WCW Worldwide: September 29, 1996

With the nWo complete and
totally in control of WCW, is there anything WCW can do?
YES! They can continue to
hold WCW Worldwide – where the nWo has no chance of EVER appearing! However,
big stars are on tap. Super Calo, Alex Wright, Stevie Ray, and The Dungeon of
Doom! If that won’t bring the hits, NOTHING will!
Our unseen hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE and “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN.

SUPER CALO vs. REY MYSTERIO JR. (in a non-title
match)
This is a rematch from
Fall Brawl. That’s right, PPV quality here on Worldwide. You can leave your
Nitro at home. This was taped before Calo’s injury, but possibly after they
turned Calo into a big fat jobber. Rey reverses a body scissors into an
armdrag, and hits a springboard rana. Calo hits the floor, so far that Rey
pretty much misses a tope con hilo – but Calo sells anyway. They head back in,
where Calo greets Rey’s springboard dropkick with a dropkick of his own. A
powerbomb leaves Rey dazed, and Calo sends Rey to the floor, where he
immediately hits a springboard senton! The fans boo in disgust for the quality
lucha libre. A tilt-a-whirl slam gets Calo all giddy and soaking in the boos of
the audience, before Rey pops up and hits a Frankensteiner with the legs hooked
for the pin at 2:55. ** Bobby sends
Rey to the pay window, and Calo to the frozen tacos.
ALEX WRIGHT vs. RANDY STARR
Randy Starr would make
for an excellent porn name – but his tights would indicate that he wouldn’t make
for much of a porn star, he’s missing a big part of the overall package. NICK PATRICK is your referee, and
immediately gets on Wright for hair pulling. Wright works the leg, and applies
a half crab. Wright moves to a grapevine when Starr won’t tap, but that doesn’t
work any better. Starr throws an elbow to Wright’s throat, and takes over.
Wright responds by punching Starr in the pooter. A missed dropkick finishes the
turning of the tide, and Wright drops the failed genetic jackhammer with a
series of European uppercuts. Bridged German suplex wins at 4:05. *1/2 Bobby refers to Starr as “Ham
and Egger” throughout the highlights, which always brings a smile to my face.
STEVIE RAY (with Booker T, Sista Sherri, and
Colonel Robert Parker) vs. RICK STEINER (in a match to determine wrestling’s
least talented brother)
I’m setting the projected
rating at half a star. Take the under. Stevie hits Steiner with the clobbering,
drawing boos because he’s a bad person, and also because he’s run through his
whole move set already. Rick hits a powerslam for 1, and decides to punch
Stevie until he falls to the floor. Bobby: “Why does that man bark? Dogs don’t
yell. Does he have the mind of a Chihuahua? You know, he has a red shoe on and
a white shoe on, and he probably thinks he has a pair at home just like them.”
I’m running verbatim because it’s far better quality than anything in the ring.
Stevie works a rear chinlock to slow things down, but Rick escapes. German
suplex from Steiner sets up a clothesline for 2. Shouldn’t it be the other way
around? Booker decides to take Steiner hostage, but Stevie accidentally kicks
Booker in the face, and a roll up gets the 3 at 3:13. Post-match Harlem Heat hit Stevie with the Heat Bomb.
A commercial advertises
an appearance from Rough & Ready up next, but my copy runs out. What kind
of an awful rip off is this? I happen to know for a fact that the following
took place later in the show:
Rough and Ready faced
Chris Benoit and Arn Anderson in a 15 minute spectacle, where Mike Enos really
finally found his groove. I rated it a solid ***1/2.
VK Wallstreet burst into
flame and his match was cancelled. In its place, we saw a returning Brian
Pillman (who was responsible for the sudden flash fire, as we’d find out at
Starrcade) threaten to whip out his Johnson and piss all over the nWo, getting
a hero’s welcome.
Then he turned nWo to
swerve us 🙁
Glacier fought the Super
Giant Ninja, and defeated him by turning him into a frozen statue and
uppercutting him into a million pieces.
Ron Studd was then
defeated by Jim Powers in the main event.

Tune into Nitro to see if
I’m a giant liar.