WCW Prime: August 26, 1996

So what did we learn this
week?
a)  Ted DiBiase loves his numbers, especially #4 and
#5.
b)  There’s someone named Terry that Hacksaw Jim
Duggan has issues with. Could this in fact be the mysterious Glacier?
c)  Cruiserweight wrestling takes a backseat to the
nWo, but Nick Patrick does not.
d)  Johnny B Badd remains a staple in the opening to
WCW Prime, and may in fact return at any moment despite being involved in the
Intercontinental Title tournament on RAW. I suspect he’s WCW’s answer to the
nWo invasion, and he’s taking over the WWF in a much more stealth manner, along
with Cactus Jack (disguised as a mutilated basement dwelling weirdo), Dustin
Rhodes (pretending to be a gold-obsessed homosexual movie star), and Stunning
Steve Austin (has shaved his head so as to “sever” his ties to his WCW past).
Don’t rule this out, Bischoff is crafty and would be happy to tell you himself.

Hello CHRIS CRUISE and DUSTY RHODES – the worst two-man team this side of Mark Madden and
Stevie Ray! It’s all talk about War Games. Will anything that happens in the
ring tonight have any bearing on this? Seeing as how it probably taped in late
1994, probably not!
HIGH VOLTAGE vs. LOS GUERREROS
Robbie Rage is introduced
as “Ruckus” – so this puts it back at least 2-3 months. I love that the
Guerreros co-exist in a super family tag-team unit on the G-shows, but on any
relevant TV, they cannot acknowledge each other unless DDP is being a scum bag.
Dusty talks about the best athletes in WCW, and suggests that nobody should be
held back just because they have a famous name like Guerrero, or Rhodes. A
little bitterness there, Dust? Chavo nearly scores a pin on Rage, by hitting a
slingshot splash off an Eddie powerslam. Kaos beats down Eddie, but please do
not kid yourself. Rage hits a military slam, and vows to finish the Guerreros,
like an early template of JBL. Once he traded in the far too tight pink singlet
for a cowboy hat and GW parody, things got a lot better. Kaos backdrops Chavo,
and tries to keep him in the heel corner. An inverted Doomsday Device draws in
Eddie to save, and all hell breaks loose. Eddie hits the Rock Bottom on Kaos,
and Chavo finishes with a springboard moonsault for the pin at 6:36. *1/2
BIG BUBBER (with Jimmy Hart) vs. CHIP MINTON
You’ll note that Jimmy
has NOT made good on his promise to prominently feature Bubba on his dress
wear. Despite this, Bubba remains loyal. We go through the usual, with the
Bossman straddle, followed by the baseball slide to the floor that sets up an
uppercut. He applies an STF, but rakes the eyes as he does it in a nice touch.
Big splash misses, and Minton throws elbows to the midsection to knock the air
out of the big man. A dropkick gives him a chance – but Bossman kicks out at 2
and gets right up to deliver a short clothesline. Lazy Pedigree variation (no
arm hook) sets up the Bossman Slam for the pin at 3:06. 1/2*
Do you like martial arts
demonstrations? Are you a fan of Mortal Kombat? Do you like dry ice? Would you
like to see all of this for another 6 consecutive months in 20 second quick
hits? Because, if so, I have news for you: GLACIER IS COMING!
SCOTT NORTON vs. MANNY FERNANDEZ
The presence of Manny
Fernandez has Dusty in a tizzy. Some of the readers on the Blog of Doom were
surprised to read that Manny was still active here – but this is actually a
different Manny Fernandez than the one who was involved with the NWA in the
early to mid-80’s. This one has the body of Colt Cabana, and the charisma of
Brie Bella. In fact, if he were a part of the WWE Super Card game that we’re
all playing (don’t pretend that you’re not), he’d be ranked somewhere between
Virgil and Tamina Snuka, and you’d simply get annoyed picking him up and
immediately use him to level up your Andre The Giant. Manny tries a springboard
something, but falls on his face, and Norton finishes him with the
shoulderbreaker at 2:04. DUD
KEVIN SULLIVAN (with Jimmy Hart) vs. CHAD BROCK
Yes, the same Chad Brock
who would get booked in the Summer of Music for a prominent spot on Nitro,
along with KISS, and of course Master P’s No Limit Soldiers. We use him much
more effectively tonight, by finishing him fast with a double stomp at 0:51, and then send in RON THE LEPRECHAUN to give him rabies.
Mark Curtis gets a chomp too, while Dusty squeals in what he perceives to be
Leprechaun Speak. Everything about Braun the Leprechaun really needs to stop.
They air a “candid”
interview with Ric Flair. Flair talks about the fact he made millions over the
last 20 years as The Man, but even his ego never allowed him to believe he
could create his own “promotion”. Hogan never believed in what he did night
after night, the way Ric does. Concerning the beating Arn Anderson took, Flair
actually believed prior to the attack at the end of July, that the Horsemen and
nWo could work together. But the minute his best friend was attacked, it was
on. So now he understand they’re trying to take over WCW, and he’ll align with
Sting if he has to, because it’s best for the company.
JOE GOMEZ and JIM POWERS vs. ARN ANDERSON and
CHRIS BENOIT (in the Moo Match Prime Cuts Match of the Week)
Arn starts with Powers,
who actually won a match the day before, so Arn best tread carefully. He doesn’t
though, he’d rather do jumping jacks and laugh in the face of Powers for even
trying. Powers delivers the 10 punch count-a-long, and follows with an
enzuigiri. Crossbody block gets 2. Benoit comes in to try and slow Powers’
momentum down, but he gets run over. Benoit tries a backdrop, but gets stomped
in the face instead. Gomez tags in, and slams Benoit. Arn tags, but takes a
backdrop, and the Horsemen are reeling. Back to Benoit, who whips Gomez into
Arn Anderson’s awaiting arms and a cheap shot gives the power back. Head to the
buckle brings Arn back in, and he stomps on Gomez’s fingers and elbow which is
taped up and makes for an obvious target. Benoit can’t help but get his licks
in too. Gomez reaches for the tag, but Benoit keeps the ring cut off. Anderson
works the injured arm around the ropes, using them as a weapon. Gomez fights
loose, but Arn holds the leg and turns things back to Benoit. Gomez boots him
in the face, but Benoit gets up first and does the same, keeping the Desperado
down. Blind charge misses, and now Gomez is able to make the hot tag, but even
the canned heat barely reacts, which is funny because the fans actually appear
to be on their feet for the first time I remember in the history of this show.
Powers slams Benoit’s head to the buckle repeatedly, but misses a dropkick.
Benoit hits Powers with a dropkick to the back of the head, and finishes with
his new favorite submission hold, the 69, at 9:17. I honestly have NO idea what the wrestler is supposed to be
submitting to when Benoit holds him in that position, unless he’s aroused and
screaming “TEABAG OR TAP”. ***

Cruise promises us much
more with the Dungeon of Doom next week. On Prime? Wow, they’re hauling out the
big guns! Dusty wishes the nWo a big bah hum bug, and wraps.