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WWF Saturday Night’s Main Event May 3rd, 1986

May 3, 1986
Live from Providence, RI
Your hosts are Bobby Heenan and Vince McMahon
Gene Okerlund narrates a video showing all of the matches. Some of this is pretty wacky, especially the Steamboat/Roberts and Adonis/Orndorff parts.

Heenan flips out on Vince over the crowd calling him a weasel. Vince then promises that we will see footage of the Hogan vs. Bundy steel cage match at WrestleMania 2
Terry & Hoss Funk w/ Jimmy Hart vs. Junkyard Dog & Hulk Hogan w/ Haiti Kid
Match starts with JYD slamming the Funk’s all over the place as Hogan is on the mat crawling like a dog. The Funk’s are outside as the Haiti Kid escapes from Terry by crawling underneath the ring. Back inside, Hoss fails to slam JYD then stalls for a bit before tagging Terry. JYD gets backed into the corner but manages to avoid a charging Terry, who goes back outsides and nearly catches the Haiti Kid but JYD pulls him up on the apron and brings him back inside. Hogan tags and locks up with Hoss. Hogan holds the ropes on a criss-cross spot as the Funk Brothers run around then do a do-si-do until Hogan clotheslines them down. He slams Hoss then drops an elbow for two. Tag to JYD as he backs Hoss into the corner then hits one of the weakest clotheslines you will ever see. Hoss makes the tag to Terry, who slugs away at JYD. Hogan tries to break up a double-team but the ref orders him back onto the apron. The Funk’s take down JYD with a double forearm smash then Terry fires away. JYD fights back but Terry is able to make the tag. Hoss lands a few shots but misses a charge in the corner then hot tag to Hogan, who runs wild. He tosses Terry to the floor but Hart knocks over the Haiti Kid with the branding iron then Hogan chases him around as Heenan is laughing about the Haiti Kid getting hurt. JYD picks him up on his shoulder and carries him to the back as we go to commercial. Back from break, Hogan knocks Terry over the ropes and he falls on top of the announcers table. Hogan blocks a suplex from Hoss and hits one of his own then the match breaks down. Terry and Hart are stomping on Hogan outside of the ring. Terry throws Hogan against the guardrail but JYD slams Terry on the floor. Hogan then hits a backdrop on Terry and in the ring, Hogan hits Hoss with the big boot then tags JYD as the Haiti Kid is back. Hoss catches JYD with a right hand then knocks him down. Terry tags and beats on JYD until they clothesline each other in a terrible looking spot. JYD was just the worst in the ring at this point of his career. Funk misses a diving headbutt then JYD tags Hogan, who takes down Terry then hits the leg drop for the win (13:30) **1/4. After the match, Hoss boots Hogan out of the ring and try to brand the Haiti Kid but Hogan yanks Hart out of the ring then Jimmy Jack Funk make’s his debut wearing a lone ranger mask and holding a cowbell. The Funk’s clear the ring then JYD and Hogan start to dance.
Thoughts: Not bad at all. JYD was complete shit in the ring here and they could have shaved off a few minutes but other than that it was at least entertaining. Terry was the glue that held this together because no one else looked particularly good out there. Heenan’s lines about the Haiti Kid and midgets in general were quite harsh, actually.
Uncle Elmer vs. King Kong Bundy
Before the match, they showed us the weigh-ins, with Heenan ragging on Elmer. They lockup a few times and show off their power. Bundy is frustrated as he is unable to knock Elmer down so he rakes his eyes then beats him down. He chokes out Elmer, who eventually fights back and rams him in the corner then uses a splash. Elmer misses a second splash attempt then Bundy drops an elbow for the win (2:35) DUD.
Thoughts: A nothing match but this was the end of Uncle Elmer in the WWF, which is a beautiful thing. According to Dave Meltzer and others that I have heard in shoot interviews, Elmer was driving everyone in the locker room insane.
Gene is with Adrian Adonis and Jimmy Hart. Adonis has a cardboard cutout of Orndorff, who is wearing a tiara, as Adonis talks about how he is prepared for Orndorff tonight.
Paul Orndorff vs. “Adorable” Adrian Adonis
Adonis charges at Orndorff and gets slammed a few times. He rolls outside as the referee holds back Orndorff. Adonis gets pulled back inside then goes upside down in the corner. They stall for a bit until Orndorff puts Adonis in an abdominal stretch. Adonis escapes and uses the ref as a shield so he can attack Orndorff. Adonis charges but Orndorff backdrops him to the floor. Hart gets dragged on the apron then Orndorff presses him over his head and launches him over the ropes at Adonis. After the commercial break, Orndorff catches Adonis with an airplane spin then tries to dump him outside. Adonis slides out and pulls Orndorff, who send Adonis into the post then chases Hart into the ring. Adonis hits Orndorff from behind with the megaphone then takes control. He gets nearfalls with an elbow drop and a suplex but tries a splash from the top rope and lands on Orndorff’s knees. Adonis gets tied up in the ropes after a running knee smash and gets kicked repeatedly then he knocks down Hart. Orndorff dropkicks Adonis then tries to choke him out with his dress as the referee tries to stop him but Orndorff shoves the referee down and the match is ruled a DQ (12:00) **3/4.
Thoughts: Solid match. Adonis took some insane bumps here too and could still go in the ring at this point. Orndorff was very aggressive here, as usual. Funny how he did not change his in-ring style at all when he was a face.
We are shown an interview that took place before the show in an empty arena with Okerlund and Hogan. Not much out of the ordinary is said and shortly afterwards we are shown footage of Hogan’s match against Bundy at WrestleMania 2.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts vs. Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat
Before Steamboat enters the ring, Roberts hit him with a pair of clotheslines. He ducks outside then DDT’s Steamboat on the floor in a sick spot. He rolls Steamboat inside then drags him into the middle of the ring before he dumps his snake, Damien, on top for him. Several WWF officials come out and try to stop Jake as we see a replay of Steamboat getting choked out by the snake. Steamboat is then stretchered out.
Thoughts: Although not an official match, this whole segment was masterfully done and it kicked off a feud that lasted throughout the Summer. This really got Jake (and the snake) over huge.
Best of Three Falls Match
WWF Tag Team Championship
Iron Sheik & Nikolai Volkoff w/ Freddie Blassie vs. British Bulldogs (Champions) w/ Capt. Lou Albano
1st Fall
Davey dodges a charging Volkoff but gets dropped throat-first on the top rope. Sheik tags and hits a back suplex before winning the fall with the Camel Clutch (1:28).
2nd Fall
The evil foreigners take turns beating on Davey. Sheik puts him in an abdominal stretch but Davey takes him over with a hiptoss. Davey misses an elbow drop and Nikolai tags as Vince speculates that Dynamite is hurt, thus not in the ring to start the fall. Nikolai beats on Davey, who eventually hits the world’s slowest sunset flip but Sheik distracts the ref so he takes a long time to start counting. Sheik tags and gets two off of a back suplex as Vince is going on about how Dynamite is injured. Davey comes back with an atomic drop but Nikolai tags and takes him down. Davey comes back with a flying elbow smash but the heels drag Davey to the corner. Nikolai slams Davey, who is able to get his foot on the ropes, but Nikolai still thinks he won and that allows Davey to hit him with a reverse rollup from behind to win the fall (5:58). Vince was going on and on about how Nikolai was an idiot after the fall
3rd Fall
Vince breaks the news that Dynamite has an injured knee as the heels beat on Davey. Davey escapes from Nikolai’s bear hug then hits Sheik with a powerslam but Nikolai breaks the count. Dynamite is in now for the first time as Nikolai has him in a bearhug. Sheik tags and suplexes him then applies the Camel Clutch. Davey comes in to break it up but so does Nikolai. As the referee orders Nikolai back to the corner, Davey comes in and small packages Sheik for the win (9:10) *1/2. The crowd pops huge as Heenan is irate over the illegal man scoring the pin.
Thoughts: Davey tried but this wasn’t much at all and Volkoff was worse than usual. Dynamite legitimately had torn ligaments in his right knee and really should not have been out there at all. Not very exciting but the crowd loved the Bulldogs and hated Sheik & Volkoff so they were sent home happy.
Final Thoughts: The Roberts/Steamboat angle was the most memorable thing on the show and nothing else was embarrassing so it made for a decent episode. I was not that big a fan of Heenan on commentary here, as he had some good lines but became grating towards the end as he was trying way too hard to be funny and screaming most of his lines.