Monday Nitro – August 30, 1999

Monday
Nitro #203
Date: August 30, 2015
Location: Nassau
Veterans Memorial Coliseum, Uniondale, New York
Attendance: 10,605
Commentators: Bobby
Heenan, Tony Schiavone
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We’re two weeks away
from Fall Brawl and I don’t think we’ve had any matches announced
yet. What we do have though is Sid Vicious as the focal point of the
company and Sting, Hogan and Goldberg suddenly as best friends
against the combination of Sid and Rick Steiner. I keep thinking
this show can’t get worse but they keep surprising me. Let’s get to
it.

Disorderly Conduct
vs. Dave Taylor/Steven Regal
Yes
we’re starting with a match and just bring in Sid already. Mike
jumps Regal to start but gets taken down by a drop toehold. It’s off
to Taylor vs. Tom with Dave hooking a butterfly suplex….and here he
comes.
Four powerbombs to Mike
and Tom later and Sid is still ranting about being the Millennium
Man.
Lenny
and Lodi aren’t allowed in the building until Lenny reminds security
that he’s the Cruiserweight Champion. It’s not funny or interesting
when you watch it either.
Recap of last week’s
major events.
Nitro Girls.
Time
for a Sid discussion as Tony compares his streak to Goldberg’s.
Goldberg won the US Title in his 75th
match, even though Sid is now up in the 80s. Thankfully that means
they won’t be stupid enough to have him beat Benoit for the title or
anything like that……right?
The Demon will be here
later.
Here’s Luger to say he
doesn’t buy Hogan’s turn around. Tonight he’ll show irrefutable
evidence that Hogan is lying.
Berlyn arrives with
security and his version of Lana.
Video on KISS and the
Demon.
Scotty Riggs vs.
Lash LeRoux
Riggs
takes him up to the ropes and smacks Lash in the face as the mind
warped fans want Sid. Scotty nails that great dropkick but gets
monkey flipped over for his efforts. A jawbreaker and running knee
keep Lash in trouble as it’s clear to see why neither of these guys
went anywhere. Lash gets two off a sunset flip but takes a pair of
clotheslines. Cue Vampiro and the Clowns to watch as Lash gets two
more off a northern lights suplex, only to eat a Fameasser for the
pin.
Rating:
D-.
So they interrupt Regal and Taylor after about two minutes but this
match gets twice that long? Neither of these guys give me any reason
to keep watching, which is exactly why they’re on in the unopposed
hour designed to make people stick around when Raw comes on. WCW
really needed some major roster cuts around this time to get rid of a
bunch of these guys.
Vampiro
says Riggs owes him something.
Here’s the Revolution,
now with their own shirts. After a lame attempt to get the crowd to
care from Shane, Saturn issues a challenge for the TV Title at Fall
Brawl and Benoit issues an open challenge for the same show. I
really don’t see this ending well for either guy.
Nitro Girls.
Kaz Hayashi vs. Lodi
Lenny’s
Cruiserweight Title now has a bow and tassels. He also seems to have
a thing for Kaz, which Lodi is totally cool with. Lodi accidentally
clotheslines Lenny to the floor, allowing Kaz to botch a
headscissors. A slingshot DDT looks far better and gets two with
Lenny putting the foot on the ropes. With the match starting to go
well, we get a split screen countdown clock for the Mayhem video
game, which comes out in October. This will stay up for about half
the match.
That
earns him a big dive from Hayashi but Lodi gets up and dives onto
both of them. Could this be, dare I say, a sign of things to come
for Lodi? Back in and Lodi powerslams him for two but Kaz escapes a
German suplex and scores with a quick brainbuster. Kaz goes up but
Lenny crotches him down, setting up a middle rope bulldog for two
more. Lenny comes in…..and gets small packaged for the pin? Sure
why not.
Rating:
C.
So let me make sure I’ve got this straight: they managed to job the
Cruiserweight Champion in a match he wasn’t even in? Even WWE can’t
pull off that kind of nonsense. The match was actually entertaining
with Lodi more than keeping up with the high flier Hayashi. It would
seem that Kaz is going to challenge for the title next. That’s fine
based on his skills, but this is a pretty big downgrade from Kidman,
Mysterio, Guerrera and Guerrero.
Lenny
and Lodi lay Kaz out post match.
Here’s
Hogan to a massive New York reaction. I’ll give the old WWF towns
this: they’re the most loyal fans in the world. If you’re ever over
there, you will be until the end of time. It was his son that made
him believe in the power of Hulkamania again brother and he would
NEVER stab Sting in the back. He can’t wait to see this proof from
Luger, so he’ll be sitting in the back, eating fruit (his words) and
waiting. Luger better not try to frame him either.
Hogan
and Flair have new home videos. I only mention this because a piano
starts playing, distracts them, and then stops abruptly.
La
Parka/Blitzkrieg vs. Rey Mysterio Jr./Eddie Guerrero
Eddie’s
stoic look during Rey’s high energy entrance makes me chuckle. La
Parka’s skeleton is red and he starts with Mysterio. First up
though, it’s time to dance. Rey slaps La Parka in the face and sends
him to the floor, bringing in Eddie to throw his partner to the floor
for a tornado DDT. Blitzkrieg takes Eddie down and hits a rolling
senton followed by a moonsault for two, only to walk into a
tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for the same. Back to Mysterio for a
Lionsault on Blitzkrieg before he pulls La Parka down by the mask. A
chop puts Rey down and a Hart Attack with Blitzkrieg kicking Rey
instead of clotheslining him gets two.
Vampiro
and the Clowns come out again as heel miscommunication allows the hot
tag to Eddie. Everything breaks down and Eddie hits a gorgeous top
rope hurricanrana to Blitzkrieg. Blitzkrieg misses a handspring into
a moonsault and gets caught on the top, allowing Eddie to launch Rey
into another hurricanrana. Eddie tosses Rey over the top onto La
Parka, setting up the Frog Splash to Blitzkrieg for the pin.
Rating:
B.
Really, really fun tag match here which somehow didn’t even make it
four minutes. This continues the trend of letting talented high
fliers get into the ring and jump around for a little while. That
hurricanrana from Eddie was absolutely perfect and some of the high
flying looked great. And somehow it’s all designed to get the Clowns
over, because WCW.
Berlyn
video, followed by Berlyn and his Lana (Uta Ludendorf), flanked by
security. Through the interpreter, Berlyn brags about Germany being
awesome and says his wrestling is art. Fan: “WE WANT ALEX WRIGHT!”
It’s so loud that everyone in the ring looks over at him. A
consortium of German businessmen have turned him into the perfect
wrestler and his first victim is Buff Bagwell.
Buff
represents everything bad about America and will be a good first
victory. The interpreter acknowledges that Berlyn speaks English and
has indeed been here before, but that language is beneath him. She
forgets her line and says losing is…….it is not acceptable!
She’s no Lana.
Fall
Brawl video, featuring Savage, Nash, Hart and Steiner.
A banged up Luger comes
out and says someone in red and yellow attacked him and went through
his bags. No word on if the evidence was taken, or why Lex Luger is
in a major storyline in 1999.
Tag Team Titles:
Kendall Windham/Barry Windham vs. Prince Iaukea/Kenny Kaos
This
would be the WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE THEY THINKING AND WHERE IS THE
REMOTE match of the week. Kendall takes Prince up to the ropes as
Tony describes the champs as a new duo. That’s up there with Gorilla
Monsoon calling Carlos Colon a youngster. Iaukea fires off a quick
dropkick but eats a boot to the face. A jumping DDT knocks Prince
silly and Kendall throws him outside. Back in and a knee drop
retains the titles. No one ever made a tag.
Post
match Barry says the champs have no competition, including Harlem
Heat. This brings out Booker and Stevie for a lot of kicks, one
leading to the referee counting a pin on Kendall. The Rednecks come
out and beat down Harlem Heat, including hog tying Booker. The feud
continues for some reason.
Here
are Luger and Sting to present Lex’s evidence. The evidence is a
picture of Hogan standing next to a white Hummer, proving that he was
the one that tried to kill Nash. We’re still on that story??? Hogan
comes out and says the obvious, that this doesn’t prove anything.
Sting believes Luger and questions Hogan, but here’s DDP to nail
Hogan before running off. Sting asks Hogan why he should believe
him.
Nitro Girls.
Van Hammer vs. Buff
Bagwell
The
bell rings and that means it’s time to pose. Buff grabs an armdrag
and we’ve got Germans. The distraction lets Hammer choke Bagwell (to
be fair though, anything shiny, including Berlyn’s head, is going to
distract him) but Buff scores with a hiptoss and clothesline. Buff
goes up top and gets slammed down from the top by the neck. That’s
quite the painful looking move. They head outside for a quick
beating from Hammer before we hit the chinlock. Our hero hits Hammer
low and gets two off a cross body, setting up the Blockbuster for the
pin.
Rating:
D.
So let me make sure I have this straight: we’re supposed to care
about a guy who used a Blockbuster to win a boxing match beating a
guy who used to be a peace loving hippie to set up for his match
against what might be a Neo Nazi and used to be a dancer. This is
one of those stories that you don’t want to see, and then when you
explain it, your head starts to hurt.
Clip
of Nash being crushed by the Hummer, nearly three months ago.
Insane Clown Posse CD
ad.
Mike Enos vs. Evan
Karagias
For
some reason Evan wears jeans to the ring and takes them off to
wrestle. Evan scores with a pair of dropkicks to start and a third
sends Enos to the floor where Karagias hits a fourth dropkick. His
springboard dive is caught in midair though and Mike throws him over
the shoulder to walk him up the steps and back into the ring. That
kind of power display is always impressive. Granted it’s not as
impressive as knowing how many seconds there are until Mayhem comes
out.
The
fans are begging Sid to come out and end this match. Well Enos was
in the match when Hall jumped the railing to debut so why not have
Sid do it here? Evan hammers away and gets countered into a big
powerbomb followed by a powerslam. Mike picks him up off the cover
though and hits a wicked piledriver. Good grief Vampiro and the
Clowns are back. The Clowns distract the referee, allowing Vampiro
to kick Mike in the head, giving Karagias the pin.
Rating:
D+.
The match wasn’t even that bad but my goodness I don’t want to see
Vampiro and the Clowns any more. They’ve been out here three times
now and we had to see them plug their CD. At the end of the day,
they’re not wrestlers and they’re not driving the ratings through the
roof, so why does WCW insist on driving them down our throats and
give them all this TV time?
Vampiro
gets in his face and says Evan owes him. Cue the Demon, who says
this isn’t the time for Vampiro. Do they even know what this is
supposed to mean?
Hugh Morrus/Brian
Knobbs vs. Dean Malenko/Shane Douglas
Because
this feud needs to keep going. Knobbs calls the Revolution a bunch
of crybabies and you know it’s time for a fight. The First Family
takes over and give Douglas the Pit Stop. Morrus and Knobbs hit
running splashes in the corner until Dean comes in, presumably out of
boredom. Everything breaks down and Malenko puts Brian in the
Cloverleaf, only to have to deal with Jimmy Hart. Morrus and Knobbs
take Dean down on the floor but Hugh misses No Laughing Matter to
Douglas. Shane even dives off the top to take out all the heels but
it winds up being a double countout.
Rating:
D.
WHY IS THE REVOLUTION FEUDING WITH THE FIRST FREAKING FAMILY??? You
have the Windhams as the Tag Team Champions (which is an even bigger
headscratcher) talking about how they have no competition, but
Malenko and Douglas, one of the only face teams on the roster not
names Harlem Heat, is busy going to double countouts with Brian
Knobbs and Hugh Morrus. We could also have Mysterio and Guerrero
challenge for the titles, but they’re busy fighting a pair of
non-wrestler Clowns. The more I step back and look at this company,
the more my head throbs.
They
keep fighting to the back and I hope this doesn’t go on to Fall
Brawl.
Gene
brings out Hogan to continue this thrilling story about him standing
next to a car at some point in his life. He mentions his son (who
should never be allowed near a car) and promises to deal with Luger
next week. Instead, he wants to deal with DDP calling him out every
week. He’s right you know. Starting with this show, Page
has…..actually he didn’t call him out as much as hit him from
behind. Hogan is a liar. Anyway, Goldberg is supposed to face Page
tonight but Hogan wants to take his place in the match. Goldberg
comes out and suggests a handicap match, which Page comes out to
accept. Another bait and switch.
TV
Title: Disco Inferno vs. Rick Steiner
Before
the match, Disco says he’s living la vida loca and is pretty fly for
a white guy. Dang 1999 was a weird time. Rick comes out and decks
Disco with a Steiner Line before ripping at his face. The German
suplex sends Disco flying and the Steiner Bulldog ends this in a
hurry.
Steiner
puts on the armbar but Saturn runs out to superkick the champ to the
floor.
US Title: Chris
Benoit vs. Jerry Flynn
Jerry
wants the champ to be checked for weapons but it’s a RUSE as he kicks
Benoit in the head. Another kick is countered by the dragon screw
leg whip because Benoit doesn’t put up with cheating. He drops Flynn
over the top rope to send him outside, setting up a nice baseball
slide. Jimmy Hart offers a distraction to keep earning his paycheck
and Flynn kicks the champ’s knee to take over. He unleashes the
kicks but Benoit avoids a big running boot in the corner and fires
off chops. Benoit rolls some Germans but the First Family runs in
for the DQ.
Rating:
D+.
So the Revolution vs. the First Family is more than just the tag
feud? Great, the stupidity is spreading. Here’s the thing: you have
three members of the First Family in action tonight and they all
escape without getting pinned or submitting? Including to the United
States Champion? How does this make me care about seeing them again?
Am I supposed to care about Hugh Morrus, Brian Knobbs and Jerry
Flynn? This company’s priorities are so screwed up.
The
Revolution makes the save and Benoit challenges Sid for Fall Brawl.
So much for the open challenge.
Goldberg/Hulk Hogan
vs. Jersey Triad
Buffer
does the intros and Kanyon does his usual schtick. Bigelow hammers
Hogan down to start, like 1987 means nothing to him. Hulk comes back
with right hands and the Triad is knocked to the floor. The fans
want and get Goldberg, who gets to suplex Kanyon. A gorilla press
into a World’s Strongest Slam crushes Kanyon again but a Bigelow
distraction lets Page come in with a top rope clothesline.
Bigelow pounds away on
his back as the Triad starts taking turns. Kanyon’s Russian legsweep
into an elbow from Page is good for two, but Goldberg comes back with
a double clothesline. The hot tag brings in Hogan to clean house as
Tony acts like this has never been done before. Hogan boots and
legdrops Bigelow for the pin as Page hits Goldberg with a chair and a
Diamond Cutter. Goldberg pops up and Page is terrified.
Rating:
D.
Here’s the problem with this match: did it ever feel like Hogan or
Goldberg couldn’t beat these three on their own? This was just a
workout for Goldberg and Hogan before they can get on to something
more important. It really shows the gap between the levels of
competition as the main event scene is miles ahead of even former
World Champions like Page. This was a glorified squash with Goldberg
being nice enough to sell for about a minute.
We
jump to the back where Sting is asking security if Hogan is in his
locker room. My goodness I know Sting is seen as stupid at times but
this is ridiculous. Anyway he goes into Hogan’s locker room to find
Randy Savage and Gorgeous George to end the show.
Overall
Rating:
D.
More than any other episode, this show was incredibly frustrating and
showed that WCW doesn’t care about going forward as much as it cares
about keeping the old guys happy. There are so many talented people
locked in feuds designed to either keep them busy so they can’t move
up the card (Revolution) or so they can babysit niche celebrities who
want to wrestle (Eddie and Rey).
On
the other side of the card, there’s the story of who was driving the
Hummer and is Hogan really evil. That actually isn’t the worst story
in the world and I’m kind of interested in seeing where it goes. The
problem I have with it is how Lex Luger is the only person showing
the slightest bit of common sense or continuity. Hogan has screwed
over every major name on the roster at some point (the Fingerpoke of
Doom and beatdown of Goldberg was less than eight months ago) and no
one but Luger is questioning Hogan whatsoever. That’s hard to
accept, at least so quickly.
Overall,
the company is running out of gas and is dying for some fresh blood
at the top. However, they’re content with Hogan, Goldberg (who is
fresh enough), Sting, Steiner and Sid as their top names while the
rest of the roster is shackled to whatever stupid stories they can
come up with. It’s very clear that Benoit is going to drop the US
Title to Sid, because Benoit’s push was clearly just until WCW could
find a way to get the title back into the main event talent’s hands
so they could “draw” with it. You can see the future coming from
here and it’s terrifying.
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