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The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT–06.19.14

The SmarK Rant for WWE NXT – 06.19.14 Taped from Orlando, FL Your hosts are Byron Saxton, Tom Phillips & William Regal Sasha Banks v. Alexa Bliss They’ve already added Bliss to the opening of the show, so you know they’ve got plans for her. They trade gymnastics to start and Bliss gets her patented small package for two and a monkey flip out of the corner. Sasha puts her down with a backbreaker and follows with a surfboard while Charlotte and Summer squabble at ringside. If Orange Is The New Black has taught me anything, it’s that bitches be trippin’ and shit. Finally Sasha goes to settle things on the outside, and Bliss rolls her up for the pin at 3:34. This was fine. *1/2 Meanwhile, Nattie gets Tyson Kidd a tag title shot tonight with Sami Zayn, but he would have preferred if she supported his plans to cheat and win the NXT title instead. Meanwhile, Simon Gotch meets up with Aiden English to form the VAUDEVILLAINS via an old-timey film stock. There is literally nothing about this that isn’t awesome. Mojo Rawley v. Garrett Dylan The parade of god-awful jobber names continues. Mojo attacks and pounds him with shoulderblocks in the corner, but Dylan sends him into the turnbuckles to take over. Regal points out that anyone who wears brown trunks probably doesn’t care what anyone thinks of them. Well spoken. Dylan with an abdominal stretch. Mojo selling is bad enough but doing it for extended amounts of time is just asking for trouble. Thankfully, he quickly makes the comeback and finishes with the butt splash at 3:00. Meanwhile, Sami Zayn gets Tyson all pumped for a chance at redeeming themselves. Somehow I don’t think that Tyson is being sincere in his enthusiasm. The Vaudevillains v. Angelo Dawkins & Travis Tyler The crowd and Regal are just all over this one with delight. Regal immediately reels off a list of Gotch’s strongman feats like he’s been waiting all his life for this character to debut. They take turns working on the arm, including Gotch doing old-school squats to crank on a hammerlock, and English finishes with a senton bomb. Recent history teaches that they would screw this up so fast if ever made it to RAW, but it’s perfect for this crowd. Kalisto v. Tyler Breeze Tough call for the crowd here. Breeze works on a headlock to start and they certainly stretch that out for a while. Kalisto fights back with a headscissors to put Breeze on the floor, and we take a break. Scratch that, it just skips right back to the match for some reason. Did we already get our quota of Batista DVD ads? Back with Breeze holding a facelock, but Kalisto snaps off a rana for two. Breeze slugs him down for two and goes back to the facelock, but Kalisto fights back with kicks from the apron and a springboard bodypress. Kalisto makes the comeback , but walks into the Beauty Shot at 14:32. Man, that was LONG. ** NXT tag titles: The Ascension v. Tyson Kidd & Sami Zayn Viktor pounds on Zayn in the corner to start, but Sami gets a sidekick for two. Over to Konor, who beats on Zayn while the crowd chants along, and Viktor gets two. More beating in the corner and Viktor gets a backdrop suplex for two, and that’s enough for Kidd, who decides to walk away from this losing proposition. Fall of Man finishes Zayn at 4:00. * All storyline here. The Pulse C’mon, a team called the Vaudevillains with a delighted William Regal on commentary? What more do you need? Don’t forget to check out my new column over at The Sporting News!