WWE Elimination Chamber – 5/31/2015


Quite
frankly, I’m always excited to see a WWE PPV. I’m stoked that
Elimination Chamber is back — albeit, last second. But, let’s see what
this show has to offer…

We start with a montage of the EC cage and how punishing it is along with small bits of each of the main feuds.
We are LIVE(!!!) from Corpus Christi, Texas for WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER!!!
Cole, JBL and King are the guys at the main table while Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez man the Spanish Table.
MATCH
#1: The Primetime Players (Titus O’Neil & Darren Young)
(challengers) vs. Los Matadores (Diego & Fernando) (challengers) (w/
El Torito) vs. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (challengers) (w/ Natalya) vs.
The New Day (Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston, & Big E) (champions) vs.
The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) (challengers) vs. Lucha Dragons (Sin
Cara & Kalisto) (challengers) in an Elimination Chamber Match for
the WWE Tag Team Championship
Got
all that? The Ascension and Dragons start the thing. The Dragons take
out The Ascension to start until Kalisto gets on top of the New Day pod.
The New Day pulls at Kalisto’s foot and beats on him. Sin Cara is put
on the grating outside the ring but gets up and starts to scale the
chamber. Kalisto manages to kick The Ascension off him and Sin Cara hits
a nice splash. Kalisto tries to leap off the New Day pod but they
continue to pull at his legs. The first pod opens and it’s…
Cesaro/Kidd. They
double team Sin Cara, then go after The Ascension with dual splashes
and an uppercut. Kidd climbs up to grab Kalisto but gets knocked away,
so Cesaro runs up the buckle and hits a huge uppercut — then hits a
Superplex. Kidd goes for the pin but Sin Cara saves it. Cesaro dumps
him, then presses Kalisto out of the ring. Viktor and Kidd get into it.
Viktor hits a suplex and gets two. Cesaro saves the pin and Kidd puts
Viktor in the Sharpshooter. Konnor breaks it. Cesaro dumps Konnor but
Sin Cara hits a Hurricarana to send Cesaro out of the ring. Chaos ensues
with bodies all over the place as we get our next team and it’s…
Los Matadores. They’re
all over The Ascension. Kalisto, meanwhile, has climbed to the very
top/center of the Chamber and then falls on top of the mass of bodies
who just stare up at him like morons for about a minute. The Ascension
gets up to take out one of the Matadores as Torito tries a similar spot
as Kalisto. It’s terrible. They dump Torito after catching and hit the
Fall of Man to eliminate the Matadores at 10:27. Fall of Man takes out
the Dragons about a minute later at 11:24. Cesaro and Kidd take on The
Ascension as our next team is released…and it’s…
The Prime Time Players. They
go after The Ascension. Titus just whips Viktor against the cage and
they eliminate The Ascension at 13:33. The Players go after Cesaro and
Kidd. Titus drops Young on top of Cesaro but Kidd gets up and hits a
suplex, then goes after Titus who boots him across the ring. Cesaro goes
after Titus, then Young, hitting a drop kick to Young who was sitting on the top buckle.
Cesaro hits a Super Gut Wrench Suplex off the top rope as the crowd
starts a “THIS IS AWESOME” chant. Kidd gets up and goes after Titus who
catches him and hits a Spinebuster. All four guys are down. Finally,
it’s…
The New Day
who ascends upon three of the four guys like locusts. It’s a rugby
scrum with all seven guys huddling. It’s a huge suplex by the Cesaro,
Kidd and the PTP. Cesaro and Kidd have had it and toss Woods in a pod,
locking it. Cesaro and Kidd hit the Spin Dropkick — but Young rolls
Cesaro up out of nowhere to eliminate him and Kidd at 18:13. The New Day
gangs up on Titus O’Neil and uses the cage chains to choke Titus. Young
is in the middle of the ring. Woods and Kofi climb the buckles for The
11th Hour but Young escapes and dives at Woods and Kofi, knocking them
into a pod. Titus gets up and just takes out Woods with a boot. Young
drops Kofi’s neck on the top rope. Titus rams E into the cage and tosses
him into the ring. Everyone gets back into the ring. Titus hits a huge
clothesline. Young grabs Kofi and hits a NICE gutbuster, nearly getting
the fall. Young clotheslines E out of the ring but also falls out. E
hits a Belly to Belly on Young. Titus hits a Powerslam on E. Woods flies
at Titus but Titus catches him. E clips Titus’s knee and Kofi hits
Trouble in Paradise to retain the titles at 23:42.
WINNERS AND STILL CHAMPIONS: The New Day
RATING:
**3/4. Kinda clunky, disjointed and a bit messy, but it was nice to see
Kalisto have a nice spot off the ceiling and The Ascension looking
semi-strong for a change. The Prime Time Players also looked great. The
problem was that The New Day didn’t seem to be given much to do and, once Kidd and Cesaro were eliminated, there wasn’t much tension left in the last quarter of this match.
All in all, not a bad start to the show.
ON SMACKDOWN: Rusev hurt his foot, so he’s out of the IC Title match.
Dolph
Ziggler is backstage. Lana approaches him and wishes him good luck. He
says that he’s sorry for Rusev not being in the match. Lana says it
isn’t about him. Ziggler says that it doesn’t matter. He hopes it will
be about him and Lana when the match is over. Lana says she’d like that.
MATCH
#2: Nikki Bella (championship) vs. Naomi (challenger) vs. Paige
(challenger) in a Triple Threat Match for the WWE Divas Championship
Nikki
gets dumped into the Triple Threat Match Black Hole, so it’s Paige and
vs. Naomi and her magical glow shoes. Paige clotheslines the hell out of
her and hits a dropkick. She hits a Superkick but misses the second
one. Naomi tries a cross body but Paige catches her for a Fallaway Slam.
Two count. Nikki gets back in the ring and drops Paige’s face across
her knee. She tosses Paige into Naomi in the corner and clotheslines
Paige. Alabama Slam by Nikki and Naomi tries a roll-up pin, getting two.
Nikki misses an Enzuguri. Paige covers for two. Naomi sends Nikki back
outside and hits a suplex on Paige. Legdrop by Naomi. Naomi props Paige
on the buckle and tries a Super Side Suplex but Paige elbows out. Nikki
gets in the ring and hits a nice powerbomb, covering both Naomi and
Paige for two. Nikki tries the Rack Attack, so Naomi hits the stupid
Rear View. Paige saves it and grabs Nikki for the PTO. Naomi saves it
and hits an awful looking Hurricarana off the the top buckle on a
counter, getting two. Seriously, I’m surprised she didn’t break Paige’s
neck. Nikki grabs Naomi and hits the Rack Attack and #NIKKIWINSLOL to
retain at 6:05.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Nikki Bella via Rack Attack
RATING: *3/4. Is there a reason why Nikki still has this title? Where are we going with any of these three women?
Post-match, Brie makes an appearance to celebrate with Nikki.
We get the build-up for Cena/Owens.
MATCH #3: NXT Champion Kevin Owens vs. WWE United States Champion John Cena (non-title)
Huge
fight feel for this one. Owens tries a side headlock but gets shoulder
tackled by Cena. Owens kicks at Cena and then hammers on him in the
corner. Cena comes back with a Bulldog. Owens counters by kicking Cena
to the head when Cena tries a back body drop. He hits a chinlock on Cena
but the ref tells him to break as it’s done outside the ropes. Owens
tosses Cena into the corner and celebrates. He stomps Cena some more,
then taunts and punches him for two. Headlock by Owens but SUPERCENA
breaks it. He goes for an AA but Owens counters into a DDT for two.
Owens continues to work Cena over and continues to celebrate. Cena rolls
him up for two. Owens hits a clothesline and Reverse Senton. Two count.
Owens tells Cena to punch at him. They exchange shots. Cena hits the
first two Moves of Doom and then hits a version of Sheamus’s cross for
two. Owens hits a flipping splash on Cena in the corner and it’s another
two count. Owens tells Cena to “give up”. Cena comes back with punches
but Owens grabs him for the Pop-Up Powerbomb. Cena escapes and it’s
Moves 1 through 3. He hits the 5KS and goes for the AA but Owens breaks
it and hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb for two. Owens is shocked and climbs
the corner buckle. Cena gets up and stops the ascent and the two punch
one another. Owens headbutts him off and misses a Moonsault. 
Cena
grabs him for the AA! Owens kicks out! The two men trade shots until
Owens hits a nice Superkick to knock Cena down and out. Owens gets to
his feet and then goes for the 5KS — but Cena grabs him on the run back
and hits the STF. Owens nearly gets to the ropes. Cena breaks his own
move and tries to lock it in again but Owens kicks out and hits an AA!
CLOSE FALL. Owens runs at Cena who kicks Owens and hits a Tornado DDT
for another close fall. Cena climbs the buckle and hits the Flying
Legdrop for ANOTHER close fall. Cena tries the AA but can’t get Owens
up. Owens picks Cena up and hits a Sitting Powerbomb of sorts. Two
count. Owens grabs Cena again and belts him in the face, telling him to
stay down. Cena fights back and hits the Springboard Stunner, nearly
getting the fall. Cena gets to his feet first and then props Owens on
the top turnbuckle. Cena goes for the Superplex but OWENS COUNTERS WITH A
SUPER FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX! Two count! Reverse Senton by Owens! TWO
COUNT. Owens runs at Cena who hits a clothesline. Cena gets to his feet
and runs at Owens who hits the Pop-Up Powerbomb for the WIN!!! Clock it
at 20:02.
WINNER: Kevin Owens via Pop-Up Powerbomb
RATING: *****. This was outstanding on every single level. What a match.
Post-match,
Owens has the mic. He says that everyone now knows who he is. He’s the
man who started a fight with John Cena and he’s also the man who
finished it. He says that Cena’s time is up and his time is now. It’s
time for Cena to go.
The CNN WWE News Desk of Doom discusses what just happened. Booker doesn’t say anything stupid this time, so there’s that.
Bo’s out for his match. He says he’s gonna force Neville to believe tonight.
MATCH #4: Bo Dallas vs. Neville
Dallas
and Nevill exchange holds to begin. Neville flips across the ring and
kicks Bo as he comes running at Neville. Neville goes for the Moonsault.
Dallas moves outside. Neville hits the Moonsault to the outside anyhow.
They get back in the ring. Neville continues to attack. Dallas gets to
the ropes and tells Neville to back off, then screams at him, saying
that he was only trying to help Neville. Neville kicks him, then tries
to kick him again. Dallas grabs his leg and tosses him outside. Dallas
puts him back up on the mat and clubs away at him. Back in the ring, he
drops some knees and it’s a two count. Front facelock by Dallas. Neville
fights back but Dallas just knees him in the face repeatedly. Dallas
elbows Neville in the face twice. He misses a third, Neville breaks
free. Dallas rushes him but Neville throws him into the ringpost and
outside the ring. Dallas gets in to beat the ref’s count. Nevill hits
his quick kicks and the Standing Shooting Star Press for two. Neville
goes to follow up but Dallas dives at Neville, hitting him in the gut,
then hits a quick DDT for two. Dallas tries the Bo-Dog but Neville
breaks it and hits an Enzuguri. Neville hits The Red Arrow for the win
at 8:51.
WINNER: Neville via Red Arrow
RATING: **1/4. Not a bad match. Both men are pretty over with the crowd.
Triple
H bumps into Ambrose and Reigns backstage. He says that he can’t allow
Reigns to be at ringside. He explains that Kane is only out there
because he’s “an official”. He wishes Ambrose luck anyway.
The Elimination Chamber lowers and Daniel Bryan is at ringside as he’s going to present the title to who ever wins it tonight.
With that, we get the clip of Bryan giving up the IC Title 3 weeks ago on RAW. 
MATCH
#5: Mark Henry (challenger) vs. Sheamus (challenger) vs. R-Truth
(challenger) vs. Ryback (challenger) vs. King Barrett (challenger) vs.
Dolph Ziggler (challenger) in an Elimination Chamber Match for the
vacant WWE Intercontinental Championship
Ziggler
and Barrett start us off. The two men try for quick pins on one
another. Barrett gets an advantage and hits a snap suplex. He belts
Ziggler in the corner and taunts Mark Henry, asking if he likes what
he’s seeing. Barrett kicks Ziggler in the ribs and it’s a two count.
Headlock by Barrett. Ziggler breaks an hits a dropkick, Stinger Splash
and neckbreaker. Elbow drop. Two count. Barrett botches a chest kick and
sends Ziggler outside to the METAL GRATING THAT HURTS PEOPLE LIKE JBL
TOLD US. He tosses Ziggler into Ryback’s pod, then taunts Ryback.
Barrett throws Ziggler into the chains and punches at him. He screams at
Sheamus as our four minutes are up…the next person is…
R-Truth. Barrett
won’t let Truth out of his pod and kicks him. Barrett just clubs away
and kicks at him, then throws him into the chains over and over. Ziggler
gets to his feet but Barrett hits a Big Boot, knocking him down. He
tosses Ziggler into the ringpost and celebrates. Truth finally gets into
it and knocks Barrett down. Truth hits a Missile Dropkick off the
buckles for two. Truth hits a Sitting Reverse Suplex and then a Scissors
Kick. Barrett rolls to the corner. Truth splashes him, then runs at him
again. Barrett grabs him for Winds of Change for two, which honestly
surprises me. Ziggler rolls Barrett up for two. Superkick to Ziggler.
Two count. Barrett tosses Ziggler at Mark Henry’s pod, breaking it. The
ref tells Henry to get back in the pod — but it’s no-DQ. He’s in. He
kicks the crap out of Barrett and splashes him for two as the next
contestant is…
Ryback. And
Henry is officially in this thing because why not? Ryback’s all over
him, then slams Barrett against the turnbuckle. He hits a Spinebuster
for two. He goes for a Powerbomb but Barrett counters and sends him
outside. Ziggler ambushes Barrett and hits a nice pin for two. Barrett
grabs him for Wasteland but Henry saves the pin and puts Barrett in the
corner, beating him up and telling Barrett that he shouldn’t have
taunted him. Barrett breaks out of the corner and tries the Bullhammer
on Ziggler. Everyone gets a spot — and Truth hits the Lie Detector AND
ELIMINATES BARRETT?! Am I living in an alternate universe?! Clock it at
11:04. It’s Pier 6 with Henry beating on Truth and Ryback and Ziggler in
the other corner. Final contestant is, of course…
Sheamus…but
his pod won’t open. Ruh-roh. All hell breaks loose and it’s a series of
distraction roll-ups. Refs try their hardest to let Sheamus out but
nothing is working. Ziggler, Ryback and Truth, meanwhile, work together
to beat on Henry until Ryback takes out Ziggler and hits Shell Shock on
Truth to eliminate him at 13:59. Sheamus is still stuck in the pod.
Meanwhile, Ryback hits a Delayed Vertical Suplex on Ziggler, keeping him
in the air for about half a minute before falling. He goes for the Meat
Hook but Ziggler hits the Superkick. And…ok, Sheamus now gets out
because he rigged the pod with his cross and waited for everyone to be
unconscious. He clotheslines Ryback out, sends Ziggler into the pod and
then beats on Henry before goes for a WSS which Sheamus somehow
breaks because, suddenly, the WSS requires tossing your opponent on your
shoulders. Sheamus hits a Brogue to eliminate Henry at 17:18.
Sheamus
goes after Ziggler and tosses him into the ring. Sheamus hits short-arm
clotheslines and then taunts Ziggler with kicks. Ziggler gets up and
knocks Sheamus down, punching at him. Sheamus comes back with a quick
shoulderblock and Suplex Throw for two. Sheamus tries another suplex but
Ziggler counters into a small package for two. Ziggler hits a DDT and
gets two. Ryback gets back up and tries a Powerbomb. Ziggler escapes and
hits a Superkick, then a Fame-Asser on Sheamus. Sheamus gets up,
counters a move and hits the Brogue to take out Ziggler at 20:25. It’s
Ryback vs. Sheamus with Sheamus hitting a powerslam. Two count. Sheamus
slaps at Ryback, taunting him, then points at Daniel Bryan at ringside.
Ryback gets up and hits lariats and a powerslam. He clubs at Sheamus in
the corner and then hits a Powerslam in Stride. He sets up for the Meat
Hook but Sheamus rolls out of the ring. Sheamus starts fucking around
with his pod and Ryback interrupts. Sheamus grabs him and hits White
Noise. Close fall. Sheamus starts trying Ten Beats but Ryback pulls
Sheamus out of the ring. Sheamus counters and tosses Ryback into a pod,
then hits a Rolling Senton. Sheamus runs at Ryback who grabs him and
powerbombs him back into the ring. Ryback hits Shell Shock to finally
end this crap and win the IC Title at 25:12.
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Ryback via Shell Shock
RATING:
1/2 a *. This was a whole pile of nope. No memorable spots, a new low
reached with Truth eliminating Barrett, destroying whatever credibility
Barrett had left, and some sort of botched “angle” with Sheamus and his
pod. Incredibly disjointed as well.
Post-match,
Daniel Bryan presents the Intercontinental Championship to Ryback,
asking the crowd if he deserves it. The crowd, audibly, answers half and
half.
We
get highlights from Cena vs. Owens — and there’s a rematch between the
two slated for Money in the Bank because WWE can’t leave well enough
alone.
Also, the MITB match will feature Kofi Kingston because reasons.
We get the build-up for tonight’s main event.
MATCH
#6: Seth Rollins (champion) (w/ J&J Security – Jamie Noble &
Joey Mercury – and Kane) vs. Dean Ambrose (challenger) for the WWE World
Heavyweight Championship
The
two exchange armbars and wristlocks. Rollins elbows out and snap mares
Ambrose to the mat. Ambrose breaks. Rollins hits a shoulderblock but
Ambrose hits nice Steamboat-esque armdrags and puts Rollins in a
wristlock, then an armbar. Dean breaks it and Rollins rolls out of the
ring. Rollins huddles with “Security”, then gets back into the ring.
Rollins belts Ambrose in the face and stomps at him in the corner.
Ambrose comes back with a cross body and hits a forearm in the corner.
Ambrose hits two huge chops, then ties Rollins up with the top rope and
dropkicks him. He hits a flying legdrop and gets two. They fight into
the corner. Ambrose sends Rollins to the mat and goes for a high risk
move. Security gets involved. Ref chases them off. Rollins gets on the
top buckle while Ambrose hangs upside down on the top buckle and hits a
Falling Stomp. Rollins kicks Ambrose in the head and hits a forearm once
back in the ring. Two count.
Headlock
by by Rollins but Ambrose breaks and sends Rollins to the mat. Ambrose
runs at him but Rollins trips him and Ambrose heads into the ringpost.
Ambrose gets back up and Rollins bounces around and punches him like
Muhammad Ali. Ambrose comes back with a flurry of punches but Rollins
flies at Ambrose and yanks him to the mat for two. J&J mock the ref
for being blind as Rollins bleeds from the mouth. Rollins hits a
Short-Arm Clothesline back in the ring. He tries another one but Ambrose
escapes. The two men run at one another and collide in mid-air. Rollins
gets to his feet, as does Ambrose. Ambrose hits some quick punches and
chops and some shoulder tacklers. The two men roll each other up several
times before Ambrose drops Rollins on his face, getting a near fall.
Ambrose gets up and splashes Rollins in the corner. Security pulls
Rollins out of the ring, so Ambrose dives at him and knocks him over the
announce table.
Ambrose
and Rollins get up. Ambrose tosses him back in the ring. Rollins tries a
backslide putting his feet on the ropes. Mercury gets on the mat and
yells at the ref for catching it. Ambrose rolls Rollins up. Rollins
kicks out and quickly hits a Superkick. Rollins goes top rope but
Ambrose gets up and punches at him. He tries for a Superplex but Rollins
grabs him for a Buckle Bomb. Ambrose fights out and both men spill
outside. Security tries to get involved and Rollins takes over again,
hitting the Buckle Bomb against the crowd barrier. He rolls Ambrose back
in the ring for a two count. Rollins hits a Flying Kneedrop for another
close fall. Ambrose gets up as does Rollins. He puts Ambrose in the
corner and taunts him. He runs at Ambrose, hitting a forearm. Ambrose
hangs on the second rope. Rollins picks him up and hits a clotheline in
the corner. Ambrose follows with his own. Rollins misses a splash.
Ambrose hits a DDT.
Ambrose
gets to his feet, ties Rollins up on the top rope again — but misses
the Flying Legdrop. Rollins sends Ambrose into the ropes for the Rebound
Clothesline. Two count. Ambrose goes top rope and hits a Flying Elbow
for a close fall. Ambrose gets up and picks up Rollins. Security gets
involved for the 47th time and Rollins takes over, sending Ambrose out
of the ring. He dives at Ambrose, then sends him back in. He tries the
Buckle Bomb but Ambrose hits a clothesline. Security and Kane get
involved. Ambrose beats them all back, then dives at all three of them.
Back in the ring, Ambrose gets to the top buckle but Rollins grabs the
official and it’s a ref bump. Several counters later, Ambrose hits Dirty
Deeds with no ref — but, WHOA! Here comes one — and Ambrose gets the
pin to win the title! Mark it around 21:25. Why do I suddenly get the
sneaking suspicion that this isn’t gonna stand…please don’t tell me
they’re going where I think they’re going…
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Dean Ambrose via Dirty Deeds
RATING: ***1/4. Severely overbooked. Please let this stand. Please don’t fuck this up. Please…
Post-match,
it’s a fucking Dusty Finish. The ref who wakes up says that Rollins
held on to him and Ambrose clocked him, so it’s a DQ with Ambrose the
winner. Still champion, however, is Rollins. Crowd is FURIOUS, chanting
“BULLSHIT” at the top of their lungs and I don’t blame them.

What’s
more fun than a Dusty Finish? Ambrose not giving up the title. So
Rollins, J&J and Kane do the mudhole stomp until Reigns finally
shows up to take the title away from Rollins, give it to Ambrose and
fight off Security, Rollins and Kane. Ambrose grabs a mic and says that,
as far as he’s concerned, he won the Championship — and he’s leaving
with it. Ambrose and Reigns escape into the crowd as Rollins screams at
Ambrose from inside the ring, so that makes up for things…but not by
much.
Here’s the amended results, if you care:
WINNER: Dean Ambrose via DQ
STILL CHAMPION: Seth Rollins
RATING:
**1/4. Andy PG pinged me on Facebook and weighed in, saying that the Ambrose/Rollins “rematch would be nuclear”. I totally agree — but this finish was ridiculous. It doesn’t ruin the show by any stretch — and I love the angle with Ambrose basically saying “fuck you” and taking off with the title which  — but, overbooking aside, the Dusty Finish was played out in the 80’s and it often pissed off a lot of people. This is no different. It’s bad enough that this is WWE fucking around with the booking for the second time with these two. You’ll recall last year when Ambrose and Rollins were scheduled to fight — but WWE dumped their match at the last second, pissing off fans who had paid to see them jump in the ring together.
We finally go off the air.
OVERALL:
Cena and Owens owned this show. It was the only thing on it that is
worthy of repeat viewings. The Tag Title match was decent but the Diva’s
match and IC Title match were cringe-worthy affairs. The big title
match wasn’t bad until the Dusty Finish which, while it makes Ambrose or
Rollins not look weak, it’s just another example of why fans have
issues with the current product. I will go **3/4 for the show as a
whole. One great match doesn’t correct everything else.
And, before we go…The Best of the Elimination Chamber Live thread:

Er…that’s it.

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