I feel I’ve gotten to know you really well over the years. I’ve been reading your works online since 2000, and I own several of your books. My wedding is next October and I was wondering if you would be my best man. I would pay for your travel and any hotel accommodations. If that’s too much trouble, I could set up a computer and you could Skype in.
I just don’t think my wedding would be complete without a SmarK rant or your presence since you’re such a huge part of my online life. Some people might think it’s weird, but I met my girlfriend online, so why not ask my online buddy to be the best man?
P.S. You don’t have to throw me a bachelor party, but I wouldn’t hate it.