Monday Nitro – August 16, 1999

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Monday
Nitro #201
Date: August 16, 1999
Location: World Arena,
Colorado Springs, Colorado
Attendance: 7,218
Commentators: Tony
Schiavone, Bobby Heenan
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
Road Wild has come and
gone and thank goodness for that. It was three hours of bad
wrestling with nothing happening and a bunch of celebrities not
making enough of a splash to validate taking the spots from the other
guys. We’re heading towards Fall Brawl now and I can’t imagine that
show being any worse than Road Wild. Somehow I have a feeling I’ll
be surprised though. Let’s get to it.

Tony is immediately
praising Hogan for his glorious win Saturday. He also throws in that
Sid is now 55-0 since returning. I’m guessing the idea is parodying
Goldberg’s streak going so high so fast, because why shouldn’t they
mock something they came up with and got over so strong? Sid gets a
World Title shot tonight.
Stills of Sid beating
Sting at the PPV, leading into this match.
Juventud
Guerrera vs. Lash LeRoux
They trade crowd
reactions to start and I don’t think most of them know who LeRoux is.
Feeling out process to start with Lash dropping down into the splits
and nailing Juvy with a clothesline. As thrilling as this is, the
announcers mention that we’re getting Rick Steiner vs. Brian Knobbs
for the TV Title tonight. There are no words. Anyway Juvy loads up
a hurricanrana but gets countered into a powerbomb which is countered
into a pinfall reversal sequence. I won’t bother telling you who
gets the last near fall as Sid comes in to chokeslam Juvy and
powerbomb Lash twice.
Sid wants a double
cheeseburger with onions. Or maybe Goldberg. You never can tell
with his interviews.
Steve
Regal vs. Scotty Riggs
Regal knocks him back
with a European uppercut, Riggs knees him into the corner, Sid comes
down for the usual power moves for the no contest.
Hogan vs. Nash video.
Mike
Enos vs. Cat
Miller guarantees
victory in less than four minutes. I see no computer or Terri to say
that’s correct so I don’t buy this stat. Instead of running away to
prove Cat wrong, Enos goes right after him with a clothesline and a
very nice powerslam. Despite being a heel, he asks if the fans want
to see him punch Miller in the face, allowing Cat to nail him in the
throat. Now I know this might shock you, but Cat fires off a bunch
of kicks and Enos comes back with a series of generic power moves,
including a clothesline and press slam. Sonny offers a distraction
and Miller hits a big kick for the pin at 3:39.
Rating:
D. Sid run-in, Sid run-in, Cat
match. That’s their big way
to make us care after the mess at Road Wild. Also, no Bagwell for
his revenge after Miller attacked him after their match on Saturday.
I do however like Enos as a
power guy who does a simple job but does it well. He
isn’t going anywhere of course, but he’s a good choice for a match
like this, which went about as high as it was going to.
Berlyn
is coming.
We
cut to the back where Sid is beating up Silver King and La Parka,
including powerbombing La Parka onto a bag of popcorn.
Cruiserweight
Title: Lenny vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
Mysterio
is defending for the first time in months. No
contact for the first minute and Lenny keeps dancing at Mysterio to
play some mind games. He offers Lodi a hug and the champion nails
him with a forearm. A reverse powerbomb gets two for Lenny but Rey
sends him to the floor and takes Lodi out, only to have Lenny go up
for a big corkscrew dive. The fans are actually shocked as that
might be the first time Lenny has ever hit a big move. They’re also
stunned that Sid comes in AGAIN to lay out all three guys, giving Rey
the DQ win.
Sting comes out for the
save with Hogan limping behind him. The superheroes clean house and
Hogan says Sting can have a title shot next week if he retains the
title tonight.
Public
Enemy vs. Insane Clown Posse
We’re officially in
ECW. We have to be. No other major company could possibly think
this is an acceptable idea to air on national television. Raven (in
his last television appearance with WCW before walking out when
Bischoff offered anyone a release) wants to know where his pyro is.
The Clowns jump Public Enemy while they’re stacking tables but are
easily knocked to the floor. It’s Shaggy in trouble first with
Grunge elbowing him low before a double tag brings in J. and Rocco.
The Violent Clown
elbows the Flyboy (I feel like an idiot typing that) before it’s back
to Grunge. Raven grabs Johnny’s foot so J. can…..well Tony called
it a clothesline but it looked more like Luger’s running forearm
smash. Grunge comes back with a double clothesline and the hot tag
brings in Rocco to really clean house. A top rope hurricanrana
plants Shaggy and it’s table time. Of course Rocco overshoots the
table and barely drives Shaggy through it, almost completely missing
the bottom table. Not that it matters as the referee gets taken out,
allowing Vampiro to Nail Grunge in his Coffin, giving J. the pin.
Rating:
D-. Public
Enemy isn’t the best team ever. I don’t think it’s a stretch to call
them one of the least technically sound mainstream tag teams of all
time. The key thing though is they’re actual wrestlers. They’ve
been trained and have some experience, but still aren’t all that
great. However, they make the Clowns look like the Steiner Brothers
circa 1991 because the Clowns aren’t wrestlers. They’re as qualified
to be wrestlers as 7 year olds pretending to be police are qualified
to patrol the streets. At
least the Filthy Animals could carry a match, but this was horrible.
DJ
Ran is back. Joy.
Nitro
Girls. A bit more actual joy.
Here’s
Harlem Heat in street clothes for a chat. They’re back together
after Stevie got tired of being with four “fruit booties who
couldn’t get the job done.” An open challenge is issues and Booker
promises to “turn this mutha out.” I
really think this speaks for itself.
Berlyn
is here in two weeks.
We
get what’s left of the Black and White for the first time in a good
while. Horace accepts the challenge for tonight, which actually
makes sense for a change. Norton
promises to take care of Stevie Ray. Adams says he and Vincent will
challenge Harlem Heat tonight….and the team beats him down for no
apparent reason, ripping the t-shirt off his back.
Okerlund brings out
Kidman for a chat and calls him a chick magnet. Gene Okerlund should
not know what a chick is. Kidman says that he, Konnan, Guerrero and
Mysterio are a bunch of filthy animals that love to party and chase
the chicks (it sounds better coming from him). In a TOTALLY
spontaneous line that is in no way designed to set up the next match,
Gene asks if Kidman has seen the Nitro Girls pay per view. Of course
he has and Kimberly is his favorite Nitro Girl. Cue DDP to start
spelling respect before he slaps Kidman in the face and plants him
with a spinning Rock Bottom.
Diamond Dallas Page
vs. Kidman
A snapmare sends Kidman
across the ring and Page slowly stomps away. An elbow drop with some
shouts to the fans (the People if you will) gets two for Page but
Kidman snaps off a headscissors. That’s the extent of his offense
for now though as Page kicks the knee out to kill the crowd again.
The helicopter bomb plants him again but Page pulls up at two. Tony
forgets the name of the referee Page laid out at Road Wild and just
trails off in the middle of his sentence. That might be better for
all of us. Page loads up a fireman’s carry for the Diamond Cutter
but Kidman spins out into a rollup for the pin.
Rating: D.
This was an angle instead of a match but they still managed to be
dull in the process. Kidman was treated like a guy way out of his
league here, continuing this stupid idea that cruiserweights are
nothing compared to the bigger guys. I’m assuming this leads to the
Triad vs. the Animals, which wouldn’t be the worst idea in the world.
It’s not a good idea mind
you but it could be worse.
Page
Diamond Cuts both guys to negate the upset. Kimberly
has to come out and call Page off.
Here’s the Disco
Inferno to declare himself a superstar, a sex symbol and an icon.
The Filthy Animals have been calling him every day because he’s the
future of this company. Cue Benoit to say prove it.
US
Title: Chris Benoit vs. Disco Inferno
Benoit immediately
takes him down with a hard chop and the big belly to back suplex. A
dropkick puts Disco down again and Benoit is on a roll. The
Crossface sends Disco running to the floor and the fans are all fired
up for the first time all night. Back in and Disco nails his
swinging neckbreaker and clothesline, followed by the middle rope
elbow and Russian legsweep.
They head outside with
Benoit going into the steps, but Disco stops to dance. You can’t say
he isn’t dedicated. He sends the champ into the barricade and gets
in a bit more dancing. Back in and Benoit flips out of a belly to
back suplex before planting him with a German suplex. Disco’s Last
Dance is countered and the Three Amigos knock Disco sillier (but
doesn’t mess with a bit of that hair). Benoit Swan Dives him to
retain the title.
Rating:
C+. As usual, when you give
Disco the right opponent, he can pull off a pretty decent match. I
was hoping for one of those jumping piledrivers to really make this
close, but what else can you ask for from a five minute match on a
show featuring celebrity clowns? It’s
also nice to see Benoit survive his first title defense as this
company wouldn’t shock me if they jobbed him out immediately.
Goldberg
vs. Barry Windham
All
of the Rednecks but Hennig are out with Barry. Goldberg
beats up all of the seconds and pins Barry in thirty seconds with the
usual. Well he’s back.
KISS
is still coming. They’re seriously going through with it.
Horace/Vincent/Scott
Norton vs. Harlem Heat
Non-title.
Stevie throws Vincent
around to start but botches a press slam, nearly dropping Vincent on
his face. It’s off to
Norton vs. Booker with Stevie staying in for a double back elbow.
That’s it for Flash as he
brings in Horace. You know, I remember about three years ago when
Hall, Nash and Hogan were taking over the company and wrestling
world. Somehow that’s evolved into this trio fighting in a dull tag
match and getting beaten up 3-2. Booker
drops Horace with kicks but goes after Vincent to give Horace a
breather.
That’s
enough of the talent though so it’s back to Stevie who kicks Horace
in the face. Why overcomplicate the offense? The
cheap excuses for the NWO get in some cheap shots from the apron,
allowing Horace to take over with a DDT. A big shoulder sends Stevie
down and the NWO starts taking turns. Norton
loads up the powerbomb but here’s Brian Adams for the save. The
referee, not even distracted, doesn’t do anything about the
interference as Adams cleans house. In the melee, Booker missile
dropkicks Horace to give Stevie the pin.
Rating:
D+. So let me get this
straight. Booker T. and Stevie Ray, perhaps the most successful WCW
tag team of all time, freshly reunited and the new Tag Team
Champions, needed help to beat Horace, Vincent and Norton? Also,
we’re supposed to care about Brian Adams all of a sudden? At least
this should lead to the end of the Black and White. They just need
to be put out to pasture at this point anyway. By
this point I mean a year and a half ago of course.
The
camera follows Adams as he gets into a limo with a KISS license
plate. It’s bad enough that they had to do these stupid celebrity
appearances but now we have to give them stories?
TV
Title: Brian Knobbs vs. Rick Steiner
Again
I say let’s get this over with. It’s
a brawl to start with Steiner dropping him with an early Steiner
Line. They’re quickly to the choking before the brawl heads outside.
Rick upgrades his choking
with the dog collar before they head back inside for another Steiner
Line. So far, if you count
punches and kicks, Steiner is at four moves. Brian
slams him down but his middle rope splash hits leg. I’ve always
thought that would hurt the leg as
much as the guy trying the
splash. Hart offers a
distraction with the collar but Brian is sent into him, setting up
the Steiner Bulldog (hey he hit five!) to avenge
Wrestlemania VII and retain.
Rating:
D-. Of all the people they have
in this company, BRIAN KNOBBS got a TV Title shot? You couldn’t
throw some low level schmuck out there who might be able to do a
single decent looking move? This may be a stretch, but Brian may be
a worse illustration of nepotism than David Flair. At least with
Flair there might have been some potential there, but everyone knew
what they were getting with Knobbs but his friendship with Hogan kept
getting him work.
Nitro
Girls. Tony asks why Heenan never applauds them. Heenan: “It’s
impossible to clap with one hand.” First, no it isn’t.
Second…..I need a minute.
Bam
Bam Bigelow vs. Saturn
The
big bald guy drops Saturn with some early clotheslines but gets
kicked outside, setting up a great looking Asai moonsault. Back
in and Bigelow just launches Saturn across the ring because Bigelow
is old and therefore doesn’t have to sell. He charges into a boot in
the corner though and fires off right hands, only to be shoved into
the referee. Saturn nails
an AJ Styles style springboard forearm and nails a decent t-bone
suplex. Cue Kanyon (why couldn’t this be Kanyon vs. Saturn? Too
entertaining a prospect?) to shove Saturn into a bearhug, but Shane
Douglas comes out to shove Kanyon onto both of them, giving Saturn a
pin.
Rating:
D+. I know they’ve taken their
time getting here but the Revolution finally seems to be taking hold.
Benoit winning the title and getting to defend it in a pretty solid
match was a good sign and they even won a match over an older guy. I
have zero confidence that it’s going to last, but at least it worked
for one night.
Benoit
and Malenko come out to save Saturn from a beatdown.
WCW
World Title: Sid Vicious vs. Hulk Hogan
No word on what Sid’s
record is after after all those beatings but he jumps the champ at
the bell. Hearing Heenan suck up to Hogan continues to disgust me.
If Hogan can be the same character he was in the 80s, why can’t the
Brain? Well other than a complete lack of caring that it. Sid very
slowly stomps on Hulk and drops a leg, sending Hogan popping back up
to his feet. Ever the lunkhead, Sid stands in the corner with his
back to Hulk, allowing the champ to hammer away.
Sid bails to the floor
and thankfully doesn’t go off to buy a hot dog and a Coke. Back in
and he can’t ram Hogan into the buckle but Hulk can do it to him.
This riveting spectacle heads outside with Hogan nailing Sid with a
chair and throwing him into the audience. For a change of pace, Sid
hits Hogan with the chair and throws him onto the announcers’ table.
He even one ups the champ by pouring water over Hulk AND the
announcers! Tony: “HE SOAKED US WITH WATER!”
Back in and we hit a
nerve hold because Sid worked so hard already. The fans chant
Goldberg, but the water in Heenan’s ear makes it sound like Hogan. A
clothesline breaks up the comeback and Sid fires off some right hands
as Tony tries to explain how Hulking Up works. The chokeslam gets a
delayed two and I think you know what’s coming. That’s right: Rick
Steiner breaking up the comeback because WCW wants us all to watch
Raw.
Rating:
F. You know, I grew up a
Hulkamaniac. In the twenty five years plus as a Hulk Hogan fan, I’ve
sat through a lot of nonsense. Over
the years, very few things have made me as embarrassed as this
nonsense. It comes off like a Hogan impersonator doing all of Hulk’s
greatest hits on a carnival circuit, but instead it’s the real thing
on national TV. The matches aren’t any good, the live fans respond
to a degree, but the TV audience collectively does not care.
Sid
doesn’t make things any better either. I know he never was exactly a
ring general, but this is setting a new standard for him too. He
clearly doesn’t care anymore and is just out there for a check, but
some of the stuff he does makes you wonder if he’s trying to make the
matches even worse. This
was two old guys (even though Sid is in his late 30s here)
embarrassing themselves for a check and the company letting
themselves die for whatever stupid reasons they come up with this
week to validate it.
Trash fills the ring as
Hogan is beaten down until Sting makes the save. Hulk covers Steiner
for a three count and bell before handing Sting the belt to end the
show.
Overall
Rating:
D. This
was the Sid Vicious show and for the life of me I don’t know why. I
get that they’re setting up Sid vs. Goldberg for the battle of the
streaks, but my goodness do they have to have him mess up that many
matches to get to the point? He wouldn’t break up Enos vs. Miller
but he can break up Regal getting to hurt Scotty Riggs? Then
to cap it off they have him lose the main event via DQ? It’s like
they’re parodying the Streak and wrecking the midcard to get there.
While
this show was bad, it was a different kind of bad than recently.
Lately the shows have been bad because of how horrible things were,
but in this case it felt like there were a good many bright spots
being dragged down by the bad. The Revolution is starting to take
hold and getting rid of the Black and White is a good thing.
However, we’re looking
towards the old guys dominating the main event for what feels like
months to come and KISS next week. As
usual, this company could be good if they would get out of their own
way, but it just seems to keep getting worse.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:
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