The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–09.18.95

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 09.18.95 – Live from Johnson City, Tennessee – Your hosts are Uncle Eric, Mongo and the Brain. Meanwhile, the Giant and Kevin Sullivan arrive in the back of an ambulance and Giant cuts a stupid promo. But then he was new to the sport at that point. Gene tells him that “his father would be ashamed if he was alive”. So Big Bossman killed Andre the Giant? The American Males v. The Bluebloods Sadly, Harlem Heat destroys the Bluebloods and thus prevents us from seeing this classic. So instead Booker offers the Males a shot at greatness right now. WCW World tag titles: Harlem Heat v. The American Males Brawl to start, and if you’re in a dark alley god knows there’s no one better suited to watch your back than Scotty Riggs or Buff Bagwell. Riggs evades Ray and the Males hit a double-dropkick on him. “Double your pleasure, double your fun” quoth Eric Bischoff. How did he ever get a job as an announcer, let alone running the company? Bagwell hits a flying forearm, but Booker overpowers him and adds a powerslam. Legdrop misses, but Riggs comes in and walks into the axe kick. Eric goes for the street cred by comparing the kick to K1 competitions. I’m pretty sure guys don’t stand there with their head bowed in position for 10 seconds in legitimate kickboxing matches. Riggs comes back with a sunset flip on Booker, but Stevie breaks it up and the double-teaming in the Heat corner continues. Riggs manages to make the hot tag to Bagwell and he hits a bunch of dropkicks, but now Col Parker comes out and sweeps Sherri off her feet, while Bagwell gets a fluke cradle on Stevie to win the belts at 4:35. A world where the American Males are the best tag team isn’t a world I want to live in. 1/2* Ric Flair (only an 11-time champion at this point) is out for his traditional interview with Mean Gene (although I guess at this point it would be the first one). AA broke the code of the Horsemen, because it’s OK for them to feud with each other, but if you bring in an outsider, there’s trouble. Paul Orndorff v. Johnny B. Badd Orndorff is now extra-narcissistic thanks to his personal motivational speaker. The announcers go way over the top complaining about the “new attitude”, even though it’s just the same Mr. Wonderful gimmick he’s always had. Orndorff attacks and chokes away in the corner to start, but Badd hiptosses him and goes up before landing on Paul’s knees. Orndorff gets two as we take a break. Back with Badd missing a splash, but so does Orndorff (who “eats a mouthful of mat” in Bischoff-speak). Orndorff gets dumped as they talk about DDP winning the TV title from Renegade. Bischoff is sure that Renegade will get another shot. I…never mind, we won’t go there. Badd hits the plancha and they head back in for the Badd comeback, but Orndorff blocks a sunset flip for the pin at 3:53. Not to be a geek about this, but the ref was totally out of position there and Badd’s shoulders were clearly off the mat. * Meanwhile on the beach, Randy Savage is pumping iron, but Kevin Sullivan attacks him until Ric Flair and a couple of actors pull him off. This brings out Savage for an interview on the show and he predicts that Luger will be joining the Dungeon of Doom. So Luger comes out to refute those awful charges and accuses Savage of wanting the World title himself. Things gets heated and Savage wants a match, but Mean Gene yells “This isn’t the time or the place!” Standing in the ring on a wrestling show isn’t the time or the place? Because it sure sounds like BOTH the time AND the place to me. Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan gives an interview with Mean Gene on his motorcycle before Fall Brawl, but The Giant and his MONSTER TRUCK OF DOOM drive in and smash the bike while Giant leans out of the truck making faces like a meth-addicted sociopath on a sugar binge. There’s bad and then there’s fucking hilarious, and this is definitely the latter. Brian Pillman v. Ric Flair Pillman misses a dropkick and Flair fires away with chops in the corner and tosses him, and they brawl outside with Flair chopping him against the railing. Back in the ring, Pillman chokes away and throws his own chops, but we get a Flair Flip and Flair clotheslines him from the apron for a change. Flair goes up and Pillman dropkicks him on the way down for two. They brawl outside again and Flair drops him on the railing. Back in, Pillman tries a sunset flip and Flair blocks it, then catches Pillman with a boot on a blind charge. Flair goes up and gets slammed off, but then Pillman misses a flying splash. Flair tries the figure-four and gets cradled for two, and they collide for the double KO. They chop it out and Flair gets another figure-four for the submission at 5:24. I guess this was about as good as it could have been for 5 minutes. ** The Pulse: Giant crushing Hogan’s motorcycle with a MONSTER TRUCK wins the internets this week.