Michael's Impact Review

Impact Wrestling on Spike TV

February 16, 2012

The Impact Zone – Orlando, Florida

–  Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz returns to the booth.

–  We begin with a recap of Against All Odds.  Speaking of Odd, Garret Bischoff match is first up.  Jeff Hardy and Bobby Roode speak about the fallout.

–  Live in the Impact Zone and Bobby Roode makes his way to the ring, wet, and dressed to compete.  Quickly, if someone can tell me what is on his tights, I would appreciate it.  Not looking at the man’s ass or anything, but is that a harpoon?  Shit, maybe I am looking at the man’s ass.  Roode demands to be re-introduced to the crowd.  Whether they like it or not, he is still World Champion.  He gives Sting a ration of shit and says it feel good to have Sting have to declare him the victor.  This brings out Sting in a denim jacket.  No Journey patch, though.  Sting says he is here to make things right with Jeff Hardy.  Since Roode is a fighting champion, there will be a World Title match, no time limit, no DQ.  Oh, and that match is after the break.  Could have sworn we saw this LAST MONTH, the night after Roode be AJ at Genesis.  Come on, man!

TNA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

1.  Bobby Roode vs.  Jeff Hardy

–  Hardy comes out firing and Roode catches his arm.  Swinging neckbreaker takes Hardy down.  Roode charges and Hardy backdrops him to the floor.  Hardy FLIES to the floor onto Roode.  Hardy slams him into the barricade.  Roode crawls up the aisle and begs off at the ramp.  Roode tries to reverse an Irish whip but Hardy sends him into the steps again.  Hardy runs up the steps and hits Poetry in Motion on the outside.  We’ll be right back!  Back on Impact and Hardy is in the ring with Roode.  Front layout suplex gets 2.  Roode charges the corner and runs into an elbow.  Hardy heads up and Roode shoves the ref into the rope and crotches Hardy.  They battle to the floor and Hardy gets the upper-hand again.  He tosses Roode off the stage to the concrete.  Hardy leaps off the ramp and clotheslines Roode down.  Hardy throws Roode into the side of the stage shoulder first.  Match has been on the outside a good 12 minutes now.  Out of nowhere, KURT ANGLE runs down and attacks Hardy.  He throws him into the ring and Rood SPEARS Hardy to get the win @ 16:36.  (This match was all over the place, and it was more of a brawl.  Reminded me of Austin against [fill in the blank] in 1998.  C.)

–  Back on Impact and Bobby Roode is still champion.  He is confident about being champion forever.  Sting runs in and says Roode cheated the system.  He is making him defend the title again.  He is making a number one contender’s match.  Then Roode has to face the winner.

–  Elsewhere, EY is playing a guitar as he gets ready to serenade ODB.

–  And elsewhere, Sting books James Storm against Bully Ray in the #1 Contender’s match.  Storm’s pink shirt, vest, and feathery hair makes him look like he should be in Lynard Skynard.

–  Back on Impact and Mike Tenay narrates a tribute video to Jesse Sorensen.   He says he cracked his C-1 vertebrate.  He has movement in his arms and legs, just 4 days later.

2.  Zema Ion & Austin Aries vs.  Alex Shelley & Shannon Moore

–  Brandon Jacobs is in the front row.  A Double to start with Moore.  Side headlock takeover by Aries.  Ion comes in and gets rolled up for 2.  Shelley comes in with a double ax handle across the back.  Shelley works the arm and Ion rakes the eyes.  Moore back in and clears the ring.  Baseball slide on Aries and hits the Asai Moonsault to the outside.  Ion takes out Moore.  Shelley knocks Ion off the corner.  Back inside, Moore slams Aries.  Shelley misses the double stomp and goes for the Sliced Bread.  Aries throws him into the corner.  Aries goes for the Brain Buster, but Ion tags himself in.  He rolls up Shelley for the win @ 4:08.  (A good X Division tag match.  Lots of spots at the end though.  But that’s expected right?  C+.)

–  Backstage, Madison Rayne assures Gail Kim that she will take everyone out in the Knockouts Battle Royal.

#1 CONTENDER’S KNOCKOUT’S BATTLE ROYAL

3.  Tara/Brooke Tessmacher/ Sarita/Rosita/Angelina Love/Winter/ODB/Mickie James/Velvet Sky/Madison Rayne

–  Madison says everyone should be gracious that Gail is giving them a shot.  Bell rings and Winter is gone @26 seconds.  Tessmacher @ 28 seconds.  Rosita pressed over the head of ODB and eliminated @ 48 seconds.  ODB shoves Mickie off the top to the floor @ 1:36 and ODB then eliminated @ 1:38.  Angelina dropkicks Tara out @ 2:08.  Down to Sarita, Angelina, and Velvet.  Velvet hung up on the ropes and gets free.  Sarita and Angelina with a double elbow.  Angelina goes to dump Velvet and Velvet slams on the brakes.  Angelina gone @ 5:48.  Velvet ducks and Sarita is eliminated @ 6:21.  Madison runs in the ring and dumps Velvet to the floor for the win @ 6:25.  (Eh, was Madison technically in the match?  D.)

–  Backstage, James Storm yells and punches walls.  He is ready to become the next #1 contender.  Elsewhere, Eric Bischoff and Gunner are headed to the ring.

–  Back n Impact, Joe and Magnus comment on how right it is they are Tag Team Champions.  They have a rematch next week with Morgan and Crimson on Impact.

–  Headed to the ring are Eric Bischoff, Gunner, Ric Flair, and Desmond Wolfe’s Chelsea!  Bischoff asks for some cigars and champagne for his friends.  Flair’s eyes bug out his head.  Eric addresses his son.  He says Garret will never be his father.  That is it, apparently.

–  Backstage, Calf-zilla aka Bully Ray cuts a short and sweet promo saying he will be next to face Roode.  And he wants plenty of calf shots too.

–  Some guy named Mike Strakka is with Christy Hemme talking about some MMA show on Spike.  He is a bit of a fast talker.

–  Backstage, EY is talking to ODB in the back.  She has to pee and doesn’t want to hear his song.  EY’s beard looks like it has Soul Glo from Coming to America.  EY serenades her and she pats him on the ass.

#1 CONTENDER TO THE TNA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP

4.  Bully Ray vs.  James Storm

–  Storm gets the upper-hand on Ray and nails a diving forearm in the corner.  Ray grabs a leg and drops down across Storm’s leg.  Ray takes off Storm’s boot.  Ray kicks the leg from under Storm.  Ray pulls his sock down so we can see Storm’s tattooed leg.  He wrenches the leg back and cover gets 2.  We’ll be right back.  Back on IW Ray hits a basement dropkick (?!) on the knee of Storm for 2.  Ray charges and Storm hits a Code Breaker on him.  LAST CALL SUPERKICK OUT OF NOWHERE GETS STORM THE WIN @ 12:21.  (Ray is just getting better and better every week.  I hop they get the belt off Roode soon so Ray can get the strap.  B-.)

–  Storm celebrates on the outside of the ring with Brandon Jacobs.  Ray runs out and attacks Storm from behind.  He gets in Jacobs face ad punks him out.  He drinks Jacobs beer and SPITS IT IN HIS FACE!  Jacobs shoves Ray into the apron and Ray sells like a champ.  D Lo and Pat Kenney come out and hold him back.  D. Lo’s eyes bugging out his head make this segment!

–  We see replays of what just happened.  Brandon Jacobs and James Storm are backstage and promo’s seem to be the weakness for both men.

–  Now Sting is in the ring.  He calls Bobby Roode back out to the ring.  He says Roode will face James storm at Lockdown in April.  Roode kicks Sting in the nuts and pushes him down.  He nails Sting in the head with the belt and Sting is busted open.  He kneels down over Sting and tells him to mind his own business. Show ends.

 

FINAL THOUGHTS…

–  Tonight’s show was real solid.  I thought the Title match to open the show was a little redundant.  But it had that Attitude Era feel to it.  The rest of the show was spot on, minus the Bischoff stuff.  Kind of useless there.  I’m still marking out to Bully Ray, and it’s leaning towards man-crush at this point.  I really want to see the belt on him, but Roode is coming into form as a good champion.  Kind of funny that TNA wasn’t ready to pull the trigger on him.  See you Sunday at the Elimination Chamber!