Impact Wrestling – May 15, 2015

Impact
Wrestling
Date: May 15, 2015
Location: Impact Zone,
Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh
Matthews, Mike Tenay
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re coming off the
big live show last week and rolling towards Slammiversary at the end
of June. The big story at the end of last week’s show was Angle
making Eric Young tap to retain the title, presumably to end their
feud. Other than that we have the continuing story of the Rising vs.
the BDC as Drew Galloway was beaten down by a pipe last week. Let’s
get to it.

We open with a recap of
Angle vs. Young, who tonight will lead two teams in a hardcore war.
Good grief just get to Carter vs. Angle already.
Here are Angle and
Chris Melendez to start things off. Angle talks about going to war
with Young last week, but Eric sided with the BDC. Well now Kurt has
backup of his own, including Chris Melendez. He needs a bit more
though, so Angle would like the Rising to come out here right now.
Kurt calls them a breath of fresh air in this company as they try to
eliminate a cancer calling itself the BDC.
Galloway praises Angle
a bit but likes the look of that World Title. Angle likes the idea
but here’s Eric Young to say he got ripped off last week. Kind of
like we’re getting ripped off from having a good World Title
challenger. Young was ripped off by the guest referee so he’s owed
another title shot. He goes on and on until Angle tells him to shut
up because the stupidity caught him last week.
Angle tells him to shut
up again and offers Young a title shot in an I Quit match. That’s
for the future though because tonight is about hardcore. Cue the BDC
to go after everyone in the ring. Young comes in to help with the
beat down but Lashley comes out to complete Angle’s team and make the
save. So it’s going to be a twelve man hardcore war later tonight?
That’s a bit excessive no?
Brooke/Rebel
vs. Dollhouse
Marti/Jade here. Rebel
is described as a former member of the Menagerie. The Dollhouse
cleans house to start with Marti hammering on Rebel in the ring.
It’s quickly off to Jade for some knees to the head. The double
teaming continues as Matthews confirms that the Menagerie is no more.
Dang it I always like that act. Brooke comes in off the hot tag and
fires off some forearms as everything breaks down. Rebel misses
Christy’s old Flying Firecrotch Guillotine (yep) and a double slam
(think a chokeslam but lifting under the arms instead of by the
throat) is enough to give the Dollhouse the pin at 3:57.
Rating:
C-. The wrestling wasn’t much
but I’m digging the Dollhouse more and more every single week. Taryn
is perfect as the borderline psycho leader, but the supporting cast
is cool too as they can both go in the ring. Rebel and Brooke are
fine as the good looking jobbers for them and the match was fine for
what it was.
Post
match Taryn says she has play time scheduled with Gail Kim’s family.
The BDC and Eric Young
are texting Homicide but he won’t be here tonight. MVP has a
replacement but Young has someone better. King doesn’t trust him but
MVP wants the crazy man on his side instead of against him.
Here are Ethan Carter
III and Tyrus with the former wondering how he isn’t #1 contender
after the former #1 contender lost to the champion last week. He
wants answers but gets Mr. Anderson with a chair instead. Anderson
is disappointed when they leave because he wants to fight someone
tonight. They start to walk but Anderson suggests a match with
Tyrus. If he wins, he gets Carter in the future. After some
swearing insults at Tyrus, the big man says get a referee out there.
Mr.
Anderson vs. Tyrus
Anderson hammers away
to start but gets run over for two. A Big Ending gets two and Tyrus
slams him down again for the same. Carter tries to bring in the
chair but gets ejected, allowing Anderson to play possum and counter
the spike into the Mic Check for the pin at 4:36.
Rating:
D. Really, really dull match
here and yet another instance of stretching out a feud before we get
to the beyond obvious Angle vs. Carter feud for the title. This one
is far more interesting than the Young version but it’s clearly just
filling time because having more than a month build to what is likely
the Slammiversary main event doesn’t work.
We take a quick look
back at Magnus blasting Storm with the guitar last week.
Magnus wants Storm out
here right now but gets Abyss instead. The monster says there are
consequences for what you do and this week, Magnus’ consequences are
Abyss. It’s a brawl at ringside instead of a match with Abyss taking
over only to stop to throw in some barbecue equipment (cross
promotion with a Destination America show about barbecuing). Abyss
loads up the chokeslam but takes some tongs to the crotch, only to
have Manik try to come in. That earns him something like a
brainbuster but Khoya comes in with a walking stick to lay Magnus
out. Magnus eats a chokeslam for good measure.
Quick recap of the Tag
Team Title situation with the Wolves and Hardys having to vacate the
belts, setting up a best of five series between the Wolves and Dirty
Heels (I’m really not sure how to feel about that name) for the
belts.
Wolves
vs. Dirty Heels
That’s their official
name now and this is match #1 in the best of five series. It’s also
Edwards’ first match back from injury. Roode and Richards get things
going and for some reason the camera is zoomed in on Roode as they
get started. That goes nowhere so it’s off to Richards vs. Aries
with the Wolves taking over on Austin’s arm. Aries is driven into
Davey’s knee but sends him into the corner, allowing for the tag off
to Bobby.
A catapult sends Eddie
into a forearm from Aries, followed by the slingshot elbow for two.
The running dropkick in the corner is countered and Edwards hits a
dropkick of his own to put Roode down. There’s the hot tag to
Richards for the “make your opponent DDT his partner” spot (one
of the dumbest spots I’ve ever seen) before the powerbomb/Backstabber
is countered with a hurricanrana. Aries takes out the Wolves with a
suicide dive, followed by the corner dropkick to Richards. Davey is
still in it though and counters Roode’s spinebuster into a sunset
flip for the pin and the first match at 8:26.
Rating:
B. Good match here but they’re
still waiting to crank it up in the later matches. These are two of
the better teams in wrestling a the moment and seeing them fight five
times (perhaps with some gimmicks later on) is going to be really
entertaining and likely blown off at Slammiversary.
Galloway picks Micah
over Eli for the hardcore war tonight.
Taryn talks about going
to see Gail Kim’s stepdaughters earlier today. She’s also going to
show us what she’s wearing for Kim’s husband Robert.
Storm yells at the
Revolution for going after Magnus without permission. This is
between him and Mickie James and no one else.
Here’s the Dollhouse
again with Taryn in a robe. Taryn makes fun of Gail for being so
serious of a wrestler because the Dollhouse is making something
special. She has pictures of her with Gail’s stepdaughters who look
borderline terrified. But now, here’s what she’s wearing for Gail’s
husband. It’s some very revealing lingerie so here’s Gail, but Marti
asks why she’s so serious. Gail wants a match with Taryn but Taryn
brings up the husband again, meaning the fight is on with the
Dollhouse running.
Jesse
Godderz vs. Robbie E.
Robbie has straightened
his hair a bit. This is fallout from their brawl a few weeks ago and
they bump fists to start. That’s the highest impact of the match
though as Robbie grabs a rollup for the pin at 24 seconds.
Godderz wants to
restart the match so here we go again.
Jesse
Godderz vs. Robbie E.
Jesse throws him down
with authority but a majistral cradle is good enough to make Robbie
2-0 at 31 seconds.
Godderz wasn’t ready so
let’s do it one more time.
Jesse
Godderz vs. Robbie E.
The fans count the
seconds this time and Jesse celebrates a headlock. A dropkick gets
two with Jesse driving his forearm into Robbie’s face. Robbie comes
right back with a crucifix for the pin at 1:10.
Godderz is livid so he
hits Robbie in the head with the mic. He throws Robbie to the floor
and puts a chair around Robbie’s neck before driving it into the
post.
Angle fires up his team
for tonight. Eli Drake still doesn’t look happy.
Eric Young has a fifth
guy.
Mr. Anderson is having
something built to help deal with Tyrus.
Team
Angle vs. Team Young
Hardcore war, which
apparently means a gauntlet match, which seems to be Lethal Lockdown
minus the cage but with weapons. Low Ki with his pipe and Drew
Galloway with a pipe of his own start things up. First fall wins
with 90 second intervals and Team Young won the coin toss (duh) to
have the advantage. Low Ki loses his pipe early and Drew takes him
to the floor for some hard chops instead of laying pipe into him.
Kenny King is in next
with a weapon that is knocked out of his hands too quickly to notice.
Galloway eats some chops against the barricade as King pulls out a
cane to nail him in the back. Micah and a nightstick even things up
and the Rising takes over with the usual brawling. Eric Young is in
next with a trashcan lid (that is one CRAZY trashcan lid. Like, you
know your crazy Uncle Stu who thinks he’s Catherine Zeta-Jones? It’s
crazier than him) and he quickly sets up a Tower of Doom, but
Galloway sits up out of the Tree of Woe into a German suplex to take
everyone down.
Kurt Angle comes in
with what looks like another pipe but throws it down for a bunch of
Germans. We take a break and come back with MVP (kendo stick) and
Chris Melendez (another pipe) involved. Eric’s mystery partner, with
another kendo stick, is Bram. Team Young cleans house for a bit
until Lashley completes the field, meaning it’s now first fall wins.
Lashley avoids all of King’s kicks and plants him with a powerslam.
MVP’s Playmaker is
countered but Bram cracks Lashley in the head with a kendo stick,
setting up the Brighter Side of Suffering. Micah hits a Big Ending
(just like Tyrus earlier) but King springboards in to take him down.
That’s fine with Galloway who takes most of Team Young down with a
big flip dive over the ropes. Angle dives on everyone not named
Young or Melendez, leaving Eric to hit a quick piledriver for the pin
on Chris at 17:21.
Rating:
D+.
Basically this existed so it could exist. There was no real need for
this to be a gauntlet match or a hardcore match as a ten man tag
would have accomplished exactly the same thing. That’s the bad sign
for a gimmick: you can do the exact same thing without the gimmick
being in place. The match was nothing special though and really
could have done with being cut down to eight people.
Post
match Young rips off Melendez’s leg and chokes Angle out with it to
end the show.
Overall
Rating:
C. This show felt
really rushed and packed full of stuff. It felt like they were
cramming in as much stuff as they could and it brought down the good
stuff they were doing. You can see most of Slammiversary from here,
but some of it really isn’t that interesting. I mean, the Rising vs.
the BDC just keeps going with no real reason to exist. The
tag team series is good, but it’s not something that’s going to blow
the doors off the place until it gets closer to the end. The show
should be good, but the build isn’t great so far.
As
for tonight…..meh. The hardcore war didn’t do anything for me as
you have ten guys with weapons in a gauntlet format. Clearly that
just needs 100 minutes of build. The
battle of the BroMans could be good and they got through the whole
thing in like eight minutes so points for that. The
Anderson vs. Carter and Angle vs. Young feuds feel like they’re just
going for the sake of going, but Angle vs. Young seems to be moving
towards wrapping up. It’s a
decent enough show, but they’ve cooled way off in recent weeks.
Results
Dollhouse b.
Brooke/Rebel – Double lifting slam to Rebel
Mr. Anderson b. Tyrus –
Mic Check
Wolves b. Dirty Heels –
Sunset flip to Roode
Robbie E. b. Jesse
Godderz – Rollup
Robbie E. b. Jesse
Godderz – Majistral cradle
Robbie E. b. Jesse
Godderz – Crucifix
Team Young b. Team
Angle – Piledriver to Melendez
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