Date: June 28, 2000
Location: Pershing Arena, Lincoln, Nebraska
Commentators: Mike Tenay, Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
We’re in such a weird place with WCW at the moment as they’re not very good at the moment but it’s SO much better than the Russo and Bischoff era. Russo and Bischoff seem to have destructed inside of the first two and a half months with Russo going home and Bischoff disappearing. This has given me such a good laugh as the fans somehow have more patience than they do for this nonsense. Let’s get to it.
We open with a recap of Monday’s four way title shot. I don’t remember the last time Jeff didn’t defend the title on Nitro.
Smooth and Jarrett are in the back with Smooth thinking Cat has a conspiracy against the champ. Jarrett doesn’t worry about it because he has to deal with Hogan. You know this because the guitar now has a Hogan shirt around it. You can add Jeff Jarrett selling a World Title match on his own to the list of WCW’s really bad ideas.
Here’s Jarrett to brag about being the greatest WCW World Champion ever after beating Scott Steiner and Kevin Nash in the last week. He’s been looking for some of the fattest women he can find to sing at Bash at the Beach because Terry Bollea is done. They’re still going WAY too far for this gag but I’m sure it would play in Memphis and that’s totally like the rest of the country.
Horace comes out to stand up for his uncle but R&B Security (remember them?) breaks it up. The Cat comes out to say that Horace wants to eat Jarrett’s children (the only time Horace will ever be compared to Mike Tyson) so tonight it’s Horace vs. Jarrett for the title. For some reason Horace gets in Cat’s face, sending Cat running off screaming about ratings in a funny bit. So this company’s savior is now Horace. E pluribus gads.
The announcers recap Goldberg vs. Duggan in a discussion almost as long as the match itself.
The Misfits are given their assignments for tonight with Corporal Cajun challenging Lieutenant Loco for the Cruiserweight Title. Cajun says it’s going to be staying in the family no matter what. Loco threatens to kill Cajun for touching the belt or for calling him Chavo. Ok then.
Kanyon tells Gene that he’s going to Kanyon Cut everyone he sees tonight, sending Gene running away in fear.
Cruiserweight Title: Corporal Cajun vs. Lieutenant Loco
Cajun is challenging. They start fast with Cajun grabbing a headlock but Loco flips out and starts a very quick series of rollups, drawing a rare round of applause from the crowd. As always: fans acknowledge entertaining wrestling. The champ gets two off a quick hurricanrana and gets rolled up while he yells at the referee. Cajun comes back with a headscissors and tilt-a-whirl slam for two, followed by a powerslam for the same. Loco backdrops him to the floor but almost completely misses a dive over the top. Back in and a quick tornado DDT retains the title.
Rating: C. This was about what I was expecting from these two as they’re both good enough in the ring to have a good, short match. Chavo was getting better and better every week at this point and the Cruiserweight Title helped validate him a lot. At least it was better than it was on the Artist.
Johnny the Bull is looking for Terry Funk but gets attacked by a janitor…..who is Terry Funk. Never let your guard down Johnny.
Scott Steiner threatens the Cat with a stapler until he gets a match with Mike Awesome tonight.
3 Count vs. Mark Jindrak/Sean O’Haire
Before the match, we hear about the success of their new single and there is NO truth to the rumors that they’re lip synching. Jindrak and O’Haire hit the ring to jump the band from behind (pests) and it’s Helms as the odd man out here. Jindrak gets kicked to the floor and Evan hits a huge dive.
We cut to the back to see Tank Abbott arriving, only to get ticked off that he missed the performance. Back in the arena and Jindrak gets double suplexed, only to have Evan’s Whisper in the Wind hit his partner. The hot tag brings in O’Haire, who throws Shannon over the referee for a huge crash. The Seanton Bomb pins Shannon to make them 2-0.
Rating: C-. These new guys are getting better (you know, after their seven or so minutes combined so far) and it’s cool to see them hitting the ground running. Considering I have to think rather hard about who the Tag Team Champions are right now, it might be time for some fresh teams in the division.
Post match Tank comes out with a green square (which he didn’t have when he arrived), demanding that 3 Count sing. Tank dances on his square at ringside until Kronik comes down to clean house.
Kanyon takes out the guy who brings him a sandwich. This is actually kind of funny, just like everything else Kanyon has been doing lately.
Here’s Big Vito, who challenges the Jung Dragons to a hardcore gauntlet match.
Hardcore Title: Jung Dragons vs. Big Vito
Vito is defending of course. Yang is in first and gets beaten down, only to avoid a quick splash. Some kicks and right hands in the corner have little effect on Vito as he throws Yang down with a suplex and drops the top rope elbow for the elimination. Now it’s Kaz running in for a bunch of kicks and a cross body. His victory roll out of the corner is easily countered into an electric chair though and Vito’s top rope splash gets rid of Kaz.
That leaves Jamie-San who comes in with a dropkick and low baseball slide. A quick Russian legsweep and middle rope legdrop get two on the champ. Jamie is right back up with a top rope splash for the same but Vito kicks him in the face. Some cane shots knock out the other Dragons but Jamie gets in a missile dropkick
Rating: D. Other than the cane shots, there was nothing hardcore about any of this, which completely defeats the point of the title. Jamie was AWESOME here though and is clearly the star of the team. Unfortunately he’ll probably be seen as too small and given roughly 193 other reasons why he can’t get a push. Like he’s not old enough or doesn’t have a sex joke for a name.
Jamie-San, who has suddenly grown quite a bit, celebrates until Jamie-San gets in. The guy who got the pin unmasks to reveal Johnny the Bull, which is probably leading to a Dusty Finish.
Funk is very pleased.
Awesome is told that he has to face Steiner tonight and isn’t pleased.
Daffney jumps Hancock in makeup and covers her with powder. The story makes sense but at some point they’re going to have a match and it’s all downhill from there.
Perfect Event hijacks Woody again, leaving a cameraman to take a surprise Kanyon Cutter.
Perfect Event vs. General Rection/Major Stash
Non-title. Woody has been dragged to the floor and it’s a brawl to start with the Misfits charging to the ring. Rection and Palumbo start things off with Stasiak tripping the General, setting up a nice flying tackle for two. I have a feeling that’s the extent of the good looking offense here. Both champions fire off kicks with Palumbo’s coming straight from the jungle. The PerfectPlex is countered into a suplex for two and it’s back to Palumbo who keeps control.
Now we get to the drama as Stasiak doesn’t want to tag out. You mean this team that was thrown together like three weeks ago isn’t totally solid? We hit the chinlock with a knee in Rection’s back, drawing Stash in for the save sans tag. Palumbo and Stasiak use the distraction to switch so Stasiak can do some chinlocking.
Rection can’t get all the way up as Stasiak pulls him back down. A double clothesline finally allows the hot tag to Stash, who takes Stasiak down with the cobra clutch slam (which he took forever to remember how to do). No Laughing Matter is good for the pin on Shawn because champions are worthless.
Rating: D-. Remember how I said fans recognize the talent in someone like Chavo or Leroux? The same is true here, as they understand that the only one with any form of talent in there is Rection and he’s a few inches under his ceiling here. Palumbo has a good physique and a good superkick but you can’t build a career on that. Horribly dull match.
WCW World Title: Horace Hogan vs. Jeff Jarrett
Jarrett is defending in case you’re really slow. Horace charges in and hits a few clotheslines to put the champion on the floor. They head into the crowd for all of ten seconds before Jeff hits one of the worst chair shots I’ve ever seen to Horace’s leg. Back in and we hit the slow stomping as the fans get downright vicious by saying Jarrett sucks.
Outside again with Horace sending him into a few metal objects, followed by throwing him over the announcers’ table. Some right hands to the head have Jeff in trouble and there goes the referee. A low blow puts Horace down and Jeff loads a chair in the corner, only to have the champ go head first into it for two. The referee gets back up to take the chair away from Horace but Jeff……does what is called the Stroke onto the chair (Horace landed on his back) to retain.
Rating: D-. For the love of all things good and holy stop with the Horace pushes. It’s another not very good wrestler taking the spot from someone who could use a high level spot like this. As usual though, the guy getting pushed because of nepotism can’t live up to his spot and makes for some horrible matches.
Jeff guitars Horace post match.
Vampiro finds a Sting mask in a locker and freaks out. Let’s get this over with.
Here’s Vampiro in the ring to talk about putting Dale Torborg in a coffin, just like he did to Steve Borden. There go the lights and we’ve got two hooded people in the ring. Vampiro unmasks one of them and finds Asya, who spits red liquid in his face. Of course the other one is Torborg, who pounds Vampiro down with a bat. The lights go out again and the two of them disappear, only to have another hooded man above the video screen point a light at Vampiro’s face. Of everything on WCW right now, Vampiro and his WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN stuff might be the most annoying.
Lance Storm talks about making his name wrestling instead of dancing. That’s how you get noticed in Calgary, Alberta, Canada. Kidman wants revenge on the Filthy Animals for jumping him a few weeks back. The two of them leave so Kanyon can sneak in and lay out the cameraman. He even leans down and does the diamond sign to the camera.
Kidman/Lance Storm vs. Rey Mysterio/Juventud Guerrera
Kidman and Mysterio go to the floor to start, leaving Juvy to roll Storm up for a quick two. The Juvy Driver is broken up and the half crab goes on until Rey comes in for a quick save. Kidman comes in for a Sky High and it’s quickly off to Rey who spins all around Kidman into a hurricanrana because that’s what heels do. It’s back to Juvy who has to escape another powerbomb by elbowing Kidman in the head.
Juvy can’t powerbomb Kidman but since the good days are gone, Kidman just backdrops out instead. Juvy is up first with a top rope clothesline, only to dive into a dropkick. Storm gets the tag for his first official action in WCW and you can feel the energy again. House is quickly cleaned and everything breaks down with Rey and Juvy having to break up pins. So much for the tagging part.
Kidman sends Juvy outside but Storm misses a dive, leaving Kidman to take What’s Up with a legdrop instead of a headbutt. The Juvy Driver gets two and it’s time for the Juvy Elbow because he’s the Rock for reasons I still don’t understand. Storm breaks it up with a springboard missile dropkick, setting up Kidman’s top rope splash for the pin on Juvy.
Rating: C+. Another good and fast paced match here as Storm has been a breath of fresh air into the midcard. Kidman turning face again was the right idea, though it would have been nice to have him get a big win instead of losing every showdown to Hogan and then dropping down to fight the Animals.
Post match Storm and Kidman fight off the Animals with ease.
Kanyon gets a match with Buff tonight.
Tygress vs. Paisley
These two have been feuding for a few weeks now and this could be quite the train wreck as neither is a wrestler. Tygress jumps her from behind and the Animals are quickly ejected. A choke minus the actual choking has Tygress in control early and a hair toss gets one. Paisley comes back with a horrible hiptoss as the announcers have to ignore a WE WANT PUPPIES chant. Paisley slams her for a pin to end this quick.
Tygress jumps Paisley from behind and celebrates. You just got pinned BY A SLAM. You have no right to celebrate a thing.
Buff Bagwell vs. Positively Kanyon
Kanyon rips up a book on the way to the ring. Doesn’t that hurt his own sales? Some early right hands have Buff in trouble but he backdrops out of a Diamond Cutter attempt. A backdrop sets up some stomps from Buff but Kanyon grabs his really crisp Russian legsweep. That’s enough for Kanyon as he takes out the referee with the Cutter, earning a DQ from a replacement referee.
Post match Bagwell beats him up and hits a DDT onto the book, only to have Kanyon hit him in the head with a brick. Well that’s quite the big jump up in aggression. Booker comes out to save us from hearing another chapter.
Scott Steiner vs. Mike Awesome
Non-title I assume. Steiner pounds him down to start and clotheslines Mike out to the floor. An announcer’s chair to the back of the head staggers Awesome and they fight into the crowd. Back in and Scott keeps in control with the bicep elbow. They head right back to the floor with Awesome hitting him in the ribs with a chair (a regular one this time). The top rope clothesline gets two on Steiner but he comes back with a belly to belly superplex. The Steiner Recliner goes on but here’s Cat to say that’s illegal. Cat superkicks the referee and hits Steiner with the belt. Naturally he has a referee shirt on and Awesome gets the pin.
Rating: D. Steiner did some moves, Awesome did some moves, they did the finish. Cat is starting to be on the show way too much, but at least he’s more entertaining than Russo and is willing to take a beating every now and then. The US Title needs to change hands already. Steiner is a main eventer already so let anybody else have the title so they can go somewhere.
Overall Rating: D+. This show was uneven as it had some ok wrestling and hilarious bits with Kanyon but also featured Horace Hogan getting a World Title shot and another lame main event. All that being said, it continues to be miles better than what we were sitting through just two weeks earlier. Bash at the Beach is next week though and the pay per views have been doing more damage than two months’ worth of good TV could fix.
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