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BoD RAW

This has nothing to do with the WWE

I tossed this up quick and admittedly not my best work

Officer Farva arrives to the BoD Top 5 special entrance but his key does not work. He fumbles around for his keys and a few nips of Stoli fall from his pockets. All of a sudden, White Coat security comes to Farva tells us that since he is no longer Top 5, he is barred from the luxurious lounge and will head to the general locker room. White Coat Security surrounds him an escorts him away.

20-Man Win-a-Talk Show Battle Royal
Zanatude, Todd “Hoss” Lorenz, AbeYance1, thebraziliankid, Bobby, James, YJ2310, Dancin’ Devin Harris, Andrew Dean, Scotty Flamingo, Juvydriver, Spicolli Driver, Dan Selby, Kyle Fitta, MikeyMike2323, C.O. Jones, Worst in the World, Logan Scisco, Andy PG, Dr. Facts


Oh boy. Lots of C-Team representation here. Everyone charges at the Hoss but he runs at them and bodies fly everywhere. Dan Selby is here from England and he is greeted by YJ2310 who tosses him in the corner. C.O. Jones is eliminated first by the true shooter of the BoD, Bobby. Scotty Flamingo is tossed next by YJ2310 as the BoD is now deprived of the “LOL Meltzer” talk show. Hoss sees a fan eat ice cream in the front row and is pissed it was served to them and runs wild. He tosses our British representation, Andrew Dean & Dan Selby, or as Abeyance refers to them as “Limey and Grimey.” He’s a racist, in case you didnt know. Hoss clotheslines Spicolli Driver over the top ropes as that is a talk show that will not be happening. The Young Guns of the BoD, Abeyance & thebraziliankid are teaming up and send Worst in the World over the top rope with a double dropkick. With the talk show segment being only a few minutes long, a twenty-four paragraph question would have never worked anyway. The Young Guns now eliminate JuvyDriver and Dr. Facts, two jam-up guys who probably could not have carried a talk-show segment. MikeyMike2323 charges and he takes out Kyle Fitta with a leg lariat but MikeyMike2323 gets tossed by YJ2310, who is looking to turn around the WORST YEAR EVER. Andy PG is still hanging around, despite being sick but is not looking good and Andy PG has been eliminated by Logan Scisco. Logan has not been seen since losing to Tommy Hall and he is angry, folks. Zanatude comes in from behind and he tosses Logan Scisco as we now know what the world will not be watching. Zanatude and Abeyance are going at it in the corner and Hoss and Devin Harris are battling in the opposite corner. Bobby, true shooter, is angrier than when a Saturday Night Thread PPV has not been selected and has James in an armbar. They get up but YJ2310 eliminates James by taking him over the top rope with a clothesline. I bet James will complain about the man for his elimination. YJ2310 has thebraziliankid in a headlock but breaks and charges at Abeyance, who then eliminates YJ2310 with a backdrop!!!!!!!!!! Oh man, the horrible year for YJ2310 continues as he was the 14th elimination and his year went to hell when he was the 14th ranked poster. Bobby has been eliminated by Hoss after a press slam over the top ropes. Zanatude runs over and tries to toss thebraziliankid but Abeyance breaks that up by eliminating Zanatude. The final four has been set, Hoss, Abeyance, thebraziliankid, and Dancin’ Devin Harris. All four of these men can have a viable talk-show. The Young Guns go after Hoss, who brushes them off. Hoss and Harris go at it but Hoss hits him low and now Harris cannot GET FUN-KAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Hoss rakes Harris in the eyes and then eliminates Dancin’ Devin Harris by tossing him over the top. The chances of getting funky on a talk show have just decreased. Hoss laughs at the youngsters then bitchslaps Abeyance halfway across the ring. He picks up thebraziliankid and then Abeyance for a double chokeslam. Hoss then eliminates thebraziliankid with an overhead suplex. The final two remain, Hoss and Abeyance. Hoss backs Abeyance against the ropes and almost has him over but Dancin’ Devin Harris jumps on the apron and pulls down the ropes. Both Hoss and Abeyance are slipping. Abeyance throws punches to the back of Hoss’ head and both men are falling over as Harris pulls down on the ropes again and both men hit the floor at the same time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GM Bayless comes out as the replay shows both men had their feet hit the floor at the same time. He says that we will have a poll and let the fans decide the winner and the talkshow they want to see.

Hoss’s Snack Shack
Welcome to the BoD! with Abeyance

Vote here: http://vote.pollcode.com/97469918

GM Bayless now has White Coat Security Escort Abeyance to the top 5 lounge.

Parallax is seen angrily walking down the hallway. He is stopped by DavidBonzaiSaldanaMontgomery who says that he shouldnt be angry because Mrs. Whippleman is here tonight and she is married and will fuck anyone. Parallax briefly smiles then turns around and cracks DBSM in the face. Parallax picks him up and presses him against the wall and uses several knee strikes. Parallax grabs the unused salad tray from the buffet table and smashes it in the face of DBSM. Parallax then uses a curb stomp and another one, and another one as White Coat Security breaks up this massacre. We are seeing a new, violent side of Parallax tonight, folks.

Backstage, GM Bayless is speaking with his right hand man, Justice Gray. He tells him that despite not having a name for the next Special Event, he is thinking that with all of the chaos going on he thinks that he knows what he has to do. He also tells Gray that he wants him to check out these shaky camcorder videos of a guy in a Voorhees mask blowing up Honda Civic’s and talking about Vanilla Writers.

Upper Midcard Express & Adam Curry & Kyle Warne vs. Paul Meekin & White Thunder & Curtzerker


Curtis Williams and Warne start out first. They go at it for a bit and then theberzerker runs in and attacks Warne. Curry tries but the referee prevents that from happening. Warne is now being quadrupled-teamed in the corner as the fans are going crazy. Curry runs in and the Upper Midcard Express shortly follow as all eight men brawl. Meekin gets kicked in the face and Petuka sends him through the ropes with a super kick. Curtzerker gets tossed by the champs as White Thunder has been living the Flair gimmick too close and has fled, possibly in violation of unpaid spousal support. The champs stand tall with the Upper Midcard Express behind them but Petuka and kbjone attack the champs from behind!!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON!!!!!!!! Petuka and kbjone are beating on the champs as the other teams are sliding chairs into the ring. Petuka & kbjone use the conchairto on each man as the fans are in shock over this brutal assault. The Upper Midcard Express now grab the Tag Team Titles and put them around their waists as they leave the ring, with the fans pelting them with garbage. THIS WAS A SET UP GOD DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Farva is changing in the hallway as he refuses to enter the general locker room. No more does he get smoothies from Archie Stackhouse, parking from Gosh Hopkins, and clean floors courtesy of Garth Holmberg. Farva is now an intoxicated top 6’er.

As we prepare for the Mar Solo vs. Elvy Landa match, GM Bayless comes out and tells Mar Solo that since it’s obvious that the Unstable are in his head, the only way to prevent them from interfering in his quest against Jesse Baker is to wrestle in a steel cage match at the next special event. Solo tells Bayless he beat these idiots in seconds and Baker lost clean as a sheet without interference. Bayless says by that response, it is obvious that they are way too deep inside of his head and this has to happen in order to make it all stop. Mar Solo cannot believe how ridiculous this whole thing is but Vince Jordan is in the crowd applauding, saying it is a great story.

BoD Solid B+ Player Championship Tournament Final
Hart Killer 09 vs. Joe Dust

This is what it has come down too. All of the sacrifice and what not. Hart Killer gains the early advantage with a dropkick. He then grounds Joe Dust, who fights back. They both go at it in the corner but Hart Killer takes control with an elbow smash. Joe Dust tries to fight back with a suplex but Hart Killer comes right back on the attack. Hart Killer takes Joe’s “Nattie Ain’t Shit” T-shirt and uses it to choke him out. Joe Dust fights back again and gets a few nearfalls but Hart Killer dodges a charge and crushes him with a piledriver for the win and the championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And look, several of the wrestlers in the locker room come out with tears in their eyes telling Hart Killer that he is the greatest Solid B+ Champion of all time. Hart Killer rates WWF1987’s congratulation a 4/10 before leaving.

The Midcard Mafia are now in the ring. Nick Piers tells Bayless that he can have a janitor, security team, and a pet rock but that will not prevent him from getting his ass kicked in the ring. Piers then tells Bayless that he better “fear the Brick.” Ferrari tells Bayless that no matter who he calls up from NXT or tries to bribe from the main roster, they will seek revenge on him and end the tyranny that he has created on BoD RAW. Magoonie Teddy Belmont tells Bayless that he will not change his name and no matter what he does, he and the rest of the Midcard Mafia will take him down. He then says that their first mission is killing off White Coat Security for good. All three then leave the ring focused and ready to take on the evil GM.

World Championship Match
Officer Farva vs. Cultstatus


A drunk Farva comes out to the ring and falls as he tries to get on the apron. Farva is in no condition to perform as he enters the ring and the referee has no choice but to ring the bell. Cult looks bothered as he wasted his time for this but from behind comes Parallax as he attacks the champ with a chair. He is laying into Cult and then sets up the chair for a curb stomp and hits Cult. Parallax is out of his mind as he attacks Cult and Jobber runs out to assist him with the attack on Cult. We get a report backstage and we see the Upper Midcard Express attacking Jef Vinson. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON IN THE BoD. In the ring, Jobber and Parallax are setting up to powerbomb Cult off of the top rope and through a table that is set up on the floor but the Masked Man runs in and breaks it up. He tosses Jobber through the ropes as Parallax escapes. Farva is tanked and on the outside. The mystery man walks towards the ropes and looks at Parallax and Jobber and unmasks and reveals himself as………………………………………………………….THE FUJ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!! HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WE ARE OUT OF TIME, FOLKS