Impact Wrestling – August 7, 2014

Impact
Wrestling
Date: August 7, 2014
Location: Manhattan
Center, New York City, New York
Commentators: Mike
Tenay, Taz
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
Tonight is the night.
After all the weeks of build, all the hype and all the stories,
tonight is when it finally happens. I won’t spoil it for you here
because I’m not TNA, but tonight is when something very big takes
place. Granted they showed it on Impact last week, but that’s been
shown to work in drawing an audience in the past. Let’s get to it.

We get a parental
advisory due to mature subject matter for tonight’s show.
Team 3D and Tommy
Dreamer talk about how they’re going to war tonight and promise to
put Dixie through a table tonight.
We get the IT HAPPENS
trailer to open the show.
Bram
vs. Abyss
Monster’s Ball. The
bell rings and we’ve already got an ECW chant. They quickly head to
the floor and the fans want tables. The announcers are telling the
fans to call their friends for the Dixie stuff. Weapons are brought
in and the fans want blood. Abyss wedges a chair between the ropes
but takes some trashcans to the head to put him down.
Bram brings in a barbed
wire board but gets sent into the corner for his efforts. He brings
in the wrench but Abyss grates his crotch. Abyss sends him face
first into the chair and it’s time for Janice and the tacks. Bram
tries to fight back but gets chokeslammed onto the tacks, only to
have Magnus offer a distraction. A spear puts Abyss through the
barbed wire board and a Janice shot to the ribs gives Bram the pin at
8:12.
Rating:
C+. Picture ANY Abyss Monster’s
Ball match and this was about the same. I’m sick of seeing TNA try
to rekindle the ECW fire though. That’s clearly what they were going
for here and while it was entertaining, I’m totally over it. This
was entertaining, but do something new instead of just rehashing
everything.
Joe
and Low Ki trade words over who will be X-Division Champion.
Team
Dixie says they’re ready for the war tonight. Snitsky insists it
isn’t his fault.
Here’s
the Trio with a bunch of women. MVP rants about how he had issues
when he was the boss and how everyone whined to him. As long as they
control the World Title, they control this company. Lashley is going
to be champion for years to come and he’s run through every hero
here. First up there was Eric Young, then Jeff Hardy and last week
it was Austin Aries. There’s no one left for him to beat.
This
brings out Bobby Roode for a war of words between he and MVP, but
Roode wants to talk to Lashley. Roode says that he’s a former World
Champion and says MVP is going to manipulate Lashley every chance he
gets. Lashley holds up the belt and the Trio attacks, with MVP
nailing him with the crutch. Eric Young and Austin Aries come out
for the save.
Gunner
and Samuel Shaw are walking in the back when Anderson comes up. He
wants to talk to Gunner but wants Shaw gone. Shaw leaves and Gunner
says Anderson should trust Samuel. Anderson isn’t impressed.
Bully
Ray won’t say who their fourth man for the eight man tag is.
Mr.
Anderson/Samuel Shaw/Gunner vs. BroMans/DJZ
Anderson
and Jesse get things going with the bigger star nailing a slam and
elbows for two. Gunner comes in and hammers away for some two counts
as I continue to wonder what happened to his big push. Gunner
tries to tag out to Shaw but Anderson tags himself in due to
mistrust. Anderson beats up the now legal Robbie but still won’t tag
Shaw. Instead it’s Gunner again with the heels taking over via some
good old fashioned eye rakes.
DJZ
nails a missile dropkick and the triple teaming begins. A flapjack
puts DJZ down but Anderson
steals another tag from Shaw. Jesse and Ion save Robbie from a Mic
Check and everything breaks down. Shaw finally comes in and destroys
everything in sight, only to have Anderson get in an argument with
him, allowing Robbie to roll Anderson up for the pin at 5:02.
Rating:
D+. Standard six man
storytelling here as the BroMans actually get a win for a change.
I’m not sure where they’re going with Anderson/Gunner/Shaw but it
seems like one of those stories where they’re either going very
slowly or have no idea what their end goal is supposed to be.
Dixie
has King Mo for protection tonight.
Gunner
and Anderson argue about Shaw. Samuel
comes in and breaks up the argument because it was his fault. This
seems to appease Anderson a bit.
Ethan
Carter III/Rhino/Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky vs. Team 3D/Tommy
Dreamer/???
This
is a hardcore war but entrances are staggered every 90 seconds and
the win can’t take place until the last man enters. It’s Carter vs.
Dreamer to get things going and both have weapons. They quickly head
outside with Dreamer’s knees being sent into the steps. Back in and
Dreamer hits a quick suplex with a Singapore cane before driving in a
bunch of right hands in the corner. Rhino comes in to make it 2-1
and nails Dreamer with the trashcan lid. A bad looking spinebuster
sets up some cane shots but D-Von ties things up with a trashcan.
D-Von takes over with a few shots of his own and we take a break.
Back
with Snitsky giving the
Carters an advantage (and looking to weigh about 400lbs) until Bully
Ray runs out to even things up again and clean house. Ray looks up
at Dixie and Mo as the ECW guys keep dominating. Stephens comes in
to complete Team Dixie and clean house with a chair. The heels
destroy everyone until the big mystery partner is Al Snow.
The
fans want Head (and have a bunch of mannequin heads of course) as Al
beats up everyone again. Ray nails a top rope cross body (didn’t
look bad either) to take out the mercenaries. Spud tries to make a
save but gets What’s Up from Head. Snow moonsaults onto every heel
not named Rhino as this just keeps going. Not that it matters as 3D
ends Rhino at 17:37.
Rating:
D+. This was just WarGames
minus the cage and a lot of the talent. There wasn’t much to see
here and Al Snow was about as uninteresting of a partner as there
could have been. Also, I didn’t need a second hardcore match in an
hour but this show is an ECW tribute show anymore so you have to have
it.
Bully
tells Dixie that the clock is ticking but Dixie says King Mo will
knock him out by the end of the night.
The Beautiful People
don’t like Taryn. Love wants her title shot.
Ethan says his partner
will protect Dixie tonight.
Bound For Glory is
coming to Tokyo.
Here are the Beautiful
People to complain about Gail and Taryn getting all the attention.
Angelina says they’re hotter and that she’s a better wrestler, so why
isn’t she getting all the accolades? Instead here’s Taryn to say
that she’s never been champion but has Gail’s respect. Angelina says
she’s better than both Taryn, Gail, and every other girl on the
roster.
Velvet looks annoyed
but here’s Gail to interrupt. She’s been given the choice of her
opponent, so it’s going to be a fourway next week. Velvet is asked
her opinion but Gail cuts her off and says the title match will
determine the best next week. The Beautiful People cleans house but
gets sent to the floor for their efforts.
James Storm tells
Sanada to win the X-Division Title and bow to him.
Someone whose name
starts with an H and ends with a K is coming.
We get a preview for
next week: the Hardys vs. Team 3D and a fourway Knockouts match.
Bully promises to put
Dixie through a table.
X-Division
Title: Sanada vs. Low Ki vs. Samoa Joe
The title is vacant
coming in. James Storm introduces Sanada in a nice touch, even
though I still don’t know what he gets out of this. Joe hammers on
Sanada in the corner to start before hitting the chop to his back and
a kick to his face. Sanada avoids a knee drop and hits a quick
basement dropkick before Low Ki comes back in for a slugout. Joe
sends Ki out to the floor but Sanada breaks up a dive. Ki and Sanada
head out to the floor for a brawl with Joe nailing both of them with
a suicide elbow.
Back in and Joe does
his powerbomb into the STF on Sanada. Ki makes a save and hits a
cartwheel kick to Sanada’s face, finally giving us the big showdown.
Joe gets the better of it but Ki counters the MuscleBuster into a
dragon sleeper. Sanada breaks the hold but Ki counters the tiger
suplex into a double stomp for two. Joe puts Ki in a cross
armbreaker before slapping the Clutch on Sanada for the title at
6:51.
Rating:
C+. I know a lot of people are
going to love this match but it’s never been my style. I don’t care
for the X-Division triple threat style most of the time and this was
no better than a lot of the other stuff I see. The title isn’t going
to mean much again in a few months, as is always the case for the
X-Division.
King
Mo is warming up as Dixie cheers him on.
Long
video on Dixie vs. Bully. This is a really weird way of doing a
segment as they’re acknowledging what’s coming but still treating it
like it’s spontaneous.
Here’s
all of Dixie’s team but she fires Stephens and Snitsky like the
maniac she is. Cue Team 3D
and Dreamer with a table but Dixie hides behind everyone she’s paid
off. Ray promises to put Dixie through a table and Dreamer says
Dixie is everything that’s wrong with this business. Mo nails
Dreamer and the brawl is on with the ECW guys taking over. Suddenly
Dixie is alone in the ring with 3D but runs when she’s about to take
3D.
Spud
swears it’s never going to happen but the entire locker room comes
out to throw Dixie to the
wolves (Team 3D, not Richards/Edwards). D-Von loads her up (and
grabs her in a rather personal spot)
and Bully powerbombs Dixie off the middle rope through the table, in
what I believe was Dixie’s first bump ever. We even get Bully’s old
euphoric look and the
announcers are WAY too happy to see this.
I’m
not sure how I feel about this. I have no problem with a heel, male
or female, taking a big bump to end a story. What I’m not wild on is
how everything was announced in advance. This is going to cause some
issues in the mainstream media given how violent it was, but that’s
the nature of pro wrestling. It felt very scripted though and that’s
not a good thing, but the ending was exactly what it should have
been.
Overall
Rating:
C+. This is a case
where the main angle is going to determine your taste in the show.
It pays off the angle and hopefully keeps Dixie off TV for a VERY
long time but it’s going to draw a lot of controversy. The wrestling
was good enough for the most part, though I’m very sick of the ECW
tribute stuff. Hopefully this blows it off but I want the energy to
stay as it’s been awesome.
Results
Bram b. Abyss –
Janice to the ribs
BroMans/DJZ b. Mr.
Anderson/Gunner/Samuel Shaw – Rollup to Anderson
Team 3D/Tommy
Dreamer/Al Snow b. Rycklon Stephens/Gene Snitsky/Ethan Carter
III/Rhino – 3D to Rhino
Samoa Joe b. Low Ki and
Sanada – Koquina Clutch to Sanada
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