw. Match loses half a point because of Crockett’s announcing. 1/2*
Ron Garvin joins Tony. He brags about knocking Ric Flair out last week. Garvin says, “Everybody knows I’ve got your number. Now, I’m not talking about your phone number…” Garvin, winning this week’s Nostradamus Award, tells Flair he better call the IRS and tell them he’ll be a in a much lower tax bracket next year and won’t be able to pay his taxes. He suggests Flair should sell his limousine and plane, and pawn his Rolex watch. Garvin says he “wants it, real bad” and he’s “full of desire”. And obviously, again, Ronnie’s been spending too much time with his kayfabe brother & former tag team partner Terry Garvin lately.
To the ring, Ivan Koloff w/ Nephew Nikita vs. Patrick Tanaka. Yes, this is future Badd Company & Orient Express member, Pat Tanaka. Just a jobber for the past year in JCP, though. Ivan misses a kneedrop and Tanaka responds with chops and punches, knocking Koloff through the ropes. He misses a charge after the Irish Whip into the corner. Koloff punishes him some more, and again Tanaka fires back and even gets a two count. Ivan finishes him with a neckbreaker and the Russian Sickle. Tanaka is capable of so much more than we see here. *1/2
After a break, NWA World Champ Ric Flair has arrived. Flair makes the camera show off his backside, to the delight of the females in the crowd. Flair says one day he’ll put on a pair of blue jeans “and show them why Slick Ric and Space Mountain are synonymous. WHOOO!” The women cheer, then ask each other what synonymous means…
They show video of last week’s confrontation between the Four Horsemen and Ronnie Garvin. Flair claims Garvin had a foreign object when he hit him, and until Garvin walks that aisle and beats him in the ring, he’s just a contender. Flair adds that Dusty Rhodes is history. He ends by saying how much he enjoys seeing himself in the camera and that he just keeps getting better looking. Another great promo by the master.
To the ring, it’s Ragin’ Bull vs. Tony Zane. Fernandez controls with a headlock and pseudo-karate chops. He wins with the Flying Burrito.*
Dusty Rhodes & Baby Doll join Tony. Dusty talks smack on Flair. “I’m the only one standing out here with a good looking woman. You’re talking about it. I don’t see no good looking women here (with Flair). Tully Blanchard left a good looking woman and running around with a man. Now tell me what that means.” The audience pops big as Dusty’s innuendo. Dusty’s mad that Bob Geigel is taking away his boot. He talks some more trash in only the way Dusty can.
To the ring, it’s the Rock & Roll Express vs. Thunderfoot & Ken Owens. The fans chant “Rock & Roll” throughout. Quick tags, working the leg of Owens. They do the double roll into the double punch of Thunderfoot on the apron, and double dropkick on Owens for the win. *
After a break, Jim Cornette joins Tony. Cornette has a book of the Cornette family history and says the Cornettes have always been successes. “There’s never been a failure in the Cornette family because we’re a cut above you ordinary, working class, blue collar geeks.” Cornette complains again about all the letters he’s receiving from Ricky Morton’s fans, “written by 12-year old idiots with crayons”, asking why he hurt their hero. Awesome as usual.
Nikita Koloff vs. Bob Brown. This is not “Bulldog” Bob Brown of Central States fame. Instead, it’s some bald, jacked up dude who looks like a smaller version of Goldberg. Nikita clubs Brown. He goes for the big boot, but Brown catches him the leg and tries some forearms, which Nikita shakes off, then quickly regains the upperhand. Nikita ends it with the Sickle out of the corner. *
Nikita joins Uncle Ivan and Baron Von Raschke at the podium. Nikita brags about hurting Magnum T.A. in his hometown (Norfolk) last night. Ivan says the Kremlin has ordered Nikita to take the U.S. Title. Ivan adds that they won’t stop until the Road Warriors are out of wrestling. Baron says they’ve formed an axis of power and they’ll find the Road Runners and they’ll have their revenge for injuring Comrade Khrusher. And that is all the people need to know.
To the ring, it’s Jimmy Valiant vs. Paul Garner. Valiant comes over to the podium and tells Tony he needs some dip. Tony tells him he doesn’t use. Valiant says something about Tully Blanchard and J.J. Dillon injuring him, then says he’ll be back later for the kiss from Tony. Valiant beats up Paul Garner with nary a wrestling move. 1/2*
After a break, it’s Tully Blanchard w/ J.J. Dillon at the podium. J.J. doesn’t appreciate Dusty’s innuendo from earlier. He hypes the February 7 match between Tully & Dusty on the “Superstars on the Superstation” special. Tully says Dusty is going down. Some random female comes out and kisses Tully and they leave, just to make sure we all know Tully’s not gay.
After a break, Tony Schiavone reads some mail from fans, requesting their “dream matches” for the “Superstars on the Superstation” special. Tony announces a new match: Ivan & Nikita Koloff vs. the Road Warriors.
Jim Cornette introduces his man, Beautiful Bobby Eaton vs. Wee Willie Wilkins. Loverboy Dennis, Eaton’s Midnight Express partner, is also here. Wilkins, along with his horrible name, has a mohawk and hair on the sides. Just a stupid look. Bobby does a variety of suplexes on Wilkins, including a belly-to-back off the second rope. Bobby finishes him with the kneedrop off the top rope. Bobby stands on Wee Willie with one foot and gets the pin. Afterwards, Dennis and Bobby beat Wilkins up more, when the Rock & Roll Express come out to save Wee Willie. The Midnights bail. **
The Barbarian & Paul Jones join Tony. Jones says he’s out to prove the Barbarian is the strongest man in wrestling. We get another brilliant fan holding up a “weasle” sign. Jones offers $10,000 to anyone who can beat the Barbarian in a test of strength.
To the ring, it’s Ron Garvin vs. Mark Hawk. Mat wrestling early on, as Garvin applies a Stu Hart-esque sugar hold. Hawk doesn’t squeal like a bitch though, like Stu used to make wannabe wrestlers do in the Hart Dungeon. Garvin rubs Hawk’s face in the mat, kicks him, chops him and knocks him out with the “Hands of Stone”.*
Cowboy Ron Bass joins Tony. He says he wants the 10-grand Jones is offering for beating the Barbarian.
After a break, Black Bart vs. Josh Stroud. Bart hits a suplex and fist-drop, followed by a blatant choke. He nails a clothesline, and a Greco-Roman face bite. Bart continues his heelish tactics and wins with the Texas Trash Compactor.*
Magnum T.A. joins Tony at ringside. Magnum says Nikita might have caused him a little pain, but he likes “living on the edge” and a little adversity.
“Bring it on cuz I’m not backing up from you or anyone else. This belt is mine! The only fear I have in life is that this would one day be around a Russian waist and you would have to put me out forever to get that done.”
Another good, fiery promo from Magnum. The Cold War was something JCP fans took very seriously and everyone hated Nikita. In hindsight, Magnum’s words are unfortunate, but to build up this feud with Nikita Koloff, they’re excellent.
After a break, it’s Nikita and Ivan Koloff. Nikita mocks Magnum in his broken English. Ivan says Nikita can put Magnum out of wrestling for good and if that’s what he wants, Nikita is ready for it.
To the ring, it’s the Koloff’s comrade, Baron Von Raschke w/ Paul Jones vs. Rocky King. Ivan hypes up Baron’s amateur credentials. Baron was a legit great amateur. He was Nebraska state champ, Big 8 heavyweight champ, and a 1964 Olympic qualifier. Baron wins with the claw in a quick squash.*
Ric Flair is back out. Flair applauds Blanchard on his attractive female fan and says he might consider her for Space Mountain some time. Hilarious. Flair summons David Crockett over and says “we’re all gonna go to to school for a couple of minutes”:
“Number one, the National Wrestling Alliance is what’s happening in professional sports and I’m the world’s heavyweight champion. Arnold Anderson, my great cousin, the world TV champion and one-half of the national tag team champions. Dusty Rhodes, the national heavyweight champion. Magnum T.A., the U.S. champion. In other words, what I’m telling you folks, I might not like everybody, but the names I mentioned are the who’s who in professional wrestling. Even the Rock & Roll Express and all their training bra-wearing fans are what’s happening in wrestling today.
I can’t help it that I’m custom made. I can’t help it that I look good, smell good, whooo, can dance all night long. I can’ t help it that I’m the greatest wrestler alive today. But I’ll tell you this: Dusty Rhodes, you’ve got no more boot, so brother, the leg is back on the line.
And Ronnie Garvin, ha, brother, I’m gonna style & profile for you for about 30 seconds, and then you really think about it. You really wanna jump on Space Mountain, whooo, against all odds? Girls, I”m gonna be available anywhere you see my name on the marquee and you can ride Space Mountain all night long, if you’re 18 years old or over. WHOOO!!”
So much awesome in that. David Crockett is cracking up as Flair walks off. A classic promo from the best in the business.
To the ring, Tully Blanchard & Arn Anderson vs. the Italian Stallion & Don Kernodle. This should be good. Kernodle is a former world tag team champ with Sgt. Slaughter & with Ivan Koloff, as a heel. He and Stallion are good guy JTTS. Stallion controls early with armdrags on both men. That forces Arn to step out and take a time out. Tully gets the same results with hiptosses from Kernodle. They work Arn’s arm, with some Anderson-esque holds and double teaming. Kernodle gets kneed in the back by Blanchard from the outside and the Horsemen gain control for the first time about five minutes in…
Kernodle keeps fighting out, but Tully and Arn using blind tags to thwart each comeback attempt. Kernodle gets dumped outside and Arn rams his shoulder into the ring post. Tully goes for the slingshot suplex, but Kernodle blocks and delivers a vertical suplex of his own. But Arn tags in before Kernodle can make the hot tag to Stallion. He works on Kernodle’s arm and tags Blanchard. Tully goes to the top for a crossbody block, but Kernodle catches him in mid-air and powerslams him. Nice! He has him covered, but Arn breaks up the count…
Kernodle tags in Stallion. He screws up and misses his move on Arn. Tries to lock in a sleeper. Tully interferes and nails Stallion from behind. They hit a double-team gourdbuster for the win. Good match, ending was a little off. **1/2
And that’s it for this week. Good show with some great promos and further building of some major feuds. Thanks for reading.