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Impact Wrestling – March 27, 2015

Impact
Wrestling
Date:
March 27, 2015
Location:
Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators:
Josh Matthews, Taz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re
finally back in America after a pretty awesome UK tour and the main
story is Kurt Angle defeating Lashley to win the World Title. As for
tonight, the big story is the return of Jeff Hardy from his annual “I
can’t go to Europe” leave for a showdown inside a cage against
James Storm. Let’s get to it.

We
open with a recap of Storm shoving Hardy off the cage a few weeks ago
to put him out of action.
Here
are Storm and Khoya for a chat to get things going. Storm says
tonight is supposed to be about Hardy’s revenge but Hardy isn’t here.
A few weeks back, Storm did exactly what he said he was going to do
when he put out Jeff and then last week he did the same to Matt.
Jeff Hardy is known for diving off cages so Storm just tried to help
him. The fans chant for Hardy so Storm pulls out a watermelon and
says this is Hardy before throwing it over the cage and out to the
floor.
This
brings out Jeff who says Storm did what no one else could do and put
him out for a bit, but Jeff is still standing. He wants to start
now, but here’s Manik to get in a cheap shot and lay Hardy out.
Storm orders Manik to break his arm but Jeff hits a twisting Stunner
to put Manik down. This brings out Abyss to send Jeff into the cage
but Hardy takes the chair away from Abyss and lays him out. Jeff
asks someone to lower the roof of the cage, which happens to be full
of weapons. The match is later tonight.
We
look at Austin Aries getting his Feast or Fired briefcase back,
allowing Spud to win the X-Division Title.
The
BDC says they can’t replace someone (meaning Joe) but MVP says it’s
time for Low Ki to get the X-Division Title back tonight.
Ad
for the Sting DVD set. How long has it been since they had a DVD
release?
Storm
sends Khoya to get rid of Jeff Hardy.
X-Division
Title: Low Ki vs. Rockstar Spud
Rematch
from last week’s “match”. I’m not the biggest Low Ki fan so
hopefully this doesn’t end Spud’s hot streak. It’s a slow start
until Ki takes him down to the mat for a hard kick to the ribs.
Spud’s chops have no effect but some right hands do. That’s the
extent of his offense though as Spud gets dropped again and keeps
shaking his head. A double stomp knocks Spud silly and he has to
beat a ten count back up.
Back
up and Spud snaps off some left hands followed by a dropkick as he
tries to speed things up. He plants Ki with a running DDT and takes
off the bowtie. Cue MVP and King for distractions to break up the
Underdog, but Drew Galloway distracts them, allowing Spud to small
Low Ki for the pin at 5:11.
Rating:
D. Spud got beaten up for most
of the match here before a fluke ending. I’ve never been a fan of
booking that makes the champion look weak and that’s exactly how Spud
came off. He doesn’t have the highest stature in the first place and
this isn’t the best way for him to look stronger. Drew vs. the BDC
isn’t the most interesting feud in the world either.
Post
break the BDC is still in the ring (oh joy) to rant about Galloway
and threaten to send him to the hospital. MVP wants Drew out here
right now and that’s exactly what he gets. Drew admits that he’s
both dumb and crazy because he’s still here after King hit him with a
pipe. He wants to know who will stand up with him tonight and asks
the fans if they’re tired of the BDC.
Drew
says they have a rising going on right now but King turns it into a
Braveheart analogy. Ki wants Low Ki right now and it’s on, with two
guys (the recently released Camacho and indy wrestler Shaun Ricker)
jumping in from the crowd for a three on three brawl. The newly
named Rising clear the ring. Great. ANOTHER faction.
Video
on Kong wanting to take Taryn Terrell’s Knockout Title.
The
BDC is ready to call someone to replace Joe.
Brooke
vs. Awesome Kong
Let
the squashing begin. Brooke fires off kicks to the leg but gets run
over by a standing clothesline. A front slam drops Brooke again
before King stands on her hair. Brooke even tries to fight back from
the mat but her forearms have no effect. Kong shrugs off some
clotheslines but the Awesome Bomb is countered (Kidman!) into a
faceplant. A top rope elbow gets two on Kong but she comes back with
a chokeslam and the Implant Buster for the pin at 4:15.
Rating:
D+.
I’m glad that they’re back to having Brooke just be eye candy instead
of having her do WACKY COMEDY with Robbie E. At least this match
made Kong look dominant instead of having her lose in a triple
threat, even though that’s the calling card of the Knockouts
division.
Kong
hits another Implant Buster and gets a table from under the ring.
Taryn comes in to hammer on
Kong, eventually putting her down with a missile dropkick and low
bridging her to the floor. Kong
shrugs all that off though and powerbombs Terrell through the table.
Video
on Lashley vs. Angle from last week.
Aries
implies he’s cashing in tonight.
Jeff
Hardy is talking about the match tonight when Khoya comes in. Hardy
fights him off and finds a conveniently placed ladder to get in even
more damage. Khoya tries to get up so Jeff breaks bottles over his
face. That’s a bit excessive.
Here’s
Kurt Angle for his championship celebration. He says this is title
#14 (it’s still a huge stretch Kurt) but this one is different. Kurt
talks about having to work this much harder to get here and it’s his
proudest moment thus far. Cue Ethan Carter III (FINALLY) to talk
about how Angle has inspired everyone in the back, even him.
Angle
did the impossible last week when he beat Lashley, but it seems
impossible to go 18 months undefeated and beat every TNA Hall of
Famer (minus D-Von but who cares about him anyway). Angle doesn’t
buy it but here’s Roode to interrupt as well. He wants his rematch
for the title and Angle doesn’t seem opposed to the idea. Angle
deserves this moment but it’s just a moment.
This
brings out Eric Young (of freaking course) to say he took the title
from Bobby Roode because he’s always been better than Bobby. Young
says the title goes through him but Austin Aries comes out carrying
the briefcase. After pointing out that Carter hasn’t won the title,
he opens the briefcase and reveals a bottle of champagne. The
question is who the toast is for. Angle says he’ll fight anyone
anywhere anytime. As he goes to leave, Lashley comes out to say it’s
his rematch time. That’s fine with Angle but a huge brawl breaks out
with all the people in the ring. We’re still not done because Mr.
Anderson comes out to join in.
Austin
Aries/Mr. Anderson/Bobby Roode vs. Ethan Carter III/Eric Young/Tyrus
Joined
in progress after a break with Carter in trouble. Roode catapults
Carter into a forearm from Aries for two before it’s off to Anderson
to stay on the arm. Off to Tyrus vs. Roode with the big man
suplexing Bobby down. Off to Carter to choke on the ropes before
putting on a chinlock. Young can’t get the piledriver as Roode
counters with a backdrop and makes the hot tag to Aries.
Everything
breaks down with Tyrus nailing Aries with a clothesline but Anderson
takes out the big man. Aries forearms Carter to the floor and hits
the suicide dive but Young posts Anderson. Back in and Roode
spinebusters Young down, setting up the 450 but Aries only hits mat.
He also bangs up his knee, allowing Young to slap on a Figure Four
for the submission at 7:26.
Rating:
C-. This match was a good
example of a lot of TNA’s problems in a single match: too many people
involved in a story and stuff happening WAY too fast. Set this up
for next week’s main event instead of just throwing everything
together at once. I like the idea of everyone wanting the belt as
it’s what wrestling is built on, but let things breathe a bit and
build the anticipation.
Here’s
Bram to call Magnus a coward over and over. Magnus has been sending
his old lady out here to fight his battles, but it makes sense as
she’s more of a man than he’ll ever be. A mention of Magnus’ son is
enough to bring Magnus himself out to say this is about to become
more than anyone can handle. Bram promises to make Mickie cry, but
she says they’ll be tears of joy when Bram is beaten all around the
Impact Zone.
That’s
what Bram wanted to hear, because he thinks Mickie will have to go
back to an empty house. Don’t worry though because his door is
always open. It’s on now but a low blow puts Magnus down. Bram
grabs Mickie and tries to make her kiss his boot before just trying
to kiss her instead.
Magnus
gets back up and suplexes him down before beating Bram with that
wrench Bram carries. They go to leave but Mickie has to get in some
shots of her own. This is still an awesome story and the promos are
on fire. It also helps that it’s something relatable. Instead of a
cult leader messing with a psychedelic daredevil, it’s a man
defending his family.
Angle
says he beat Lashley once but beating him again will be tough. He
won’t be intimidated though.
James
Storm vs. Jeff Hardy
Inside
the cage with weapons and Storm blasts him with a trashcan before the
bell. Hardy quickly fights back and sends him into some buckles.
Poetry in Motion with a chair connects once but misses the second
time to give Storm control again. Back with Matthews telling us
which guy is which and recapping the events that set this up in about
ten seconds. I miss basic announcing like that and it’s so
refreshing to hear it again. Storm tells the fans to shut up and
gets taken down by a running clothesline. The Swanton hits knees
though and the Eye of the Storm gets two.
Closing
Time into a Backstabber sets up the Last Call but Storm wants the
cowbell. Hardy takes it away and hits Storm with it, setting up the
Swanton for two. Back up and Storm goes up top so Jeff grabs the top
of the cage for some dropkicks into a hurricanrana for another near
fall. They’re just going spot to spot at this point. Some trashcan
lid shots to the head and a cowbell shot look to set up the Swanton
but Jeff monkey bars across the top into a swinging Vader Bomb (minus
the pumping) for the pin at 14:55.
Rating:
C+. Fun match but there are
some issues here, starting with the weapons. A single moment a few
weeks ago really doesn’t warrant a gimmick cage match in the first
match back for Jeff. Where is this feud supposed to go? That’s one
of TNA’s long running issues: knowing how to end a feud. This is
probably going to continue for weeks after the big match happened
early on. Still though, it was a fun match, assuming you can ignore
the parts that didn’t need to be there.
After
a preview for next week, we get a nice In Memory Of graphic for Perro
Aguayo Jr. WWE didn’t do that.
Overall
Rating:
C. This show was a
great example of one of TNA’s major problems flaring up again: they
don’t know how to calm down and let things breathe. Look at earlier:
we have three stables, a gimmick cage match, a falls count anywhere
match next week, and a World Title match next week. That kind of
stuff should fill up six weeks, not two shows. Let the show take its
time instead of firing off everything at once and see how much better
the builds are. It’s a good show this week with Magnus and Bram as
the highlights, but these shows wear me out more often than not and
that’s more like Raw than anything else.
Results
Rockstar
Spud b. Low Ki – Small package
Awesome
Kong b. Brooke – Implant Buster
Eric
Young/Ethan Carter III/Tyrus vs. Bobby Roode/Austin Aries/Mr.
Anderson – Figure four to Aries
Jeff
Hardy b. James Storm – Swinging splash from the roof of the cage
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
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