The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–04.17.95

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 04.17.95 Nitro is coming to the Network next week and I’m getting tempted to jump ship, but really I’m only four months behind at this point. Any preference? Keep sticking it out or do something different? Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler and the green screen. Meanwhile, Ted Dibiase introduces Sid as the newest member of the team, which immediately drops Sid’s standing about 18 notches. If you wanted to kill the guy’s momentum as a heel immediately, that was the perfect way to do it. In fact, Vince goes so far as to note that Dibiase was pulling the strings on Sid’s turn the whole time. BARF. Duke Droese v. Jean Pierre Lafitte Yeah, you know it’s 1995 because you’ve got a garbageman fighting a pirate. Lafitte slugs away to start, but Duke gets a hiptoss and clotheslines him to the floor. Back in for a kneedrop that gets two. Blind charge misses and Patchy the Pirate gets a neckbreaker and goes up with a legdrop for two. Lafitte pounds away and they can’t even get the canned heat excited for this, and we TAKE A BREAK?!? Oh god. Back with Metalbeard holding a chinlock, but they collide for a double count and Duke is up first with the comeback. Powerslam and Duke goes up and misses a flying splash, allowing Paul Burchill to finish with the senton at 11:30. What a thrilling debut. * Meanwhile, Mr. Bob Backlund is on the beach for spring break as they just won’t let the joke die. Doink the Clown v. Roy Raymond Raymond bails to the apron, but gets suplexed back in and Doink works the arm. To the chinlock, and the Whoopie Cushion from both himself and Dink (complete with sound effects from both) finishes at 3:18. In Your House Report with Todd. These shows were another sign that Vince was getting nervy about WCW, as Bischoff expanded the PPV calendar to monthly shows and this was the WWF’s response. This also marks the point where I moved into my own apartment for the first time and lost access to my giant satellite dish, thus leaving the USA network behind and not being able to afford PPV for a few months. So as…uh…enticing as the Diesel v. Sid main event was, I didn’t see this show until years later. WWF tag title: Yokozuna & Owen Hart v. Bob Holly & 1-2-3 Kid Kid works Owen’s arm to start and they have a kip-up battle before we get some double-teaming in the babyface corner. Bob goes back to the arm, but Yoko comes in and pummels him down to take over. Owen pulls Bob out and runs him into the post a few times, and the rather dull heat segment begins. Bob with a backslide on Owen for two, but Yoko beats him down and goes to the nervehold. Owen comes in and Bob gets a hope spot with a small package for two, and he counters an Owen superplex for two. Owen cuts off the tag with the Owenzuigiri for two, and it’s back to the resting from Yoko. Ditto for Owen, but Bob fights out and makes the hot tag to the Kid. He hits Yoko with three enzuigiris and a leg lariat to drop him, then hits Owen with a suicide dive, but Yoko casually finishes him with a belly to belly at 15:31. Picked up a bit with Kid’s phenomenal comeback, but the rest was a long chinlock. ** Undertaker feels like drinking and driving is a bad idea. Henry Godwinn v. Rich Myers And now the lowpoint of the show, as Jerry Lawler gets into a phone argument with Cornfed, Duckman’s pig sidekick. Well, I suppose they had the Muppets on RAW a couple of years ago. Slop drop finishes at 2:00. And then after that bullshit, they have the nerve to do one of their promos about how the WWF is “cultured” and people are just being jerks for looking down on them. Next week: Diesel v. Bam Bam Bigelow! This show can suck it.