The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–10.30.95

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 10.30.95 I’ve just come to accept that I’ll never get to see the 9/25 episode. Live from Dayton, OH Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan & Mongo Sgt. Craig Pittman v. Eddie Guerrero Pittman has to be a tough guy because he wears a string of bullets around his neck while walking through pyro. That’s just a bad idea. Eric notes that lots of people are “faxing in to WCW” looking for results of Halloween Havoc, but we won’t know until the tape arrives later. What kind of a batshit crazy organization is this? How can they not have a tape of their own PPV broadcast from the night before? What exactly is WCW’s fax number and how did people get it? SO MANY QUESTIONS RAISED. Pittman throws Eddie around, but Eddie takes him down, so Pittman gets a clothesline for two and starts working on the arm. Pretty nice belly to belly suplex gets two. Eddie blocks a rollup and gets a bodypress for two, but Pittman suplexes him again as this is going beyond style clash and into complete trainwreck. Eddie thankfully rolls him up for the pin at 5:31 to end it. So, so, so awkward. ½* Scott Norton v. The Shark Sharkalanche with the suplex and elbow for two to start, but Norton comes back with a flying shoulderblock that nearly misses, but still gets two. They clothesline each other for the double count (at 90 seconds in?!) while Heenan is seen dining with Sonny Onoo. They fight to the floor and both are counted out at 2:45. Total waste of time. DUD Tony Schiavone makes his Nitro debut, interviewing the newest version of the Four Horsemen following last night’s betrayal of Sting. Pillman in particular is just having the time of his life out there, yukking it up with Flair and living his dream. Nothing much here, as Arn’s explanation is “Everyone’s been bugging us for two years about when the Horsemen would come back…well be careful what you wish for.” And that’s really all you need. Disco Inferno v. Sabu Now HERE’S a style clash. Sabu interrupts the dancing and destroys him with a pair of springboard dropkicks, but Disco gets a clothesline off a hairtoss and stops to dance again. Disco pounds away with elbows in the corner, but misses a charge and gets slingshot legdropped for the pin at 2:25. Disco was several miles out of his league here, especially at this point in his career. * Sabu tries to put him through a table after the match, but the table no-sells and holy shit that probably hurt. Maybe prep the table next time, geniuses. Lex Luger & Meng v. The American Males Oh, this is gonna be a squash. Luger (and his new manager Jimmy Hart) of course is suddenly a heel after Halloween Havoc, but apparently no one in the building realizes it. Did Luger bring Scotty Riggs with him as a flagbearer as a condition of jumping ship, I wonder? Meng starts kicking the shit out of Riggs and we take a break right away, returning with Riggs slugging it out with Luger before walking into a Hart Attack clothesline. What’s kind of weird here is that the Males had just lost the tag titles “two days ago” (in reality a month ago) but there was literally no mention of it on the show and they just kind of said “Oh, by the way, the Heat will defend the tag titles this Saturday”. I mean, I know we’d all like to forget their tag title reign, but that’s quite the burial. Riggs is ugmo in peril and Meng gets a backbreaker, but Riggs gets a sunset flip on Luger for two. Meng continues beating on him, but it’s hot tag Bagwell and he backdrops Luger all over the place. Jimmy Hart distracts the ref, however, and Meng kicks Riggs in the head to set up the torture rack at 10:45. As suspected, this was a very very extended squash for the Dungeon. * Last night, Jimmy Hart and Lex Luger betray Hulk Hogan and all sorts of wacky stuff happens, resulting in the Giant winning the World title in his first match because of a Vince Russo-style “He didn’t read the fine print” plot twist. This, however, was not established until next week, probably because they hadn’t figured it out yet. Regardless, Giant will “defend” “his” “title” next week. The Pulse Wow, two greasy turds in a row doesn’t bode well for the future of this show. I give it another five years, maybe five years and a few months at most, before it goes off the air.