Kayfabe Commentaries YouShoot Interview with Teddy Long

This was released this past Tuesday (11/4/14)

The interview was conducted by Sean Oliver

Ir runs at one hour and thirty-six minutes long

OPENING BELL




The first question asked to Long was if he was upset about not getting a proper farewell from the WWE. Long said he didnt mind and talked about how a few weeks before this was filmed he heard the commentators wish him happy birthday on Smackdown and if they are talking about him in a positive way than he is fine. About his departure from the company, Long said that he knew the writing was on the wall as they kept bringing him in to TV and never used him for anything.

Someone asks him if making all of the tag team matches was his doing or from the WWE. Long said that it was his idea and he said that it caught on because even though they wrote out a script for him he made it his own thing. He went into how he used the word “playa” as he had a black labrador retriever at home and called the dog that then said he got his dance from his grandson, who would jump up and down at home in a bouncy-type of child’s seat. Long basically got all his catchphrases and mannerisms from his home life.

WWE




He is asked about what it was like working with Kristal Marshall on Smackdown and if there were plans after the wedding. Long said he heard that they were going to have Kristal and Vickie Guerrero team up to run the show but when the story did not go as planned, Vince made the call to bring Long back to TV sooner than he was supposed to be. The follow up question asked Long how he felt about the heart attack angle and what happened backstage afterwards because Kristal and her husband Bobby Lashley both left the company shortly afterwards. Long said it was Vince’s storyline and that the heart atttack thing did not bother him as he was an actor and portraying a character. Long said that he heard Lashley was jealous that his wife was on TV as part of a romantic storyline then said that Kristal was dramatic and once called Lashley to tell him that MVP was hitting on her, which Long said was false.

When asked about his favorite person to manage, he said it was the Undertaker (Long managed him in WCW when he was Mean Mark Callous) as he was a super guy. He is then asked about working with Drew McIntyre and said that he enjoyed it and helped him out as he was new to the business. Long doesn’t understand why they fired him as he was a great talent.

Long said that he enjoyed Michael Cole’s announcing and says that he is a professional and a good guy and if you are talking about him, even if negative, then he is doing his job. He then says that over time, he might be held in a higher regard.

On Vince McMahon, Long said that he is a great man and that nothing is forever so you have to understand that there will be a time when the company lets you go. He then says the key to longevity is to do what he likes.

BEHIND THE SCENES


Long is asked about a podcast with Pete Gas in which he was brought up on charges in Wrestler’s Court for being a “cheap motherfucker.” Long laughs as he tells the story about JBL and Ron Simmons bringing him up for charges as when he rode with them, he would act like he did not have the money for tolls, food, or beer so they paid all that for him. Long then tells about being brought up on charges for selling Viagra. He said he had Mae Young for his lawyer in court for the Viagra charge. Long is laughing a lot telling this story by the way then says he takes Viagra not because he needs to but because he can then compares it to putting premium gas into a car instead of regular.

He is asked about how he got his suits and Long said his wife picked them out and this leads to a segment similar to the “Fashion Police” segments on E! where Long is asked to critique photos of various wrestlers. This was funnier than it sounded due to Long being good-natured about the bit and wanting to participate.  stood out here besides a photo of a kid with Shawn Michaels (in a fanny pack), Marty Jannetty, Jimmy Snuka, and Kerry Von Erich from the early 90’s. I cannot imagine any of those guys were even the slightest bit sober in that photo.  Well, Long ragging on the photo of High Energy was pretty funny.

When asked about backstage fights he had seen, Long talk about Kurt Angle and Eddie Guerrero fighting in the gorilla position after a match. He then tells a story of Steve Blackman stretching out on the floor in the locker room on his back when the Big Show stood over him. Blackman asked Show to not to that and was ignored so Long said Blackman, still on his back, managed to hook both of his legs around Show and take him to the floor. He said back in the day when guys were on all sorts of drugs they fought all the time.

THIRD MAN






Long is asked about a referee’s responsibilities during a match and if they have changed over the years. He confirms that they have changed  and talks about how when a wrestler made a fist and raised it in the air that would be a cue for the ref to come over and enforce the open hand rule but that is no longer a thing. Long says that they have an earpiece now so they can tell the wrestlers when to “go home,” comparing it to back in the day when he would have to wait for JJ Dillon to come to the ring holding up a pencil to know when to wrap things up.

When asked what to do when a legit shoot takes place, Long said that his suggestion is to get out of the way to protect yourself but also attempt to talk them down.

Someone asks him about messing up a three count during the European Title match between Gangrel and X Pac 1999 Royal Rumble when it appeared that Gangrel won the belt after Long counted to three and Pac did not kick out. Long said that Vince would rather you count anyway instead of pausing it to make it look fake. Long then tells a story of how Tajiri potatoed Christian in a match and afterwards Christian told Long that he was legitimately unable to kick out.

He is asked through a video submission on his thoughts when D’Lo Brown dropped Droz on his head. Long was the referee in that match. He said that Droz told him he felt like he was going to die and Long talks about how sad that was and really liked Droz.

About Owen Hart’s death, Long said that he saw him on the gurney and he looked light as snow when he came by and knew he was not going to live. Long talks about how Owen was a prankster and before the show started he was joking around with him and the Godfather.

Long is asked about the best/worst matches he had ever refereed. Long said the best was Ric Flair vs. Ricky Steamboat at Chi-Town Heat and said he was glad to be part of a match with two of the best workers. He there were a lot of horrible matches he was part of then says that Ronnie Garvin “beat the fuck” out of a underneath guy. one match in Georgia because he was so horrible in the ring, something that Long is not a fan of.

SEX AND DRUGS




When asked about which guys in wrestling we would be shocked to hear that got lots of girls, Long said that Gino Hernandez and Al Perez got a lot but then said that Mick Foley did when he was Catcus Jack then tells a story of how Mick rode in the back of a ring truck to meet him and Ron Simmons at the hotel. Mick was banging a chick then reached out his hand for Simmons to hold as he wanted support.

We get a segment called the “Player’s Ball” in which Long is given several names and asked to pick out the top three. In order, they were Batista, CM Punk, and Booker T. The other names were Edge, HHH, and Flair.

Long is asked if he had any rat stories. He said that he had a good time before he got married while in Georgia and said that Atlanta was a great city for girls.

He is asked a few other questions. When asked about if he knew of any tag teams that tagged the same girl and he said that the APA did. When asked about his favorite diva, he said that Mickie James was his as he liked her booty then said that he thought Kaitlin and AJ were hot, then joked about how he was sad to see AJ get married before saying sorry to Punk. Long said that Punk is a friend of his.

They play “F, Marry, Kill” and Long’s choice were:

Fuck: Aksana
Mary: Maryse
Kill: Kristal

After being asked a long-winded question about why black guys date fat, unattractive white girls, Long said that he does not know why that is the case but said that its not only about the sex and sometimes it is about how good they can give head.

When asked which WWE Superstar took the most viagra, Long said that Viscera would take them and just sit in the locker room and look down at his pants.

WCW




When asked if there was a lot of animosity towards the Four Horsemen due to their position on the card, Long said that professionally the boys knew that they wanted to work with them to get more money and talks about how there will always be jealousy.

About Jason Hervey, Long said that the boys didn’t really spend a lot of time with him then talks about how Eric Bischoff wanted to move up at Turner and brought him around in order to increase his chances of a promotion.

Long said that he did not hate Jim Herd then tells a story of how in St. Louis, Sting refused to drop the title to Flair, who wanted Sting to drop the belt to him then it was going to be changed that Flair & Barry Windham would beat Doom for the Tag Titles so he and Simmons went to Herd and said how it wasn’t right and threatened to walk out. Herd then changed plans so Doom could keep the titles.

PAYING DUES




When asked about getting into the business, Long said that he would take his son to the Saturday morning TV tapings in Atlanta and one day he met Abdullah the Butcher, who did not his way around town, and led him around and after that, Abdullah brought him into the locker room and he got along with everyone and after starting out by collecting the ring jackets, became a referee when they needed someone when the ref was not there. His first match was a Texas Death Match between Black Bart vs. Ron Bass, which was a bloodbath.  He then said that he was scared and talks about how the gimmick that Bart was using on Bass fell so Long threw it outside of the ring. The wrestlers could not believe what happened and luckily a long-time fan picked it up so a rabid fan would not get a hold of the item. Long then said that the timekeeper fucked up the finish by ringing the bell too early and that the wrestlers were so mad that they forgot all about what he did.

Long talks about how he started off as a DJ and that was how he got to work for James Brown by carrying his bags then got a job of hosting a show called “Future Shock.” Long then tells a story about meeting Brown at a gas station when he pulled up in a limo and said that he had a big jar of Viagra and would eat them all day.

HEAT




When asked about guys in the WWE giving him shit, he said no one did that he could think of and attributes that to being a favorite of Vince McMahon.

We then are treated to a shitty John Laurinaitis impression asking if he was a dick to work for but Long never had any problems with him.

THE BOYS




After a few dull questions, Sean has Long answers a few tweets. When asked if there were any prima donnas in the WWE locker room he says that the Big Show was one. He said that Jim Crockett gave the worst paydays and tells a story of how he did not get his check in the mail and they made him drive from Atlanta to Charlotte and only ended up getting a $200 check. He then said that once he drove to Charlotte after JJ Dillon booked him and Crockett told Long that he was not needed and sent him home without anything. He said that he was not that surprised about Doom getting a push as Jim Barnett told him that they put the belts on them after the NAACP called them asking why there were not any black champions in the company. Long used his Barnett impression for that one.

THE DIRT




When asked if he got all of the WCW merchandise out of the dumpster when it closed, Long laughed and said that he took it all from the warehouse and handed it out to the inner city kids. He said that he goes to his grandson’s football games now and loads up his truck with merch to give to the kids and describes how happy they are to receive it and how they put on the shirts before they get home.

After a few boring questions, Long is asked about anyone enjoying scat in the locker room from a god damn puppet. Sean then plays a clip from the Tony Atlas YouShoot in which he said that the Bella’s used to “pee and crap” on people and one time in Arizona they were “flopping around” naked in a swimming pool. Long laughed at that and said the city was Corpus Christi and not in Arizona but never heard about the scat stuff. Long then tells a story of how Atlas loved to have girls walk on him and tried to get an 80 year old women walk on him as Long told Atlas that she could barely even walk herself as she had a cane. Long tells some more stories about Atlas as he once freaked out a woman at a gym by looking at her bare feet and guessing her shoe size.

MOUTHPIECE




When asked his least favorite person to manage, Long said it was Buff Bagwell. He called him a “dick” and said that he would go behind his back all the time to the agent to change the finishes of the match when he was teaming with Too Cold Scorpio and that they would never have any idea until during the match.

Long is asked about Doom. He tells a story about Simmons, Reed, and the Junkyard Dog in St. Louis. They met up with a drug dealer who was selling them cocaine and wound up going to his house. The dealer told them that he had so much cocaine that there was no way they could do it all as Long joked about how that guy had no idea who he was talking to and they stayed there all night. Long said that JYD was the only person he knew who could eat massive amounts of food after snorting coke all night long. The next day, they were late for the show as they were blowing coke in the car, about five minutes away from the building, when the Steiner Brothers pulled up next to him and yanked the car door. They got scared and dumped the coke all over their car and instead of going to the show they decided to go back to the dealer’s house.

On managing the lower card guys in WCW, Long said that Flair and Arn Anderson made Joey Maggs their go-fer and Long thinks that they might have made promises to him but ended up using him instead. He tells a story after Maggs lost a match on TV, he was distraught and Long told him he was going to console him then after a minute he was going to raise his hands after that. Maggs questioned why he would to that as Long told him to “shut the fuck up” and they ended up doing it and Long slowly raised his hand and the crowd applauded. Maggs ended up in tears in the locker room as he never received a reaction like that before.

RACISM




He is asked about racism in the NWA, Long said that Ole Anderson was the worst and would call him a “nigger” right to his face and even did so during a match. Long said that Bill Dundee also called him that during a match right in front of everyone to see. Long then tells a story of how Flair came up to him and said “Nigger, do you like working here?” Flair told him that a few girls told him that Long said they could come into the arena. Long said that Flair did that to fuck with him and questioned why he would try to take money from him when he got pissed after Kevin Sullivan and Eddie Gilbert wanted to make Long a manager. Long then said that Gary Hart confronted Flair and told him to stop giving him shit and Hart even made Long a blade to use in case someone tried to fuck with him.

Sean asked Long about Bill Watts and whether or not he was a racist, Long points out how he pushed black wrestlers and had a black booker (Ernie Ladd) but got pissed after on a roundtable panel, Watts was reminding Atlas about how he drove him around on the back of the pickup truck right past a slave auction site and they both laughed about that like it was hysterical as Long did not see anything funny about that.

On whether or not there are major race issues today, Long said he is unsure as all different races of people have been treated poorly.

POTPOURRI




They do some lame making a tag team match segment with various wrestlers and celebrities. Long was a good sport here and played along and made a match with John Cena & Justin Bieber vs. Randy Orton & Ding Dong #2.

His favorite restaurant on the road is Ruby Tuesday’s as he is a fan of the salad bar and said that he liked to drink Michelob Ultra Lime Cactus beer.

Final Thoughts: Solid interview. Sean Oliver had to re-tool the YouShoot series as the last few releases were poorly received due to the participants (Helms, Clay, Bourne) not fully participating and too afraid or unwilling to answer any of the tougher questions. So, they got rid of the dick bag, ho bag, and gimmick bag, which was a shame as Long seems like he would not dodge any of those questions, and left out the insane questions or ones that were submitted for the sole intention of getting the submitter over. This format was a lot more relaxed with the intention of making it easier for the guest to open up.

My only real complaint was he length as 96 minutes long is really short for a YouShoot. Other than that, Long told some good stories and seemed to really be enjoying himself. He also seemed to understand what it was about and went along with the format. He was not taking himself too seriously or staying quiet with the hopes of getting re-hired by the WWE. Long kept things light as he would joke and laugh along during and in between the questions.

I recommend this shoot as it was a breeze to watch and generally a good time. It was a much needed breath of fresh air for the slumping YouShoot franchise.

You can purchase the DVD for $20.00 or on Demand for $15.99. With the on Demand purchase, you are able to watch it whenever you want as it stays on your account forever. Click on the link below to purchase the video.

http://kayfabecommentaries.com/DVD_YS_Long.html