Monday Nitro – March 8, 1999

Monday Nitro #179
Date: March 8, 1999
Location: Centrum,
Worcester, Massachusetts
Attendance: 10,856
Commentators: Mike
Tenay, Tony Schaivone, Bobby Heenan, Larry Zbyszko
Reviewed by Tommy Hall
We had to get to this
one eventually. I’ve heard warnings about this show for a long time
now and even though I’ve seen it more than once before, the idea that
this was allowed to make air still baffles me. It’s the go home
Nitro before Uncensored, meaning this is the big show to get people
to buy the pay per view. Let’s get to it.

Video on the cage being
built for Uncensored.
Here’s the whole Flair
and Anderson talk from Thunder. It runs over six minutes and is
summed up as Anderson saying Flair should think about his family more
than himself.
The
Nitro Girls are at Brown University for the Nitro Party.
Profile on AC Jazz and
how she does the choreography for the team. She’s the clown of the
bunch.
Here’s the Hogan
interview from Thunder about how much he hates Flair and wants him
out of wrestling. Again, it eats up about six minutes.
More
from Brown University. Konnan is there.
Here’s Konnan’s music
video.
Here’s
a video of Hogan and Nash watching Flair’s promo last week. The only
good part comes when Flair talks about a blonde waiting for him in
Charlotte. Nash: “Buddy Landel?” Hogan: “Buddy Rose.”
Hogan and Nash need to regroup on David and switch gears to Plan B.
Video on Lex Luger.
Konnan t-shirt ad.
This is the second time we’ve seen it so far.
Scott Steiner and Buff
Bagwell, still on the way to Spring Break, have their bus pulled
over. They’re allowed to get out of their ticket if they do police
work. They agree, but can’t decide who is Starsky and who is Hutch.
Instead they harass people for minor offenses. The cops let them go
free.
Back
to the Nitro Party where Kidman is holding the belt and eating
Domino’s pizza. Kidman thinks Mysterio can beat Nash again.
Video on Mysterio vs.
Nash.
The Blonde is at a
shooting range when Hogan and Nash show up. Naturally there’s a
camera facing her when she’s shooting. They call her Sam and suggest
she use some of her other talents to take care of Flair. Nash hits
on her and dinner plans are made. Why Torrie is in a sports bra
isn’t clear.
Now
we go to the dinner where Hogan wants to take Ric out for good.
Torrie says she has a friend hotter than she is and will try to get
her to take care of David. Nash: “How much for the women?” All
this makes me want to do is watch Blues Brothers. The girl shows up
and is named Denise Robinson. After some Graduate jokes, she’s
promised $20,000 for taking care of David. Denise isn’t bad looking
but I don’t think anyone is looking at her with the Blonde across the
table.
Opening sequence, fifty
five minutes into the show.
We
go to the arena for the first time and Gene asks Goldberg to come out
for a chat. Instead, here’s the Wolfpack because we haven’t heard
that music enough tonight. David Flair and Sam come out to confuse
Tenay and Zbyszko (Tony’s voice hasn’t been heard yet). They want
Ric Flair out here to settle this man to man. Instead Goldberg’s
music hits…..and we go to a commercial.
Back with Goldberg
coming out as I guess the music played for four minutes. Goldberg
says he respects the Flair name so he won’t deal with David like he
usually would. However, David needs to learn some respect. David is
disrespecting him by being out here so David pokes Goldberg in the
chest. Goldberg grabs him by the throat and we go split screen to
see Ric arriving and seeing this on a monitor, sending him sprinting
to the ring.
Ric saves his son and
chops Goldberg to no effect. Instead Goldberg press slams him but
Ric gets right in his face and rants about being the best ever.
Goldberg says Flair has lost his mind and stepped over the line.
Flair rants about being the line and a match is made for tonight.
This REALLY sounds like they’re about to turn Flair heel, which might
actually be the dumbest thing I could think of this side of a Jerry
Flynn push.
Raven vs. Hak
Falls
count anywhere. They hug before the match and then the brawling
begins. Raven blasts him in the head with a Singapore cane a few
times before they head outside for left hands from Hak. The fight
heads up the famp with Raven suplexing Hak on the ramp. Raven puts
Hak on a table and dives off the set to drive him through it. Bam
Bam Bigelow walks out and adds himself to the match, even though the
referee throws it out a few seconds later.
Rating:
D.
I can’t stand this stuff, especially when Raven is capable of having
good matches without this nonsense. Hak is Sandman minus the beer
and that’s not something I have any interest in watching. At least
in the WWF they made it funny instead of just ripping off ECW this
badly.
Bigelow
and Raven keep fighting into the back with everyone being thrown into
various metal objects. Hak punches Bigelow up against an ambulance
but Bigelow rams Raven head first into it as well. Raven puts Hak in
a wheelbarrow and throws him into the ambulance. Now they fight over
to a limo with Bigelow throwing them both onto the hood. Raven Even
Flows Hak onto the hood and everyone gets tired and lays around for a
bit. Raven tells Bigelow to bring it on the so the big man dives at
the others. Eventually everyone just walks away to end this. The
post match stuff was three times as long as the match.
Now we look at these
three brawling from last week.
Chris Jericho vs.
Lizmark Jr.
Jericho
comes out with a dog collar around his neck and a long chain
attached. Before the match, Jericho talks about training for the
collar match with monks in Nepal and wants to make this a collar
match. Tony: “There’s been too much talk and not enough wrestling
here.” Lizmark puts the collar on as you can see a bunch of empty
seats opppsite the camera. That’s a really bad sign but shouldn’t be
surprising at all given how the show has gone so far.
Tony
explains some new stipulations to Hogan vs. Flair: if Flair wins he’s
President for life but if he loses, his career ends. Jericho chokes
with a chain to start before wrapping it around his knee and driving
it into Lizmark’s head. Lizmark gets tied up with the chain for two
and an ax handle with the chain around Jericho’s hands knocks him to
the floor. The masked man goes up top but dives into a chain shot to
the face, setting up the Liontamer for the submission.
Rating:
D.
This was just a preview for Sunday so the idea was there but this is
what we’re seeing halfway through the show. The entire show is a
waste at this point and there’s almost nothing that is going to save
this mess. I’m not usually a fan of gimmick matches being used to
preview another gimmick match and this was no exception.
Here’s a look at
Goldberg and Flair from earlier.
TV
Title: Booker T. vs. Scott Steiner
Before
the match, Steiner says no one here in Worcester or anywhere else in
the world could ever duplicate his physique. Tony downgrades
Booker’s status from #1 contender to the US Title to #1 contender to
the TV Title. Steiner hammers him down but gets caught by a forearm
to the head. A spinning kick to the face puts Steiner down and
another sends him out to the floor.
Back
in after a meeting with Buff and Steiner easily takes Booker down
with a nice amateur move. A low blow stops Booker’s comeback and the
referee shouts to watch the low blows. I’d still like to know when
those stopped being a disqualification. They head outside with
Booker getting whipped into the barricade as the fans chant STEROIDS
at Scott. Tony says the referee is staying inside because he’s
intimidated by Steiner. That actually makes sense as we’ve
established that countouts and DQ’s don’t really count in WCW
anymore, so why wouldn’t he go out there for a better view?
We take a break and
come back with Steiner still in control and driving knees in the
corner. He choies Booker with his knee while covering but gets small
packaged for two. A butterfly suplex gets two for Scott but Booker
nails him with a clothesline. There’s the ax kick followed by the
side kick, but Steiner distracts the referee so Bagwell can crotch
Booker on the top rope. The Recliner retains Scott’s title as Booker
passes out.
Rating:
C.
The match was ok but WCW continues their start and go pushes. Booker
beats Bret in a great match then loses to Bagwell and Steiner on
consecutive shows. There’s been no mention made of Booker getting
his US Title shot on Sunday so odds are that’s been either forgotten
or canceled. Granted it’s not like they’re doing anything else right
at the moment.
Steiner blasts Booker
with a chair after the match.
Nitro Girls as Tony
reads the house show (his words) ads.
Now,
just to really hammer in the suck, it’s a Jerry Flynn interview but
Sonny Onoo interrupts. Sonny offers to buy him off to avoid the
match on Sunday but Ernest Miller jumps him. They cut off Jerry’s
ponytail.
Scott
Norton vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.
There
are now more empty seats visible than there were before. Norton runs
Rey over to start and hits a short arm clothesline. After being sent
to the floor, Rey comes back in and gets caught in a release suplex.
Norton launches him out to the floor again as the beating continues.
Rey fights out of a powerbomb but gets dropped face first onto the
turnbuckle. Much like Bigelow last week, Norton pulls him up at two
before hitting a one handed gorilla press. I don’t mean he lifts him
up with two hands then drops one. I mean he lifted Mysterio over his
head with one hand. Then Rey kicks him low and gets a pin. It was
that fast.
Rating:
D+.
That one handed press slam was awesome but that’s about it. The rest
of the match was a squash as I don’t think Rey had any other offense
besides the low blow and a few punches to escape the powerbomb. The
giant killer angle may not produce good matches but the endings are
entertaining.
More
Nitro Girls.
Another video on
building the cage with some narration by Flair.
Van Hammer vs. Bret
Hart
Hammer takes him down
to the mat with a headlock before we hit a test of strength. Bret
grabs a wristlock but Hammer comes back with some very uninspired
brawling. Hart of course comes back with a low blow because that’s
as common as a headlock in this company anymore.
We
hit the Figure Four on Van before Bret wraps the leg around the
ropes. A backslide gets two for Hammer but Bret goes right back to
the leg. He bends the leg around the post but Hammer counters the
Figure Four around the steel. Back in and Bret gets suplexed
followed by a cobra clutch slam for two. Hammer misses an enziguri
and the Sharpshooter ends it.
Rating:
D.
WAY too long here for a Bret squash. Hammer was just a guy for him
to beat up and the leg work got a bit boring after awhile. By the
way, this match is pretty much meaningless at the moment as Bret
isn’t even on the card Sunday. Why we’re spending ten minutes on a
match that doesn’t build up Sunday is an interesting question, but
it’s really low on the totem of things this show has done wrong.
Tony
says this has been a hard hitting three hours. Not only has it been
two and a half hours, but this has hit about as hard as a baby
rabbit’s left hook.
Hogan
and Nash come to the broadcast booth, sending Heenan and Tenay
running off. They don’t have much to say but they’ll be doing
commentary on the main event.
Ric Flair vs.
Goldberg
Goldberg
easily shoves him down a few times to start and there’s a gorilla
press to boot. Flair starts to walk out but Goldberg carries him
back to the ring. Tony: “How many men have accomplished so much in
less that two years?” Nash: “There was some cat from the Emerald
City that did a lot but I don’t remember what happened to him.”
Back in and Flair hits him low a few times before hammering away in
the corner. A third low blow stops Goldberg’s comeback and it’s time
to go for the leg.
The
Figure Four goes on quickly and Flair grabs the ropes. Oh yeah he’s
turning soon. Goldberg turns it over to escape and starts no selling
the chops. He drops Flair with a clothesline and a Flair Flip puts
Ric on the floor. Back in and the spear hits the buckle, allowing
Flair to nail a suplex. Goldberg pops right back up and hits the
spear, drawing in the NWO for the DQ.
Rating:
C-.
The match was decent enough but you knew the run-in was coming as
soon as Hogan and Nash sat in on commentary. There was no way either
guy was jobbing here as Goldberg is Goldberg and Flair is in the main
event in six days. It didn’t help that the match was exactly what
you would expect from these two.
Hogan
and Nash come in as well to help beat down Goldberg and Flair to end
the show.
Overall
Rating:
F.
Here’s the thing: I had it easier than most with this because I could
fast forward the two opening interviews with Anderson/Flair and
Hogan, plus a lot of the music videos and t-shirt ads. That made the
first hour last about fifteen minutes, a lot of which included the
Blonde in various revealing outfits. It wasn’t very hard, though
only because I suffered through Thunder and could fast forward.
Now that being said, if
I watched the first hour live, I’d have been looking into the
quickest and most painless form of suicide. The first hour was one
of the worst ideas I’ve ever seen and accomplished absolutely
nothing. It was a bunch of recaps and some angle that we didn’t hear
referenced for the rest of the night that revolved around David
Flair.
That
brings us to the rest of the show, which was somehow even worse.
Let’s start with the matches. I’m tempted to write off Raven vs. Hak
as not being a match as it was barely given any time and was just
there for a table spot. Other than that we had a squash gimmick
match, a long TV Title match (good for match of the night), another
squash with a fluke ending, a ten minute Bret squash, and eight
minutes of waiting for the NWO to run in. That’s not really a night
worth watching.
Even if you wrote the
first hour completely off, the last two hours made for a horrible
show. It’s a bunch of bad wrestling, annoying segments,
uninteresting build for matches and almost nothing I’d be interested
in seeing. The best part about it is Raw wasn’t even very good this
week. It was mainly spent building up Wrestlemania but did feature
Mankind/Austin vs. Rock/Big Show. Goldberg vs. Flair is big, but
it’s not worth sitting through two hours and forty five minutes of
drek.
This
is pretty high up on the list of worst wrestling shows of all time
but it’s a rare case where watching online is FAR better than
watching live. This would have driven me crazy watching it on TV as
it doesn’t add anything to Uncensored and doesn’t have anything on
its own. Uncensored is basically WCW saying “Remember that
horrible show from three weeks ago with bad wrestling and annoying
booking? Now you get to pay the same price for bad wrestling and
maybe some better booking!” WWF was starting to pull away, but a
lot of it had nothing to do with what they were doing.
Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for just under $4 at:
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