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The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–02.20.95

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 02.20.95 What’s the only deal even better than the WWE Network at $9.99?  My new Kindle book compiling 1994 RAW!  Only $2.99!  That’s $7 less!  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00MVA2C6W So after a week off for the dog show, this is kind of a big one. Live from Macon, GA. Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jim Cornette Bam Bam Bigelow v. Gary Sabaugh Well obviously they’d use the Stallion in Georgia. During Bam Bam’s entrance, we get cutaway promos from LT’s lawyers, who are now actively accusing the WWF itself of perpetuating the idea of a wrestling match and they DEMAND that it stops. Look, no one ever accused Vince McMahon of promoting wrestling matches around this time, so I think they’re overstepping their bounds. Bigelow pounds on Sabaugh in the corner while Cornette brings up the Stallion’s awesome spaghetti-eating record. Sabaugh gets his token forearms in, but Bigelow chinlocks him down again and finishes with the diving headbutt at 3:50. Adam Bomb v. Rip Rogers Cornette must be getting all his friends some work tonight. Rip manages to lose a shoving match, and man he looks weird without his beard. Bomb gets a slam and dumps Rip with a dropkick, then follows with a dive as Rip is just selling his ass off, bumping all over the ring and looking like he wants a job. Didn’t get one, but points for effort! Bomb with a backdrop suplex and he finishes with the flying clothesline at 3:22. Fucking Rip Rogers, man, awesome. Meanwhile, Bret Hart is presented with “The Most Perfectly Cromulent Sports Entertainer” award by WWF magazine. The King’s Court with Shawn Michaels. OH YEAH. 21 year old Scott was watching this live and marking out right about now. So as noted, Shawn is now a marked man due to his Rumble win, and he needs a new bodyguard…the big, the bad, the vicious…Sid! Unfortunately that relationship didn’t end well for him, but this was a major get for the WWF. As much as we make fun of Sid, he was the biggest star floating around at this point and they were desperately in need of star power. Sid gives the home run promo, saying that Shawn can trust him and he’ll lay waste to everyone in the company because he has no heart and no fear. Just because he was terrible doesn’t mean he wasn’t awesome. Jacob & Eli Blu v. Mark Starr & Leroy Howard Frankly I’m shocked that the Bruise Brothers had never got a shot before this point. So has it ever been established if Uncle Zeb = Zeb Colter in WWF canon, or are they supposed to be different people? These are the things that keep me up at night. The Blus double-team Howard and one of them drops knees on Starr while Cornette recounts the ages-old feud between the Appalachians and the Smoky Mountains. Apparently in Cornette’s area, they cook things. Good to know. A spinebuster into a legdrop finishes at 4:15. So yes, more hillbillies. There was literally nothing wrong with the Bruise Brothers as a gimmick where they needed to turn them into idiot hillbillies. Meanwhile, Diesel gets sent to an NBA event as they desperately try to make him cool and mainstream. Desperately actually doesn’t even begin to describe it. WWF World title: Diesel v. Jeff Jarrett Diesel throws knees and clotheslines him to the floor, but Jarrett comes in for some strutting and gets beat up further. Jarrett bumps all over to make Diesel look like Hulk Hogan and we take a break with Diesel working the arm. Back with Jarrett finally sending Diesel to the floor so that Roadie can hit a clothesline, and Jarrett runs him into the post behind the ref’s back to take over. Back in with a swinging neckbreaker and he chokes away on the ropes, but goes up and gets caught. Diesel comes back with the sideslam and follows with Snake Eyes. Big boot and powerbomb finishes at 12:00. Good stuff thanks to Jarrett putting him over huge. *** Next week: Lawrence Taylor is here with a (taped) interview to respond to Bam Bam. Plus Lex Luger v. Tatanka for the millionth time. It’s RAW 100!