Matt’s Main Event Recap: 11/03/2014

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My Giants won the World Series.

I
didn’t believe n’ stuff. Honestly, 2002 sucked, so I was swayed by
that. Turns out that this made up for 2002 and I was wrong. Oh, so
happily wrong.

Oh, and I saw Daniel Bryan at the victory parade in San Francisco.

So, I must say that I am quite happy. 🙂
Let’s get moving…
We are LIVE(!) from Albany, New York!
JBL and Michael Cole are your guys on the mics as Byron Saxton is on the WWE European Tour.
Stardust is out and practically humps his tag team belt.
MATCH #1: Stardust vs. Jey Uso
No Goldie or Jimmy at ringside for a change. Jey sends Star outside and hits Uso Crazy right off the bat. He chops Star back in the ring and Star begs off. He ends up outside the ropes but jacks Jey in the jaw and begins stomping away. He hits a chinlock but Jey escapes and tries an Enzuguri. He misses and Stardust takes over again. Stardust tries a bulldog but Jey counters and Stardust lands flat on his back. He gets to his feet and uppercuts Jey, getting two. Jey comes back with a Cross Body splash for two. Star hits another uppercut on the follow-up. Star tries a roll-up off the ropes but Jey hits a Superkick for the win at 4:39.
WINNER: Jey Uso
RATING: **.
TONIGHT: Bray Wyatt is in action against a jobber which is so surreal considering where he was months ago and the following he has.
John Cena impresses us with Dylan Thomas poetry for WWE 2K15.
WrestleMania is coming to Levi’s…I am this close to getting my tickets…
Tyson Kidd is backstage. Nattie approaches her in a dress that makes her look ALMOST NAKED. WHERE’S A DIVA TO SHAME HER? She says she’s proud of him and loves him and blah, blah, blah. Tyson has his headphones on and didn’t hear any of that because he’s AN ABUSIVE HUSBAND, SEE???
MATCH #2: Justin Gabriel vs. Curis Axel
Oh. There’s Curtis Axel. There’s early grappling and Axel slaps Gabriel. Gabriel comes back with kicks but Axel clotheslines his head off. He hits some quick elbows and a dropkick and gets a one-count. Axel hits a headlock but Gabriel breaks and it’s a brawl in the corner. Gabriel hits a nice springboard clothesline for a one-count. The two men run at one another and collide. Gabriel clotheslines Axel and both men end up outside. Axel gets back inside and covers Gabriel for a one-count. Axel is all over him in the corner, then rushes at him but Gabriel hits an elbow. He goes top buckle but Axel knocks him to the mat outside. He puts Gabriel back in the ring and hits a kneelift, getting the pin. Ok, then.
WINNER: Curtis Axel
RATING: 1/2*. This just felt disjointed. Especially near the end.
Cole says that Tyson Kidd will take on Sami Zayn. Holy crap. It’s NEXT.
MATCH #3: Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya) vs. Sami Zayn
Cole fanwanks for Zayn, proclaiming this “The Battle of Canada” and says that “Ole, Ole, Ole, Ole” is a “Sami Zayn” chant. Kidd knocks Zayn down and celebrates. Zayn comes back with an arm drag. Kidd comes back with an armbar. Deep arm drags and a nice twisting arm drag by Zayn. Two count. There’s some back and forth and Zayn ends up outside the ropes. Tyson Kidd kicks him off, to the outside. Tyson goes outside and hits a neckbreaker. He rolls Zayn back in and then gets a kiss from his wife before continuing. He punches and kicks Zayn and then puts him in the Tree of Woe, hitting a sitting dropkick. We go to break for some reason.
Kidd has Zayn in a headlock when we come back. Zayn breaks but Kidd nails him with a forearm to the back of the head. Kidd stomps at Zayn and gets two. ANOTHER headlock. Zayn breaks. Kidd kicks him. Zayn finally hits clotheslines and kinda botches a dropkick. Kidd kicks him on a rush, then climbs the buckle. He hits a flying neckbreaker, getting two. He chokes Zayn on the ropes and hits a Springboard Elbow. Two count. Kidd rushes again but Zayn kicks him and hits a Cross Body for two. Zayn gets to his feet and goes for a side suplex. Kidd breaks but Zayn grabs him and hits the Blue Thunder Bomb for a CLOSE fall.
Zayn looks slightly stunned and slaps himself in the face. Zayn gets to his feet and goes for a suplex. Kidd blocks it and tries to reverse it. Zayn tries again but it’s another block. There’s a series of roll-ups by both guys but Kidd pulls the tights and wins at 10:35.
WINNER: Tyson Kidd
RATING: **1/2. This one finally got going late but the cheap pin was a shitty way to end it.
Post-match, Tyson gets obnoxious celebrating as Zayn looks stunned. 
NEXT: The Authority deals with Randy Orton.
And we get that for about 7 minutes. Cena needs to PICK THREE MORE TEAMMATES!!! OH NOES!!! Can he do it in time???
NEXT: Bray Wyatt’s in action to finish this show.
MATCH #4: Sin Cara vs. Bray Wyatt
Bray comes out minus doing the “we’re here” thing which is strange. He can’t say “I’m here”? His lantern now has smoke pouring from it. So that’s cool. He’s all over Sin Cara who tries a springboard Cross Body and misses completely. Cara hits some uppercuts and goes for an Irish Whip but Cara holds the ropes. Wyatt rushes him and Cara drops him from the ring and hits a Suicide Dive. Back in the ring, Bray hits a shoulder tackle and more uppercuts. He hits a huge splash and a headlock. Sin Cara breaks but Bray knocks him down. He sends Cara into the ropes and Cara comes back with a Springboard Kick. He continues his charge but Bray just hits the Standing Spinebuster and goes into Spider Mode before hitting Sister Abigail for the win at 4:14.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt via Sister Abigail
RATING: DUD. This is all well and good…but Bray’s already been here. I still don’t get the point of the re-branding or starting Bray from scratch against a bunch of jobbers.
He does the Raven as we go off the air.
OVERALL: **. I wonder if new subscribers are wanting their ten dollars back.
Er, that’s it.