On This Day: WCW Worldwide – September 1, 1996

Big show this week!
Renegade! VK Wallstreet! Hold on to your hats!
Taped from Disney, your
hosts are TONY SCHIAVONE and “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN.

THE RENEGADE vs. THE GAMBLER
How was the Gambler left
out of the hype? Shame on you, WCW! Gambler is carrying a massive deck of
cards, which he uses to throw in Renegade’s face – which could possibly cause
an eye contusion, or a vicious papercut. Still, Renegade is all over him, because
WCW sucks. We move to an extended armbar for some reason. Heenan does a good
job of selling the PPV, by suggesting that after this year’s Wargames,
officials will never allow it to happen again due to the bloodbath we are
likely to see. Then he goes off on a tangent about Gambler’s deck of cards.
Because he doesn’t bring all his cards, you have no idea how many cards he
actually has, and as a result you have no idea if he’s drawing, or is ready to
level you with his full house. Tony asks if we’re playing Crazy 8’s? “No, Crazy
Renegades.” “Will you stop?” “No, you folded.” Gambler runs Renegade’s face
across the ropes, and applies a head vice. Renegade tries to fight loose, so
Gambler chokes him instead. Renegade fights back with some wild punches, and follows
with a handspring back elbow. Running bulldog gets the win at 7:26. Renegade announces he’s back and
better than ever. I disagree. DUD
VK WALLSTREET vs. JOHNNY BOONE
That’s future referee
Johnny Boone. Probably a better career path, since he’s such a scrawny little
thing. The white tights and pink boots make him look like a ballet dancer. NICK PATRICK is your referee. The fans
chant “WALMART” because the applause sign told them to. Wallstreet rakes the
eyes, leaving Boone to swing wildly. An abdominal stretch is applied, with a
little rope leverage. Patrick doesn’t catch him. Wallstreet drops a leg on
Boone’s pooter, and turns to jaw with the fans. Boone scores a cheap roll up,
but it only gets 2. Stock Market Crash finishes at 2:52. 1/2*
“HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN vs. STEVE STORM
Tony says he’s gotten to
know Duggan a lot over the last year, and on top of being a great champion,
he’s a very intelligent man. That sends Heenan into a laughing fit that lasts
the ENTIRE match. Every time he seems to have his breath back, Heenan collapses
again. Tony calls for the hook, because Bobby has lost himself. As it
progresses, everything Tony says makes it worse. “He’s a former US Champion”,
“he was a college football player”, it doesn’t matter, Heenan is DYING. “COLLEGE?!?
HAHAHAHAHA!” 3 point stance wins at 3:00.
Post-match, Duggan tapes his fist and clocks Strong, because he’s a poor sport.
***** for Heenan’s commentary. Even during the reply. “HERE’S YOUR COLLEGE
GRAD, FOOTBALL PLAYER, INTELLIGENT MAN, PFFFFFFFFFFFFTTT HAHAHAHAHA!”

SCOTT NORTON vs. BUDDY VALENTINE
Heenan: “That’s not Greg
Valentine, that’s just somebody who bought a robe and wants to look like him.”
THIS is why I love jobbers, they are there to be buried, and it doesn’t matter.
Norton throws some meaty chops, and follows with a powerslam. Clothesline
finishes at 1:55. I guess the
shoulderbreaker was out on that guy. DUD
SGT CRAIG PITTMAN (with Teddy Long) vs. CHRIS
BENOIT
This is your main event,
and there’s lots of time left in the show. Heenan mentions that by hooking up
with Teddy Long, the bank account grows. Heenan: “Teddy Long’s, not yours. He’s
scamming off his wrestlers. This stays between you and me though, I don’t want
this getting out.” Tony: “I don’t believe you at all.” Heenan: “Really? What
was I saying about Hogan 6 months ago? And how do you feel about him now?”
Tony: “He’s a dirty rotten human being right now, Brain.” Heenan: “Exactly.
Long is scamming his wrestlers, believe me.” Pittman stands on Benoit’s throat
while working the arm, which I’m pretty sure is against the rules. Benoit comes
back by sweeping out the legs, and working it over, setting up a surfboard. The
fans chant USA, which makes Benoit scream at them to shut up. Pittman goes
behind, but Benoit hooks the ropes and elbows the Sarge in the eye. Benoit with
the chops, but Pittman reverses and mounts the corner. He gets off 6 punches
before Benoit has enough and hits an atomic drop. A back elbow gets 2. Belly to
belly overhead with a bridge gets 2. Benoit works a headlock, which Heenan
feels is a bad move. He’s found that anytime you hold Pittman’s head for an
extended period of time, within an hour, you want to go bowling. Pittman elbows
loose, tries a sunset flip but Benoit is in the ropes. Pittman gets something
going with an overhead belly to belly, but Benoit has enough energy to kick out
and keep going. This breaks down to a punchfest, but Pittman goes to the
Battering Ram. Code Red is threatened, but Benoit’s in the ropes. Back up,
Pittman hits a crossbody for 2. In the corner, Benoit throws both knees to
Pittman, and pins him with his feet on the ropes at 11:22. It’s official, Pittman can’t be carried. I’m disappointed
Benoit didn’t finish with the 69. **

Tony and Heenan discuss
Benoit/Mongo stepping back at Fall Brawl. Heenan says it’s because Mongo
understands being a team player as a former NFL champion, and figures it’s a
sign the nWo is on their way out. And are they? Tune into Nitro tomorrow to
find out!