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BoD RAW

This has nothing to do with the WWE





After winning the Riverdale Block Party Brawl at BoD Fastlane, GM Bayless and his Administration have reclaimed their office. The Riverdale Covenant are no longer occupying the office as their leader, Archie Stackhouse, was in a house that was blown up by Jesse Baker. Lets check out the Administration as they re-acclimate themselves:


GM: (Still Selling his injuries from the BoD Rumble) Well, it did not happen as I thought it would, but here we are, back again. Justice Gray, you did a fine job in my absence (Rest of the Administration applaud). Now, after beating the Riverdale Covenant on their home turf, I am confident that we can beat them on our home turf. (Looks at Bill Ray) Being the crown jewel of the Authority, I will choose you to represent us as you take on the lead soldier of the Riverdale, Robert Davis. And at BoD Mania II, you will face off. If you win, the Covenant is mine. And in the rare chance that you lose, I will step down from my role as the GM. But, with you under my wing and the Administration by your side, there is no way you will lose. You know how I take care of the Administration. And yes, at the BoD Rumble when I accidentally eliminated you, I was wrong. I even lost some sleep. But, that will not stop me as I help groom you into the BoD’s top star of the future. Now, will you accept this match on behalf of the Administration, who want you to lead us?


Ray: (looks around then pauses)…….yes, I do accept. 


GM: (smiles then approaches Ray) You made a great choice. After BoD Mania, the Riverdale Covenant will end up just like Archie Stackhouse. They will be a thing of the past. Buried six-feet under. Blown into smithereens. After BoD Mania, the Administration will regain some former members that have left and they will be punished. They will be dealt with later. As for now, I have to make decisions regarding the BoD Money on the Table Match at BoD Mania II. 


(The rest of the Administration leave as GM Bayless and Gray stay behind)






Hart Killer vs. Phrederic

Hart Killer is coming out in a vintage Garea ’81 coat as he holds a 10 lbs bag of rotten kiwifruit. He is focused on making sure Kaptain Kiwi and his legendary mentor, Sir Tony Garea of Auckland, New Zealand. Match starts with Hart Killer trying to attack Phrederic from behind but he fails. Phrederic fires away then sends Hart Killer to the floor with a clothesline. Phrederic rolls Hart Killer back inside and gets two off of a gutbuster. He tries for a backdrop but Hart Killer boots him in the face then takes him down with a super kick. Hart Killer then works over the back before putting on the Sharpshooter, making Phrederic tap out. After the match, Hart Killer breaks the hold then starts stomping Phrederic’s arm. He is refusing to stop and even shoves down the referee. Hart Killer now drapes the arm of Phrederic over the apron and kicks it a few more times then grabs the bag of rotten kiwifruit and starts bashing it against the arm of Phrederic. Hart Killer finally stops then laughs as he pulls out a can of Anchor Cheese, the finest processed can cheddar in all of New Zealand, that has his face on the label as he shoves it towards the camera lens, screaming about how he is the new face of Anchor Cheese. He then turns it around as it reads “RIP JOHNNY,” which is in reference to Sir Tony’s older brother Johnny, who will die if Kaptain Kiwi does not win the BoD Solid B+ Player Title at BoD Mania II so he can win the Anchor Cheese endorsement deal that will give Tony the money to pay for Johnny’s treatments. Does Hart Killer have a heart?

Backstage, Strike Force are warming up. Mar Solo is running around with two pots of coffee as he is too hyper for the Stair Master as Matt Indeed repeatedly takes off his windbreaker as to not get his arms caught in his sleeves again. All of a sudden, Curtzerker and Biff Kensington III walk by:

BKIII: Well, you two again. You know, if you beat us, you could have gone to BoD Mania II to face off against the champs. But, you just couldnt get it done. We got the win, and you got the Hoss. Whoops…..haha, I mean you got the loss. 


The Berzerker: HUSS HUSS HUSS HUSS!!!!!!!!!


Mar Solo (Running around like a crystal meth tweaker) LETS TALK ABOUT THIS OVER COFFEE!!!!!!!! (Coffee spilling everywhere as the others are getting burned). 


BKIII: Well, we have a match coming up next. Have fun with your coffee and Chrysler Lebaron. 


As they leave, Matt Indeed stares them down as Mar Solo is going apeshit on the Stair Master. 






Backstage, “Marvelous” Matt Perri and Miss Danielle are walking around backstage in a disguise as they are afraid that the Stranger will find them. They panic when the lights went out briefly but it was just because Perri hit the switch by accident. The duo scurry away as the camera pans out as we see a trail of mist travel by………..





Curtzerker w/ Biff Kensington III vs. “Happening” Harry Broadhurst & Jose Gomez



Before the match, Broadhurst alerts us that he has re-written the book on Harry Facts and will introduce fact #1 tonight. Match starts as the HUSS section is in full effect. The Berzerker tries to make his way over but BKIII directs him back on the apron. Williams beats on Gomez for a bit then tags the Berzerker, who HUSSES as he chops away. He then looks over at the HUSS Section as they get louder and louder. BKIII orders him to attack as Gomez tries for a tag but Broadhurst pulls away his hand then grabs the mic as he gives us Harry Fact #1 ” HARRY NEVER DOES THE JOB!!!!!!” Williams tags and puts Gomez in the HUSS lock as The Berzerker loudly HUSSES in the face of Gomez, who taps out. Afterwards, a few members of the HUSS section run out and celebrate with The Berzerker, who HUSSES back at them until the fans are tackled by White Coat Security.

The Midcard Mafia are backstage. Nick Piers signs a copy of his work, “The Armadillo Mysteries” for a young fan as Steve Ferrari walks by.

Ferrari: Wow, you get the Tag Team Titles and write a book and now you think you are a big shot?
Piers: Dude, I thought we were cool?
Ferrari: (Intense look then laughs) Man, I was messing with you (shakes his hand). As a matter of fact, I have a celebration  planned for us tonight. 
Magoonie: Whoa, that sounds like a lot of money. We are just midcarders. I got just $3.76 for my BoD Mania Video Game check so the GM can park in a heated garage for the Winter. 
Ferrari: I got some extra cash after I bet on the Williams College Soap Box Derby. We are going to a lounge across the street. 
Piers: Do they have two-fers? Or do you have a coupon
Ferrari: No, lets go party in style. 






Andy PG heads over to GM Bayless. He asks him about having a battle royal to honor Officer Farva at BoD Mania II. GM says that seems like a fine idea and that at the show, there will be a 30-Man battle royal.






In the ring stand the Upper Midcard Express. They each have a microphone as they are yelling for a rematch. But it is not the music of the Midcard Mafia but rather a sad trombone solo of jobbers Slip Karstens and the Immortal, Bop Watkins. The UMX are still talking over each other as they demand a match.

Upper Midcard Express vs. Slip Karstens & Bop Watkins


The UMX destroy their lowly opponents. Petuka picks up Watkins and hits a Petuka Bazooka. kbjone then hits Karstens with the One-and-Done then they race over to see who can make the pin first as the ref coutns to three and they both celebrate, believing they are the winners. Petuka says that he won the match as kbjone said he won the match as they now argue as to who did in fact score the pin against the two scrubs. These two are now yelling in each others faces.

Backstage, DBSM and the C-List Posse are about to prepare for their Fantasy Baseball League. The others console DBSM as last night he lost his chance at an undefeated season in the BoD Fantasy Hockey League. Anyway, who is the commissioner of the league, none other than failed San Francisco Giants Catching prospect, Steve Decker! Wow, you cant get more C-List than that.




Biscuit walks by and see the league forming as DBSM makes it a point to tell him that he is not on the list. Mark Linn Baker even gets in a jab at Biscuit, saying that he would never get into Tina Yothers’ party by driving a beat up Buick Regal. The C-Listers now laugh as they head into the draft room as Biscuit looks on in anger as he clutches onto his dinner, a pair of Slim Jims.

Next week, the Job Mob will be here in full effect as they are currently celebrating after retaining their titles at BoD Fastlane.

Also next week, BoD Medical Professional, Miss Diagnosis, will be on air and say whether or not Kaptain Kiwi will be able to perform at BoD Mania

Backstage, Abeyance is with GM Bayless. He asks for a title shot but Cultstatus runs up and scoots him away. Cult demands a rematch against Jobber. GM Bayless tells Cult he can wait his turn as Abeyance speaks up but Cult cuts him off, asking him what he has ever done to get a rematch. Abeyance then tells Cult that he almost won but Cult again cuts him off to say that he is not in his league and that they have nothing in common but Abeyance says that they do because they both lost to Jobber. Cult gets furious and asks Abeyance who has he ever beat. Abeyance says he can beat anyone as Cult laughs and walks away. Abeyance then tells the GM that he wants a match next week. The GM says he will think about it.

Bill Ray is backstage. He is with Rockstar Gary and a possibly drunk Average Joe Everyman. He asks them about this match and if he made the right decision. Gary tells him that he did and that he can finally end the Riverdale Covenant once and for all. Ray says that might be a good thing then looks over in his locker and sees the Letterman’s jacket that was placed in his locker room. It appears that Ray is conflicted.

Jef Vinson vs. Paul Meekin


Vinson comes out here as he is determined. Vinson comes out swinging at the Meekster. He hits him with some combos in the corner. Vinson gets caught with a knee as he charges then Meekin gets two off of a slam. Meekin sets up for the Earthquake splash but Vinson rolls away. Vinson is up first then slides underneath Meekin and hits a dropkick. Vinson tries for the TKO but fails as Meekin blocked that move. Meekin hits some chops and throat thrusts then whips Vinson into the corner but Meekin misses a splash then Vinson drops him with an uppercut for the win. He celebrates but wait just a minute!!! The Job Mob run in from the stands. They ambush him but Vinson fights them off. The Job Mob then overpower Vinson as they have him down on the mat. Theye get a table and lay Vinson across and hold him in place as Zanatude tries a top rope splash but Vinson breaks free as Zanatude crashes through. Vinson then drops Chartock and Murph as he leaves. The Job Mob were obviously sent here by Jobber but Vinson escaped. Will he do so every week until BoD Mania II?

TUNE IN NEXT WEEK TO FIND OUT